Hunger For Divergence
by Tamyaa
Summary: "What would you say if I told you I would die for you, Girl on fire?" his quiet voice soothes me and I feel all my problems slip away. I gaze into his deep dark blue eyes for a moment. " I would say that I cant live without you, Four." He is mine, I am his, anything else is unthinkable.
1. Chapter 1

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am sixteen years old. I am Divergent. My faction is Erudite. The Erudite are evil. I plan to leave Erudite_, I think to myself.

Two years ago my best friend Gale left Erudite to become Dauntless. He and I made a plan to leave Erudite because they are planning something big and evil against the Abnegation. We don't want to be a part of a full on war so we decided it would be best to just go.

Gale is eighteen now. There is no doubt that he passed Dauntless initiation with flying colors. He has always had this façade that he put up his whole life in Erudite. But he and I both know what he's really like. Brave. Just like one of the famous quotes from the Dauntless manifesto, Gale and I both believe in ordinary acts of bravery, the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

Maybe that's why both of us have no problem transferring to Dauntless and leaving our family behind. All I really care about is my sister Primrose. I wish she could come with me but she still has 4 years. I haven't forgiven my mother for leaving Prim and I to fend for ourselves after our father died.

Today is the day of the Choosing Ceremony. The room is arranged in concentric circles. Sixteen year olds from every faction stand on the edges. We're arranged in alphabetical order. Marcus Eaton, an Abnegation leader, gives an opening speech and reads the names in reverse alphabetical order. I will go close to last.

I look at the faction bowls: Gray stones for Abnegation, water for Erudite, Earth for Amity, glass for Candor, and lit stones for Dauntless. I plan to have my blood sizzle on those lit stones. I get a little anxious as Marcus gets closer to my name. I think about how Jeanine Matthews, an Erudite representative, released a report about how he abused his son. Now that I think about it, two years ago his son, Tobias, transferred from Abnegation to Dauntless. He and Gale were probably in the same initiate class. I look at my mother, across the room, who has tears in her eyes. I didn't tell her I planned on transferring to Dauntless with Gale… Why would I? I think she has a clue, though. _Faction before blood, _I think to my_s_elf. It eases the guilt.

"Christina Fuhrman", Marcus calls out. The candor girl next to me slowly walks to the center of the room. Marcus hands her the knife. She drags the knife across her palm and doesn't even flinch. She walks over to the coals and her blood makes a sizzling noise. Dauntless. The Candor look betrayed and the Dauntless have smug looks on their face. She is a traitor to the Candor now.

"Katniss Everdeen". My legs walk to the center of the room without my mind telling them to. I take the knife from Marcus and it's like my body has a mind of its own. I cut down the center of my palm but it barely even stings. I hold my left hand over the burning coals and the sizzling sound relaxes me. I've made my choice. It's done.

I hear a few whoops and shouts from the Dauntless. Their probably excited to have two people in a row to transfer to their faction. I stand behind the Dauntless-born initiates next to a blond Abnegation girl. The only Abnegation, or _stiff, _to transfer to Dauntless. I size her up. Long blond locks, abnormally long nose. Her eyes are trained on the floor. She looks as though she's made a mistake. To survive Dauntless initiation she's going to have to lose any signs of regret.


	2. Chapter 2

The last girl makes her choice which is Amity and then it's time for us to go. The Dauntless exit first. I make eye contact with Prim as I walk past the Erudite section. She mouths the words "I love you" and I mouth back "I'll see you soon", with a smile.

I hope I see her soon. Family's can come and see their child on visiting day at their new faction if they would like. Some don't because trading factions makes u a traitor to your old faction. Faction before blood goes a long way for some. Others do come and visit. I just hope my family is one of them.

The Dauntless make their way to the stairs and then they start running and yelling. I hear someone shout "What the hell is going on?" It's good to know that I'm not the only one confused. When we reach the first floor we all pile through the exit. We're all running toward the train. The Dauntless are the only ones allowed to ride the train. They jump on and off of it while it's moving to show their bravery.

I feel fear creep up inside me. The train approaches and all the doors are open. Group by group, Dauntless pour in. Soon it's only us transfers who have yet to get on the train. I run next to the train and jump, pulling myself in the car. I turn around and see the Abnegation girl I was standing next to behind the Dauntless born at the choosing ceremony struggling to get in. I'm just about to help her in the car when the tall Candor girl who chose before I did helps her in.

"Katniss?"I hear someone say. Their voice sounds vaguely familiar. I turn around and see my friend, Will, from Erudite. "Will!" I say with excitement and a little bit of relief knowing I don't have to go through this alone. I hug him. "You transferred to Dauntless? Wow, I wouldn't have expected that", I say. "I know", he says while laughing, "It's what I got on my aptitude test and I was getting kind of tired of the Erudite ways so I said, 'Hey, why not give it a try?'"

I laugh. "What about you," he asks, "You never pegged me as the Dauntless type." I shrug, "I don't know, I just needed to get away from Erudite and Dauntless was the logical choice." I say. "Yeah, you weren't the smartest one in the bunch either", He says while smiling. I shove him with my shoulder and we both end up laughing.

The wind is blowing my hair all over the place and I'm having trouble containing it. I attempt to put it in my signature braid down my back but the wind even makes that task difficult.

"Need help?" The skinny little Abnegation girl asks me. At first I'm surprised she offered but then I remember: Abnegation= selfless. "Yeah, Thanks." Her stubby fingers weave through my hair and her touch sends a chill down my body.

The only person who ever did my hair was my mother. The thought brings a little bit of sadness. She ties the end of the braid with a ponytail holder. She smiles at me then walks back to the Candor girl who helped her on the train.

I wonder what Gale has been doing these past two years. Does he have a job? Does he have a girlfriend? My stomach turns at the thought. Gale and weren't exactly romantic with each other. I always saw him as a best friend, an older brother, perhaps. I never really thought of him in _that _kind of way. He must have thought what we had together extended beyond friendship because right before the choosing ceremony two years ago, he kissed me.

It was my first kiss and I wasn't really expecting it. After that he said see you soon and went on into the building. I don't even know if I liked the kiss. I can't remember what it felt like. It was so quick. Afterwards I caught myself dwelling on it. I was starting to wonder if I had a crush on Gale. It didn't matter anyway because he was off to the Dauntless compound. I probably wouldn't see him for two years. Someone's shout interrupts my thoughts.

"They're jumping off!"

I lift my head suddenly. The train is slowing down. I see the faction transfers lined up near the opening of the train car and make my way to stand with them. I look out and see a roof with a gap between it and the train. Fear starts to prickle up inside me again. I have to shake my fear if I want to survive the Dauntless initiation.

Transfers start jumping off. I swallow my fear and jump onto the roof after the Abnegation girl and the Candor girl. I land face first onto the ground. "Ow!" I yell and sit up. I feel my face and realize I have a scratch right above my left eyebrow. _Just great_, I think.

The Candor girl in front of me is laughing. "That was fun," she says. Is she crazy? That was terrifying. All the initiates made it onto the roof except for an Amity boy. I hear a scream and turn around to see a Dauntless girl standing at the edge of the roof, staring at the ground. A dauntless boy is holding her back. "Rita calm down," he says. I look over the edge to find a girl sprawled out on the pavement. Dead. I feel sort of sick. I might throw up. Bile comes up in my throat but I swallow it. I can't throw up in front of these people. They expect me to be weak. I have to show them I'm strong.

"Ooh. _Scandalous! _A Stiff's flashing some skin!" I hear someone shout. I turn around to a tall Candor boy, Peter, pointing at the only Abnegation here. She was looking at the cut on her elbow. Her cheeks heat up.

"Listen up! My name is Max! I am one of the leaders of your new faction!" a man shouts at the other end of the roof. He has dark skin and a little bit of gray hair. He is standing at the very edge of the roof like its nothing. "Several stories below us is the member's entrance to our compound. If you can't muster the will to jump off, you don't belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first"

"You want us to jump off a _ledge_?" I ask before I have the chance to stop myself.

"Yes", Max says looking amused

"Is there water at the bottom or something?" I ask

"Who knows?" he replies raising his eyebrows.

The crowd in front of the initiates split in half. I'm not too sure about this whole situation. Jumping from trains, jumping off of ten story buildings, it all seems like a bit much. This is what I signed up for though. This is what Gale went through and I have to go through it too.

The Abnegation girl makes her way to the edge. She's not about to jump is she? I expected one of the Dauntless-born initiates to jump first, but a _stiff_? That's unheard of. Wind whips through her clothes. She starts unbuttoning her jacket and pulls it off of her shoulders. She balls it up and throws it at Peter. People begin to shout, edging her on. She bends her knees, leaps, and then she's gone.

Max claps his hands together loudly, "Who's next?" he asks.

The tall, dark skin, Candor girl, I believe her name is Christina, makes her way to the edge and jumps. I can hear her screaming all the way down.

I think that there is water, or a net, or _something, _to keep us from dying after we jump off this ledge. There has to be. Dauntless just can't go off killing their initiates, can they?

With this logic I make my way the edge and without further doubt, jump off. The weightlessness makes my stomach fly into my throat. I begin to yell but there is no sound coming from my mouth, at least I don't think there is. I can't hear anything but the wind roaring in my ear.

The impact steals all the air from my lungs. I landed safely in a net. Phew. I knew it. I try to stand up but just fall over again. I hear a male voice laughing and turn my head. I don't see a face all I see is a hand so I grab it and it pulls me off the net.

My foot gets caught in one of the holes in the net so I fall, but strong hands catch me and lift me up onto this platform. When I regain my balance and stand up straight I'm staring into someone's eyes. They are blue, a very dark blue. That's a strange eye color; I didn't know it was possible for someone's eyes to be that shade of blue. I've been staring for too long.

"You okay?" the boy who the eyes belong to asks me

"Oh, Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." I say with a smile.

The platform we're on is ten feet above the ground and around us is an open cavern.

"What's your name?" he asks

"Katniss and you?"

He laughs and says, "Four"


	3. Chapter 3

"Welcome to Dauntless, Katniss." Four says.

"Thank you" I reply.

When all the initiates are on solid ground, Four and a girl named Lauren lead us down a narrow tunnel. The walls are stone, and the ceiling slopes giving the illusion that we are descending farther and farther into the ground.

The initiates in front of me stop suddenly and they go down the line smacking into the back of the other. I stop soon enough so it doesn't happen to me.

"This is where we divide", Lauren says. "The Dauntless-born initiates are with me. I assume you don't need a tour of the place." She smiles and a large part of the initiate group breaks off and follows Lauren into oblivion. Only nine people are left. There is one Abnegation transfer, no Amity, and the rest consist of Erudite and Candor. I only recognize some of the Erudite and the only Candor I know is Christina. That's because she chose Dauntless before I did.

Four speaks up. "Most of the time I work in the control room, but for the next few weeks, I am your instructor. My name is Four" Four is extremely handsome. His dark hair is cut short, Abnegation style, surprisingly, and his eyes… Oh his eyes… they look like you can get lost in them and never find your way out.

"Four? Like the number?" Christina asks

"Yes, is there a problem?" Four replies

"No"

"Good. We're about to go into the Pit, which you will someday learn to love. It-"

"The Pit?" Christina snorts, "Clever name."Four goes up to Christina and leans his face so close to hers you would think he was about to kiss her. He doesn't. He narrows his eyes

"What's your name?" he asks so quietly it's barely audible.

"Christina." She squeaks

"Well, Christina, if I wanted to put up with Candor smart mouths, I would have joined their faction. The first lesson you will learn from me is to keep your mouth shut. Got that?"

She nods.

Four continues walking and we all follow him in silence. Four seemed different when he helped me on the platform, certainly not feisty like he is now. Maybe I should get to know him before I make any quick judgments about him.

Four pushes a set of double doors open leading us into the Pit, an underground cavern. People are everywhere you look, dressed in black. "If you follow me," Four says, "I'll show you the chasm." We approach a railing and I hear water crashing against rocks.

The floor drops off at a sharp angle, and several stories below us is a river. "The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy!" Four has to shout over the sound of the river. "A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You've been warned"

"Scary isn't it?" a voice besides me says. I turn and look to see Peter.

"Uh yeah. I guess so" I reply. I don't really know why he's talking to me. I know he's a jerk by the way he treated that Abnegation girl- whose name I have yet to learn-. He and his two friends, Drew and Molly, are already on my list not to socialize with.

"You're Katniss, right?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"I guess I just play closer attention to pretty girls," he says with a smile

If I hadn't seen the way he acted before, that smile would make me think he's a nice person. I know better. People aren't how they seem. I learned that the hard way.

I smile back; it's not a real smile though. Peter is cute but I don't go for the bully type. Besides that, I'm not here to fraternize with boys. I'm here to make it through initiation and find Gale.

Four leads us across the Pit toward a gaping hole in the wall. The room beyond is a dining hall full of people. When we walk in, the Dauntless inside stand. They applaud, stamp their feet, and shout. I smile along with the other initiates.

I search the room for an empty seat. I pick a seat between Will and Four. Will stands up before I sit down to pull out my chair for me. "What a gentleman," I say as I sit down. Will laughs, "You know me." I think I catch Four roll his eyes.

I grab a hamburger from the middle of the table and focus my attention on Four. Maybe he knows Gale. "Hello Four," I say

"Katniss," he says nodding his head.

"So Four, you're eighteen right?" I say

"Yes, that's correct. Why?"

"I was just wondering if you knew a," I hesitate, "cousin of mine."

"Your 'Cousin' goes by the name of?"

"Gale. Gale Hawthorne," I say. Four freezes and tenses up. He turns and looks at me. We stare into each other's eyes. His eyes look so dark and thoughtful. They look familiar too. I can't put my finger on it. We've been staring for a couple of seconds; a couple of long seconds. I clear my throat.

He turns his head away and looks at his food. "No I can't say that I do," he replies flatly. It's clear he's lying. Why would he lie? Is he hiding something? "Oh."

"He transferred here two years ago so I just assumed-"

"Well you assumed wrong," Four says, cutting me off.

Yeah, he's definitely got something to hide.


	4. Chapter 4

The doors to the dining hall open and everyone falls silent. A vigorous looking man walks in. He has long dark hair that's very dirty and greasy. His face is full of piercings.

"Who _is_ that?" Will whispers.

"Eric. He's a Dauntless leader," says Four

"How old is he?" I ask.

"Eighteen."

"You can be a leader of Dauntless at _eighteen_?" Will asks. It does seem ridiculous. Who knows what kind of adolescent things an eighteen-year-old leader can come up with? It just doesn't seem wise.

Four scowls at Will. "Age doesn't matter here." He simply states.

Will and I exchange looks. Then what does matter?

Eric starts to scan the room with his eyes, searching for somebody. His eyes fall on Four and a malicious looking smile spreads across his face. He makes his way toward our table and plops in the seat on the other side of Four.

"Aren't you going to introduce me?" he asks, eyeing Will and me.

"This is Katniss and Will."

"Mmm, they look a bit _prudish_ for Dauntless. Don't you think?" Eric asks.

"I think-"

"Maybe you shouldn't judge a book by its cover_. _You should get to know people before passing judgments," I blurt out, interrupting Four.

"Careful, Katniss," Four says to me under his breath.

Why should I be careful? Eric basically said I was too prissy for Dauntless. He doesn't even know me. How is he going to make that assumption just by looking at me?

"Well you're a feisty one aren't you?" Eric laughs. "We'll see how long you last," he says smiling.

_I will last, _I was going to say, but something tells me I've said enough. I just stare at my food.

Eric taps his fingers on the table. "What have you been doing lately, Four?" he asks.

Four shrugs. "Nothing, really," he replies

There's something about Four's posture that suggests he's uncomfortable. Maybe he's uncomfortable with Eric around. I don't think their friends.

"Max tells me he keeps trying to meet with you, and you don't show up," Eric says. "He requested that I find out what's going on with you."

"Tell him that I am satisfied with the position I currently hold," Four says

"So he wants to give you a job."

"So it would seem," Four says.

"And you aren't interested."

"I haven't been for two years."

"Well," says Eric. "Let's hope he gets the point then." He clearly sees Four as a threat to his position.

Eric stands, claps Four on the back, and walks away. I'm immediately relieved when he's gone.

"Are you two friends? I wasn't really getting that vibe, if so," Will says.

Will took the words right out my mouth.

"We were in the same initiate class. He transferred from Erudite," Four states.

"He transferred from Erudite? I don't ever remember seeing him," I say

"Me either," Will adds

"Well, I imagine he looked different back then," Four says.

"Oh. Were you a transfer too?" I ask

"I thought I would only have trouble with the Candor asking too many questions." He says, glaring at Will and me

"It must be because you're so approachable," Will says sarcastically with a smile.

Some Dauntless member at the other side of the room calls Four over.

I turn toward Will and we both end up laughing, just like on the train.

After dinner, Four disappears and Eric leads us down a series of hallways. At the end of each one is a blue lamp and between them its dark.

Eric stops in front of a wooden door and crosses his arms. We all gather around him.

"For those of you who don't know, my name is Eric. I am one of the five leaders of the Dauntless. We take the initiation process very seriously here, so I volunteered to oversee most of your training."

It's a bittersweet feeling knowing Eric will be watching us train. I want to prove to him how strong I am but at the same time I don't want him anywhere near me.

"Some ground rules", he says. "You have to be in the training room by eight o'clock every day. Training takes place every day from eight to six, with a break for lunch. You are free to do whatever you like after six. You will also get some time off between each stage of initiation."

"You are only permitted to leave the Dauntless compound when accompanied by a Dauntless," Eric says. "Behind this door is the room where you will be sleeping for the next few weeks. You will notice that there are ten beds and only nine of you. We anticipated that a higher proportion of you would make it this far."

"But we started with twelve," Christina says.

I shake my head. Christina is going to have to adapt to Dauntless life fast if she wants to make through initiation. Meaning: saying everything that's on your mind is going to have to stop.

"There is always at least one transfer who doesn't make it to the compound," says Eric, picking at his cuticles. "Anyway, in the first stage of initiation, we keep transfers and Dauntless-born initiates separate, but that doesn't mean you are evaluated separately. At the end of initiation, your rankings will be determined in comparison with the Dauntless-born initiates. And they are better than you already. So I expect-"

"_Rankings?"_ I ask. "Why are we ranked?"

Eric smiles at me. "You ranking serves two purposes," he says. "The first is that it determines the order in which you will select a job after initiation. There are only a few desirable positions available."

Rankings, jobs, I didn't know I would have to be dealing with this. Now I know that I'm going to have to do more than just show Eric I'm strong. I'm going to have to be strong.

"The second purpose," Eric continues, "is that only the top ten initiates are made members."

Everyone is still and no one makes a sound. Some of us will be cut?

"What?" Christina says

"There are eleven Dauntless-born and nine of you. Four initiates will be cut at the end of stage one. The remainder will be cut after the final test."

Gale and I would train, occasionally, for Dauntless initiation after we decided that we wanted to leave. Neither of us knowing what it would be like. We made each other stronger. I can't help but wonder how Gale did during his initiation. What rank did he get? What kind of job did he get? Most importantly, where is he now? Hopefully when I'm able to answer that last question, he'll be able to answer the first two.

"What do we do if we're cut?" Peter says.

"You leave the Dauntless compound and become factionless." Eric says

"But that's… not fair!" The man-ish looking Candor girl, Molly says. "If we had known-"

"Are you saying that if you had known this before the Choosing Ceremony, you wouldn't have chosen Dauntless?" Eric snaps "Because if that's the case, you should get out now. If you really are one of us, it won't matter to you that you might fail. And if it does, you're a coward.

Eric opens the doors to the dorm.

"You chose us, Now we have to chose you."


	5. Chapter 5

I lie in bed thinking about what I'm going to do. How I'm going to rank high enough to stay in Dauntless. How I'm going to find Gale. How I'm going to find out what Four is hiding.

I wonder what Prim is thinking right now. I wonder what my mother thinks of me. Does she see me as a traitor? I know Prim doesn't because she said she loved me at the Choosing Ceremony. My mother didn't even glance in my direction. The thought overwhelms me with sadness.

I feel tears in my eyes. My sight begins to blur from them. _Come on Katniss. You have to be strong._

Friends. I need people to rely on. So far the only friend I have here is Will. Maybe the Abnegation girl thinks of me as a friend; or her friendliness could actually just be the Abnegation inside her. I don't know.

An ear-splitting sound interrupts my thoughts. It sounds like a sob. I see a big body turn over in his bed and he buries his head in his pillow. I think his name is Al. The pillow stifles the sob some but not enough.

I feel heat swelling in the back of my eyes. Somehow his sobbing saddens me.

He's the biggest one here. He looks so strong but I guess looks can deceive. I wish he would be stronger. Then I wouldn't have to put up with his crying. Here I am trying to push back my tears and he's just sobbing away.

I pull my blanket over my head and press my palms to my ears. I hear another strangled sob. _Why won't you shut up?_

Eventually I drift off to sleep.

_**"The**_ first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight." Four goes around and puts guns in our hands.

"Thankfully, if you are here, you already know how to get on and off a moving train, so I don't need to teach you that."

I'm still really tired and in no shape to be training this early in the morning. We all got less than six hours of sleep last night.

"Initiation is split into three stages. We will measure your progress and rank according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time."

I can't help but think that putting this gun in my hand was a mistake. A weapon that can do so much my damage, such as take lives, should not be in my hands.

"We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear. Therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way," says Four. "The first stage is primarily physical: the second, primarily emotional; the third, primarily mental."

"But what…" Peter yawns. "What does firing a gun have to do with bravery?

Four flips the gun in his hands, presses the barrel to Peter's forehead, and clicks the bullet into place. Peter freezes in the middle of a yawn.

"Wake. Up," Four snaps. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it."

He lowers his gun and Peter has on a look of indifference. Yet his eyes are hard.

"And to answer your question… you are far less likely to soil your pants and cry for your mother if you're prepared to defend yourself." Four stops at the end of the row and turns. "This is also information you may need later in stage one. So, watch me."

Four turns and faces the wall with the targets on it. He stands with his feet apart and holds the gun with both hands and pulls the trigger. The bang is ear-piercing. The bullet went right in the middle of the circle.

We all face our own targets. I spread my feet apart, and pick up the gun. I wrap both of my hands around the handle and aim the gun at the target. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and fire the gun. The recoil sends my hands into my chest and I drop the gun.

I turn and look at the candor boy next to me. He is medium height, with blond hair that falls in locks over his forehead. His eyes are a crystal clear blue. I think his name is Peeta. He holds the gun firmly in both hands and fires.

The sound makes me jump. I look at the target. The bullet just missed the center of the circle.

I turn around and pick up my gun and hold it with both of my hands. I face the target, aim, take a deep breath, and fire. This time I keep my eyes open to see where the bullet hits. It clips the edge of the board.

It takes me 4 more bullets to hit the middle of the target. I put my gun down and look at Peeta. He hit the center of the target a while ago and now he's just shooting for fun. I can't help but notice how delicate his hands are and how steady his breaths are as he shoots the gun. He doesn't hesitate or barely move when he fires it.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," a voice from the other side of me says.

I turn around to find Christina studying me just as I was studying Peeta.

"Oh, no, I wasn't-," I start

"Mhm," Christina interrupts me. "You were drooling. I saw it with my own eyes," She says with a smile.

I laugh. "I was not. I was just… observing the way he fired the gun since he hit the target way more than I did."

"_Right_." Christina says. "_Observing_."

After training we break for lunch. I sit with Christina, the Abnegation girl- Tris -, Will, and Al. When I look at him I go back to last night. I hear the sounds of his sobs so I try to avoid looking at him.

"Oh, come on. You don't remember me?" Christina asks Al. "We were in Math together just a few days ago. And I am _not_ a quiet person."

"I slept through Math most of the time. It was first hour!" Al replies

"Tris, do you remember ever taking a class with me?" Christina asks.

I look at Tris who looks really zoned out. She's using her fork to play with the peas on her plate.

"Tris, you in there?" Christina snaps her finger in front of Tris' face.

"What? What is it?" Tris asks, coming out of her daze.

"I asked if you remember ever taking a class with me," Christina says. "I mean, no offense, but I probably wouldn't remember if you did. All the Abnegation looked the same to me."

I tune out their conversation. I don't remember seeing Peeta before today. You would think I would seeing how there is only nine of us. He doesnt't look like the Dauntless type, but I know not to judge a book by its cover.

He's Candor, just like Christina. She could know him. I look up at her and she's laughing at something Will said. Should I ask her about him? I mean, I do want to know more about him. Maybe I should just talk to him myself.

My eyes scan the room searching for Peeta. I find him sitting with a group of Dauntless-born initiates. He's laughing and I can't help but notice the sparkle in his crystal blue eyes when he smiles.

"Uh, Katniss, What you thinking about over there?" Will asks me

"Huh?" I say coming out of my daze.

"You were smiling at something"

"Oh um," I start.

Christina turns around to see what I was staring at. When she turns back around she has this knowing smirk on her face.

"Oh, _I know_, what she's looking at," Christina says. She's smiling from ear to ear.

"What?" says Will, confused. He turns around to see what Christina is talking about. He turns back around looking even more confused.

"Nothing," I say. "I wasn't looking at anything I was just…daydreaming."

"_Right_," Christina says. "_Daydreaming_"


	6. Chapter 6

After lunch, Four leads us to a new room. Its huge, with a wood floor that is cracked and creaky and has a large circle painted in the middle. On the left wall is a chalkboard.

Our names are on the board in alphabetical order. Black punching bags are hanging from the ceiling.

All of us pick a punching bag and stand behind them waiting instruction from Four.

"As I said this morning, next you will learn how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threats and challenges- which you will need if you intend to survive life as Dauntless," Four says

I already know about fighting from training with Gale. This should be easy. Maybe I'll even get a high rank. I can only hope the rest of the initiates aren't as experienced as I am.

"We will go over technique today, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other," says Four. "So I recommend you pay attention. Those who don't learn fast will get hurt."

In Erudite, Gale studied martial arts and unique fighting styles for a while. He then taught me all that he knew. He taught me to wait, and to doge until I see any signs of weakness or exhaustion from my opponent, then to deliver the final blow.

Four names a few different punches, demonstrating each one as he does, first against the air, then against the punching bag.

Most of the kicks and punches are less advanced than what I learned.

I kick the punching bag with the top part of my foot instead of the bottom.

When the other initiates punch and kick the bag, it barley moves. When I make contact with my bag it swings backward, just like Four's did.

Four goes around through the crowd of initiates observing our movements. He stops in front of me.

"You catch on fast," Four says to me.

"Yeah. I guess you could say that." For some reason, I don't think it's a good idea to tell Four that I've been practicing fighting techniques since I was fourteen.

"Your movements are precise for a beginner."

I give him a half smile. While I don't think it's a good idea to tell him the truth, I don't think it's a good idea to lie, either.

I decide to do a few sloppy kicks to put his suspicions to rest.

He narrows his eyes, smirks at me, and then continues watching the other initiates.

When Four dismisses us for dinner, Christina walks up to me.

"You were great in there. You looked all fierce. And apparently I wasn't the only one who noticed," Her eyes flick up to Four and then back to me.

"Thanks. You did well too," I say

"I know, but not as well as you. You were on fire," She replies.

"Yeah, well.." I say

"I'm going to go give Tris a makeover. Want to come with? I can do you too." She says

"I'm not really the makeover type."

"Oh come on!" she says pulling my arm toward the clothing place.

Ten minutes later, Tris and I are standing in front of a mirror in the clothing place. I'm wearing blue denim short shorts that stop above my thighs, and a black top that hangs off my shoulders exposing my collar bone.

Tris is wearing a knee-length black dress. It exposes her arms and I can see goose bumps raise on her skin.

Tris and I both have our hair in a braid except her blond hair is shorter than my brown hair.

Christina slips the tie from Tris' hair and then mine and we shake our braids out.

Then she holds up a black pencil.

"Eyeliner," she says

"You aren't going to be able to make me pretty, you know," Tris says.

Tris has pale blue eyes. Her nose is abnormally long and her blond hair stops just below her shoulders.

I think she's pretty. If her nose weren't so long, she would be prettier but she's certainly not ugly.

Christina runs the tip of the pencil along the line of Tris's eyelashes, and then she does me.

"Who cares about pretty? I'm going for noticeable." Christina says.

We both turn to look at our reflection again.

"See? You two are beautiful, striking, on fire," she says smiling. "Let's go watch Al get tattooed."

All three of us race to the tattoo parlor. I think about what Christina said about us being on fire. It reminds me of a story my dad use to tell Prim and I before he died. It was about the girl on fire.

The girl on fire was a forceful girl who lived in a society where she and her people were being marred. She sparked a rebellion against her oppressors and ultimately won the freedom of her country.

My dad use to tell me that I reminded him so much of the girl on fire. She was strong willed, she valued her family more than anything, and wasn't afraid to risk her life for the ones she loved.

When we get to the tattoo parlor, Al is sitting in the chair already and a small narrow man with more ink than skin is drawing a spider on his arm.

Christina and Will flip through pictures, elbowing each other when they find a good one.

"Are you going to get one, Katniss?" Will asks me.

"I don't know, probably not." I say

"Aw, come one. We're getting ones," Christina says pointing to Will and her.

I look at the man who just got finished tattooing Al as he cleans off his needles.

"Alright, why not?" I say. I know exactly what I want to get. I walk up to the man with all the tattoos.

"Hey there pretty lady. You want a tattoo or piercing?" he says.

"A tattoo please." I reply

* * *

"_**Since**_ there are an odd number of you, one of you won't be fighting today," says Four, stepping away from the board in the training room.

I look up at the board and find my name at the very top. Next to it is written Drew.

I look over at Drew. He's short and chubby with hunched shoulders. It shouldn't be too hard to beat him if I use my speed. I'll have to put extra force into my attacks to knock him off his feet, though.

I scan the rest of the board and find that the space next to Tris' name is blank.

It's probably for the best. She's so small; anyone can probably rip her to shreds.

Eric walks in the room and leans on the wall, right next to Four. He says something to Four that I can't quite catch and a smirk appears on his face. Four tenses up.

"Alright," Four says. "Up first are Katniss and Drew."

I hear Gale's voice in my head as I walk up to the ring.

'Always play on the defensive side first, unless you know you have the jump on your opponent. Slow down his attacks with your mind,' He said.

'And how am I supposed to do that?' I asked

'I don't mean literally. I'm talking mental here, Katniss. You should be able to sense movement and block that movement before it has the chance to strike you. Understand?'

Drew and I are in the center of the ring, facing each other.

"Don't worry. I'll try not to mess up that pretty face of yours too bad," he says and winks at me.

He launches his first attack with his right fist. It's coming toward my face, but before it gets there I swing my open left palm so it intersects his hand. I grab his wrist with my left hand and I twist it.

I hear a cry of pain coming from Drew's mouth. While his wrist is in mine, I swiftly kick him in his side with the top of my foot and it sinks into his flesh. I let go of his wrist and he stumbles off to the side of the ring but doesn't completely fall over.

I'm on my toes now, waiting for his next attack.

He regains his balance and rushes toward me. He attempts to kick me in my face but I duck. While I'm crouching and he's only standing on one leg, I hook my foot around that one leg and yank it back and Drew falls to the ground.

As Drew is on the ground, I make a fist, grab him by his shirt, and yank him up so his face connects with my fist.

Blood starts to trickle from his nose. It doesn't look like he's going to be getting back up so I exit the ring.

Four goes up to the chalk board and circles my name. Four then goes in the ring and wraps Drew's arm around his neck and escorts him to the infirmary.

That wasn't hard at all. Quick and easy; I hope the rest of my fights go the same way.

"Next up is," Eric looks up at the board and laughs, "Peeta and Peter."

"Looks like I have to fight the British version of myself," Peter says as he makes his way to the ring.

Peter and Peeta might have similar names, but they couldn't look less alike.

Peter is tall, skinny, with black hair and clear green eyes that resemble the color of healthy, watered grass on a hot summer day.

Peeta is shorter than Peter, broad shoulders, with blond hair and sky blue eyes that twinkle like a diamond in the sun.

Peter starts jumping around a little in the ring. Peeta tries to kick him but Peter catches his foot and pulls him off balance.

Peeta hits the floor with a loud thud but gets right back up.

"Come on baker boy, I know you can do better than that," Peter says

Baker boy? What is Peter talking about?

Peeta punches Peter in the jaw and then grabs his neck and pulls Peter's face down to connect with his knee.

Peter falls on the ground and he holds his nose. I hear him swear and then he gets back up, regardless of the blood flowing from his nose.

Peter runs toward Peeta. Peeta ducks, grabs Peter's legs and then flips him over his shoulder like he didn't weigh a pound.

Peeta is _strong._

Peter falls to the ground and you can tell the impact knocked the wind out of him since he's desperately gasping for air.

Once he catches his breath, he stands back up. Instead of being still, Peter is all wobbly and unbalanced. You would think he was drunk. Now all Peeta has to do is deliver the final blow.

That's exactly what he does.

Peeta does a spin kick and I see his foot connect with Peter's jaw.

Peter falls to the ground. _Unconscious_.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry it took me longer than usual to update. I recently bought the most amazing books that I simply couldn't put down. (One of which being _The Fault In Our Stars_ by John Green. An amazing book really. You should read it if you haven't.) Enjoy the chapter and sorry if it's not up to par, I was kind of distracted while writing it.**

* * *

After training is over, we all make our way to the dining hall. Christina walks up next to me.

"You and your boyfriend won today," She says.

"He's not my boyfriend, but yes I know," I reply

She laughs "So what's going to happen when you have to face each other? I mean, since both of you are on top; it only makes sense for you two to dual next."

I haven't thought of that. Peeta's strong, but I'm fast. I don't know what's worth more, strength or speed. Us fighting would probably be a really good fight, which is why it's more likely to happen.

"I don't know," I say. "I guess I'll fight that battle when the time comes."

"Katniss." I hear somebody call from behind me. I turn around and see Four gesturing me towards him.

"You can go without me." I tell Christina

I walk up to Four. He's looking to the side, like he's trying not to make eye contact with me.

"You did exceptionally well today." He says still looking off to the side.

"Yeah, thanks, I know."

"A little too well for a beginner."

"Peeta did well too; I don't see him over here."

"That's because Peeta used moves I actually taught." He snaps, making full on eye contact now.

I can't help but get lost in his eyes. I hate how easily he can distract me; just by looking at me he can put me in a full on daze. That's a weakness. A weakness I have to be sure to overcome.

"I, um, I-"I stammer.

He touches my cheek and he pulls a little closer. We're so close. Every breath he takes is every breath I take.

He takes his hand off my cheek and a look of regret appears on his face. He looks down to the ground.

"Just be careful, Katniss." He says quietly then walks off toward the dining hall.

As soon as he's gone I start to breathe again. I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath. I touch my hand over my heart. It's racing.

No one's ever had this effect on me before.

* * *

The next day, we all stand in the training center for another day of fighting. I look at the board to see who my opponent is. The space next to my name is blank.

I look over at Four who is leaning against the wall, eyes trained on the floor. Did he do this on purpose? Does he think I'm weak and can't handle myself? Is that why he told me to be careful?

I thought I proved how strong I was, yesterday. Was that not enough? I feel heat rush into my cheeks as I'm flushed with anger.

Four looks up from the floor and looks dead at me. I feel as though he's not looking at me, but _through_ me. My angry emotions begin to ebb.

"Oh no," I hear Christina say. "They're really going to make _you_ fight _him_?"

I turn around to see her. She's talking to Tris.

I look up at the board. Next to Tris's name is written Peter.

_Oh no. _Peter's going to kill her.

Peeta and Molly are fighting in the ring. I'm not really paying attention but I can see Peeta is winning.

I look over at Tris. She looks paler than usual. She must be petrified. Last night Peter spray painted all over her bed the word "Stiff."

He really is a twit. One part of me wants Tris to destroy him. Another part of me knows that's not going to happen.

Peeta steps out of the ring. He's bleeding a little by his mouth but he looks fine other than that.

Molly lays on the ground in the ring, not moving.

I volunteer to take her to the infirmary, not wanting to see the fight that's coming next.

I wrap her arms around my neck and we walk out into the hallway. We walk in silence for a few minutes.

"Get off of me. I don't need your help." Molly yanks her arm from around my neck and scowls at me. She begins limping toward the infirmary. She takes a few steps then falls to the ground.

I walk over to her and hover over her body. I let out a chuckle.

"Just let me help you." I offer her my hand but she smacks it away.

"Fine." I say and begin to walk back to the training room.

I look back and she's still lying on the floor, helpless. I wish I didn't care, but I can't seem to stop pitying her. I turn around and walk past her body toward the infirmary.

I see a nurse and I walk over to her.

"There's and initiate lying in the hallway. I tried to help her but she refused…so." The nurse runs out of the room, in the direction of Molly's body.

I turn and walk in the other direction towards the water fountain. I'm not fighting today so I'm in no rush to get back to the training room.

I see the water fountain I few feet away. I see someone drinking from it. Peeta.

He senses me and looks up.

"Hey," he says, wiping his mouth

"Hello." I say.

We stand awkwardly for a few moments.

"You're Katniss right?" He says with a genuine smile. I nod

"You did great yesterday." He says

"Thanks. You did great yesterday too… and today." I say

His smile fades a little.

"Yeah, I guess. It's hard; beating up innocent people."

"I guess so, but it's what we have to do to pass initiation." I say

"It doesn't seem right though: beating people unconscious just for Four and Eric's entertainment."

"I don't think that's the point."

"Maybe not, but that's what it seems like. The smug look on Eric's face as he watches us fight. I just want to show them that they don't own me. If I'm going to be Dauntless, I want to still be me. I don't want to have to change who I am." He says

I stare into his beautiful eyes for a moment.

"Yeah I know. I guess I just can't afford to think like that." I reply. I take a sip of water from the fountain and then turn towards Peeta.

"See you around." I say and then walk off.

I don't get what he was saying, exactly. _I want to still be me. _His voice echoes in my head. You can't still be you. You're Dauntless now. You have to leave your old life style behind. You're a different person with different values. You _can't_ still be you.

* * *

I hear the roar of the wind coming from outside of the train. The breeze sends my hair flying.

We woke up late this morning and had to rush to the train for a field trip. I didn't have time to braid my hair down my back.

I stand off to the side, by myself, leaning on the train wall. Four said we're going to visit the fence. The fence is guarded by Dauntless members.

Nobody is sure what lies beyond the fence, or why it's so important for us to stay in the city. No one has questioned it though; at least not out loud.

"Hey Katniss." I look to my side to find Peter standing there.

I let out a sigh, not caring if he hears me or not.

"Hello Peter." I say, not making eye contact with him.

"Oh don't tell me you're mad that I hurt your little stiff friend. Get over it, it's not like I had a choice." He says.

I hadn't even seen the fight. After talking to Peeta I went back to the dorm and took a nap. I didn't see Tris at all.

I search the train car for her. My eyes fall on her and I can see that she's bruised pretty badly and has a black eye. I look up at Peter.

"But if you did you still probably would have made the same decision to hurt her." I say

A smug grin spreads across his face. How can a person who looks so innocent be so deceptive. I look at him with disgust and make my way over to Tris.

"Are you okay Tris? I'm sorry I didn't come ask you yesterday. Things have been on my mind." I say to her.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine," She says. "And it's okay. I spent the night in the infirmary so that's probably why you didn't see me."

She tries to be strong but it's obvious that she's in pain. She doesn't want people to look down upon her because she's small or because she's constantly bullied by Peter.

I hug her gently enough so I don't hurt any sore bones she might have.

The train's brakes squeal and car slows. The train stops under an awning and we all exit the car. We're standing on a field of grass. In front of us is the fence. It is chain-linked with barbed wire at the top.

"Follow me," says Four.

I start to follow him with Tris and Christina next to me.

Four leads us toward the gate.

"If you don't rank in the top five at the end of initiation, you will probably end up here," Says Four. "Once you are a fence guard, there is some potential for advancement, but not much. You may be able to go on patrols beyond Amity farms, but-"

"Patrols for what purpose?" Will asks

"I suppose you'll discover that if you find yourself among them. As I was saying. For the most part, those who guard the fence when they are young continue to guard the fence. If it comforts you, some of them insist that it isn't as bad as it seems."

"What rank were you?" Peter asks Four

I don't expect Four to answer, but he looks at Peter and says "I was first."

"And you chose to do _this_? Why didn't you get a government job?"

"I didn't want one," Four simply states.

On the first day, Four said he worked in the control room. I don't see why he would want to work there instead of for the government. I guess he just likes computers.

The Dauntless have a limited amount of jobs. We can guard the fence, work for the security of our city, work in the Dauntless compound, drawing tattoos or making weapons. We can work for the Dauntless leaders or fight for entertainment.

I think the latter might work for me. Or I can work for the Dauntless leaders.

We stop next to the gate. A few of the Dauntless guards look at us but they quickly turn away. They pull open the doors to admit an Amity truck.

The Dauntless guards begin to check the Amity truck.

Four makes his way over to me.

"You disappeared yesterday during training. Where did you go?" He asks

"Does it matter?" I glare at him.

"When you intentionally skip a class that could determine your future in Dauntless, yes, it does matter." He glares back at me. "Where did you go?"

I don't have to tell him where I went. The fact I skipped is his concern; why I did it is irrelevant.

"I'm sorry for skipping. I wasn't fighting so I didn't think it would matter." I say

"You're purposely avoiding my question," he says. "And while you were ditching, you could have spent the time studying your future opponents for weaknesses as they fought."

"Yeah, well-"I start.

"Be smart, Katniss," He says quietly. He lowers his eyes so they're level with mine and he stares intensely. "I know you are."


	8. Chapter 8

So far Peter has won all of his fights except for that one fight with Peeta. Peeta hasn't lost once and neither have I, yet.

I stand against the wall in the training room, arms crossed, staring down at my boots. I'll have to fight Peter today.

I wouldn't say I'm scared, even though I'm not that confident I'm going to win.

Looking over at Tris gives me bubbles in my stomach.

_Come on Katniss, you're Dauntless now. No fear, no fear, no fear_.

I look over at Peter. My stomach drops again.

"Katniss and Peter," Four says.

I take a deep breath and put my hands in my pockets so no one can see them shaking.

Peter and I stand face to face in the ring. His arms and knees are bent like he's ready to attack.

"Let's hurry up and get this over with, Everdeen," he says.

I stand there, unmoving, unblinking, waiting for him to make the first move.

His fist connects with my jaw and I stumble backwards.

What was that? How did I not see that coming? I see his next attack, though.

He charges toward me and swings his foot up near my face. I duck and upper cut him.

He falls on the ground but springs right back up. He tries to kick me again but this time when I duck his other foot comes up and hits me in the face.

My head hits the floor, hard. My vision goes dark for a second. I can tell the impact is going to throw me off.

I stand up and swing at what I think is his head but my fist doesn't connect with anything. Instead, Peter grabs my wrist and pulls me to the ground.

I put my hands out so I don't land on my face. Peter kicks me in my side.

I lay there, the wind knocked out of me, vision blurred, ready to give up.

_I lay there, the wind knocked out of me, vision blurred, ready to give up._

"_That's it Gale! I quit! I'm not doing this anymore!" I snap._

"_Come on Catnip, when you fall down you just got to get right back up," Gale says, offering me his hand._

"_This is stupid. I should be inside studying, not out here fighting with you," I say, wiping grass off of my jeans._

"_Catnip," He takes my face in his hands," I know being knocked down isn't going to stop you. You're strong, act like it. When someone pushes you down don't let them keep you there. You're better than that." He kisses my forehead._

I'm better than this.

I stand up and face Peter. I have to try and beat him.

"Why don't you just stay down, Everdeen?" He says with a smug grin.

His foot is flying near my face. I take a step back. He swings his right fist towards my nose. Another step back. He swings his left fist towards my eye. Another step back.

My back is up against the ropes that surround the ring. Peter is right in front of me. I launch my leg into the air and it connects with his chin.

He falls on the floor and just when I'm about to kick him he grabs my foot and slings me to the ground with him.

He stands up and kicks me in the side. And then he kicks me in the head.

Everything blacks out.

* * *

I wake up in the infirmary. Christina is sitting on the edge of my bed.

"You're awake!" She hugs me. My head is throbbing and my throat is dry.

"How did I get here?" I croak.

"Will carried you. He and Tris were here earlier but they went to dinner." She says

"Why aren't you at dinner?" I ask

"I wasn't really hungry so I decided to stay here until you woke up. How do you feel? Peter kicked you pretty hard."

"I'm okay. My throat is a little dry." I reply

"Oh. I'll go get you a glass of water." She says.

Once she leaves the room I close my eyes. How did I lose that fight? It's like fear shut me down completely. It made me weak and as a result I got punished. I can't let this happen again.

"Katniss?" I hear someone whisper

I open my eyes to find Peeta standing by the door.

"Hey." I say.

He sits down on the edge of my bed. "How are you feeling?" He asks.

"I'm fine." I say.

"It was a real punk move for him to kick you in the head like that." He says

"I know. That's Peter for you: when you're at your weakest point, he takes advantage."

We sit there for a few moments. All I hear is our breathing.

"Visiting day is coming up. Do you think your family is going to come?" Peeta says

"I'm not sure. I know my sister would want to but I don't know if my mom would." I say

"What about your dad?" he asks

"He's dead."

"Oh… I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's not your fault. Is your family going to come?"

"Doubt it. My mother's a witch. She was probably overjoyed when I transferred. My dad would probably want to come, and my brothers."

"Oh." I say

"Yeah," He stares right into my eyes for what seems like forever.

"It's amazing how beautiful you look, even when you're injured," he smiles and I see that familiar twinkle in his blue eyes.

I feel heat rushing into my cheeks. He laughs a little at my blush.

"Well, I should probably be making it back to the dining hall." He says.

"Okay. Thanks for coming." I smile at him

He takes my hand and presses his lips to it. He smiles back at me, and then walks out. Just as he leaves, Christina walks in with a glass of water.

"What did he do to get that goofy smile on your face?" She asks, setting the water down next to my bed.

"Oh, Nothing." I say

"Mhm. You know, I was a little surprised when he transferred to Dauntless."

"Why is that?"

"Because, he always seemed a little sensitive to me. He's a baker. They have sensitive baker issues." She laughs.

He's a baker? That explains why Peter called him baker boy that day.

She continues, "And he's always so nice. He always has a smile on his face. I didn't see why he would want to transfer to Dauntless but now I know he's pretty strong."

I take a sip of my water. "I know. He hasn't lost a fight yet."

"He also seems to like you." Christina says, smiling from ear to ear.

"How do you suppose that?"

"I see the way he looks at you."

"He doesn't look at me."

"Of course you don't see it, but I see it."

"Interesting," I say

"Do you like him?" she asks

"I don't like anyone right now. I'm just trying to focus on passing initiation." I reply.

* * *

I'm lying in my bed in the dormitory. Today when I was in the ring, lying on the floor, a memory of Gale flashed into my mind. I never realized how much I missed him. He motivated me to do a lot of things, even before we chose to go to Dauntless.

Just as I close my eyes, the door to the dormitory opens and people with flashlights storm in.

"Everybody up!" Eric shouts

Surrounding him are other Dauntless. Four stands among them. His eyes shift to mine.

I slide from under my blankets and stand up in a crop top and underwear. I feel my cheeks getting warm. Four breaks eye contact.

"You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us by the tracks," says Eric. "We're going on another field trip."

I quickly get dressed and sprint to the train tracks. The exertion makes my side hurt a little.

We make it to the tracks just behind the Dauntless-born initiates. Next to the tracks is a pile of gun barrels.

"Are we going to shoot something?" Christina whispers in my ear

Next to the pile are boxes with "Paintballs" written on them

"Everyone grab a gun!" Eric shouts

Everyone rushes to the pile. I grab the first gun on the top of the stack and grab a box of paintballs.

"Time estimate?" Eric asks Four.

Four checks his watch. "Any minute now. How long is it going to take you to memorize the train schedule?"

"Why should I, when I have you to remind me of it?" Eric says, shoving Four's shoulder.

The train is approaching. Four is the first to get on the train.

Once we are all on, he speaks up. "We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will have an even mix of members, Dauntless-born and transfers. One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same. This is Dauntless tradition, so I suggest you take it seriously.

"Four and I will be your team captains," Eric says. "Let's divide up transfers first, shall we?"

I get a pit in my stomach. I really don't want to be on Eric's team. I can imagine what that would be like.

"You go first," Four says.

Eric shrugs. "Peter."

Four leans on the train wall and his eyes scan the car. They fall on me."Katniss."

"Molly"

"Will"

"Al"

"Christina"

"Drew"

"Peeta"

"Last one left is Tris. So she's with me," says Eric. "Dauntless born next."

Once they finish choosing teams, Eric smirks at Four. "Your team can get off second," says Eric.

"Don't do me any favors. You know I don't need them to win." Four says, smiling a little.

"No. I know that you'll lose no matter when you get off. Take your team and get off first."

When the train is about to dip into the ground, I jump off. I land on my feet for the first time.

One of the Dauntless- born taps Four's shoulder and asks, "When your team won, where did you put the flag?"

"Telling you wouldn't really be in the spirit of the exercise, Marlene," he says. "Come on Four," she says, giving him a flirtatious smile. He brushes her hand off his arm and I let out a small laugh.

Marlene glares at me.

"Navy pier," another Dauntless-born calls out. "My brother was on the winning team. They kept the flag at the carousel."

"Let's go there, then," suggest Will.

We walk toward the marsh that was once a lake, and cross the bridge. A Strip of land juts out from the marsh. Rising from it is a giant white Ferris wheel and a carousel.

When we reach the carousel, Four takes the flag out of his pocket. "In ten minutes, the other team will pick their location. I suggest you take this time to formulate a strategy. We may not be Erudite but mental preparedness is one aspect of your Dauntless training."

Will takes the flag from Four. "Some people should stay here and guard, and some people should go out and scout the other team's location."

"Yeah, you think?" Marlene takes the flag from Will's fingers. "Who put you in charge, transfer?"

"No one, but someone's got to do it." Will says

"Maybe we should develop a more defensive strategy. Wait for them to come to us, then take them out," suggests Christina

"That's the sissy way out. I vote we go all out. Hide the flag well enough that they can't find it." Uriah, a Dauntless-born says.

Everyone burst into conversation at once; everyone trying to be louder than the person next to them. Everyone argues about who should make the decision.

I walk over to the carousel and take a seat on one of the plastic horses, trying to formulate a plan.

We need to know where the other team is hiding, but how do we do that with buildings in front of us? I turn around and look at the Ferris Wheel. If I could get high enough maybe I can look over them.

Climbing it isn't a logical option in my condition. I'm not one hundred percent healed and the risk of falling is too great. Maybe if I turned it on, I could sit in one of the cars and it would take me to the top so I could look. But that would give away our location.

Would it matter, though, once I know the other team's hideout?

"Looks like you're deep in thought."

I look to my side to find Peeta sitting next to me.

"Yeah. Just wondering how we could find out where Eric's team is hiding their flag." I say

"Any ideas?"

"Well, yeah. I was thinking someone could ride to the top of the Ferris wheel and peer over the buildings and see if they see anything."

"Turning it on could give us away," he says

"I know."

He stares at the ground for a few seconds, thinking.

"Well, it's worth a shot. Let's go tell the others," he says. We both get up and walk over to the group of initiates arguing.

"Hey," Peeta says. They're still arguing. "Hey," he says again. Still arguing.

"HEY!" He shouts. They stop arguing and face us. "Thank you."

"While you all were arguing, Katniss," he gestures at me when he says Katniss, "has come up with a plan to locate the other team's flag."

"Well what is it?" Uriah asks, focusing his attention on me. They all focus their attention on me.

_Uh oh._ I'm not good at speaking in front of people. I feel beads of sweat on my forehead.

"Well," I start. Once I start, the words begin pouring out of my mouth. " I was thinking that someone could ride to the top of the Ferris wheel and look over the buildings and see if they see where the other team is."

"Turning on the Ferris wheel will give away our location." Marlene scowls at me. "Did you think of that smartness?"

"Actually I did," I retort. "I don't think it will matter once we know where they are. It will take them a second to find out that since the Ferris wheel's moving that's where we are. By then we could already be on our way to take their flag."

"I don't like it. It's too risky. And how do you even know the Ferris wheel works?" Marlene asks, scowl still on her face.

"I don't. It's just an idea, but if you have a better one," I step back, opening my arms; gesturing to the open space. "Then the floor is all yours," I say.

"I think it's a great plan," Uriah says to Marlene. "Who is going to ride to the top?"

"Katniss and I will," Peeta says.

* * *

Peeta and I sit in a seat on the Ferris wheel together. Four is in the control booth, ready to turn it on.

"You know, this is like one of those dates where a couple is on the Ferris wheel and they get stuck at the top," Peeta says.

The Ferris wheel starts.

"Yeah, except, we're not getting stuck, and this isn't a date," I reply.

He laughs. In no time, we're at the top and the Ferris wheel stops.

"What do you see?" Christina yells from the bottom.

We're high enough to see the skyline. Beneath the buildings, the streets look like tunnels. For a few seconds, I see a dark blanket over the land, and then the scene comes into focus. I see a tiny pulsing light on the ground.

"It's at the park at the end of the pier," Peeta calls down.

All the initiates on the ground disperse and Four starts the wheel again. Once Peeta and I are on the ground, Four walks over to us.

"Great job guys." He's talking to both of us but he's only looking at me. "The only Erudite smart enough to come up with a plan."

"Thanks," I say

We hear whoops and shouts coming from the other end of the park. They're not regular shouts; they're shouts of victory.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning we stand in the training room facing a target at the other end of the room. Next to the door is a table with knives on it.

Eric stands in the middle of the room looking more vicious than normal. "Tomorrow will be the last day of stage one. You will resume fighting then. Today, you'll be learning how to aim. Everyone pick up their knives. And pay attention when Four demonstrates the correct technique for throwing them.

At first no one moves.

"Now!"

We all scramble for the knives. I hold my finger on the tip of the blade and apply pressure. Not enough to cut me. I get a little antsy as I hold the knife. I need to calm down. An old memory surfaces. _Come on Katniss. He's not here. He can't hurt you anymore. You're in Dauntless. You're safe._

I run my finger down the sharp blade. The damage this thing can do.

"He's in a bad mood today," Christina says.

"Nothing new." I reply

Eric shoots Four deadly glares when he isn't paying attention. Losing capture the flag must have hurt his pride, and pride is important to the Dauntless.

Four stands tall in front of the board. He hits the target each time, exhaling as he releases the knife.

Eric orders, "Line up!"

I feel my breathing getting faster. It will soon turn into hyperventilation. I _need_ to shake this memory. I do what the doctors in Erudite told me to do whenever I feel a panic attack coming on.

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am sixteen years old. I am a Dauntless Initiate. I cannot be harmed by him here. Here it is safe. Here it is free._

My breathing slows.

I twirl the knife in my shaking hands before I throw it. When I do it flips through the air and bounces off the wall. Nowhere near the target.

A half an hour later, I'm the only person who still hasn't hit the target. I have, yet again, let fear get the best of me.

Eric marches toward me and demands, "How slow _are_ you, Erudite? Do you need glasses? Should I move the target closer to you?" I feel my cheeks heating up.

I grab another knife and throw it. It sails toward the target but it falls short about 3 feet.

"What was that, initiate?" Eric says quietly.

"I, um, I don't know." I stammer.

"I think you should go get it." Eric says. He scans the other initiates' faces-everyone has stopped throwing- and says "Did I tell you to stop."

Knives begin to hit the board again. "Everyone is still throwing." I say

"And?"

"I don't want to get hit."

"I think you can trust your fellow initiates to aim better than you. Go get your knife."

"No." I retort

"Why not? Are you afraid?

"I'm just not in the mood to be impaled by an airborne knife."

"Everyone stop!" Eric shouts.

The knives stop, and so does all conversation. "Clear out of the ring. All except you, Katniss." Eric points at me.

He wants me to be afraid of him. He still thinks I'm a prudish little Erudite girl who doesn't belong in Dauntless. I never was her. I'm not her now.

"Stand in front of the target," says Eric.

I make my way over to the target with my head held high; ready for anything Eric's going to do.

"Hey Four," Eric looks over his shoulder. "Give me a hand here, huh?"

Four scratches one of his eyebrows with a knife point and approaches Eric.

"You're going to stand there as he throws those knives," Eric says to me, "until you learn not to flinch."

I cross my arms over my chest and put on a face of indifference.

"Is this really necessary?" Says Four. He sounds bored, but his face and body are alert.

Eric stares at Four for a moment before saying "I have the authority here, remember? Here and everywhere else."

Color rushes into Four's face but his expression is the same. Four turns to face me and the target. He's holding the knives so tightly, his knuckles turn white.

"No, stop!"

Peeta steps forward.

"Peeta it's okay. I can handle this." I assure him

"No, you shouldn't have to. What is throwing knives at her head going to prove except that you're a bully? Which as, I recall, is the same thing as a coward."

Four narrows his eyes. He looks from Peeta, to me, and then back to Peeta. An expression plasters his face. I'm not sure what that expression is.

"Then it should be easy for you," Eric says, "if you're willing to take her place."

Peeta weaves through the crowd of initiates and walks toward me. He's now inches away from me.

"Peeta, you don't have to do this." I whisper to him

"Yes I do, you shouldn't have to." He whispers back.

He stands in front of the target and I make my way back toward the crowd of initiates. Why is he doing this? He doesn't owe me anything. I haven't done anything for him. Why would he feel the need to take my place? Does he think I'm weak?

Peeta stands in front of the target, tense and unmoving.

"If you flinch, Katniss takes your place." Four says. Four lifts his hand and throws the knife with a flick of his wrist. It lands half a foot away from Peeta's cheek. He must have been holding his breath, because when he sees the knife he starts to breathe again.

Four shifts one of the knives in his left hand to his right. The second knife hits the target above Peeta's head.

The last knife shifts from Four's left hand to his right. Four turns his head and looks at me for a second, as if he's studying my expression. He turns around with a disappointed look on his face. The last knife lands centimeters away from his ear.

"I would love to stay and see if the rest of you are as daring as he is, but I think that enough for today," Eric says. He squeezes Peeta's shoulder.

We all exit the training room and walk toward the dining hall. I grab Peeta's hand and take him in the opposite direction of the other initiates. We stop in the middle of an empty hallway and I push him up against the wall.

"Why did you do that?" I ask

"I didn't want him to throw knives at you, Katniss." He says

"Why do you care? It had nothing to do with you. You made me look weak." I say

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't want him to hurt you because I care about you. I didn't mean to make you look weak or anything. I just didn't want to see you in the infirmary again". He tucks a lock of hair behind my ears. "Even worse: Eric being the reason you're there."

Maybe I'm over reacting. He was, after all, just looking out for me.

"Sorry I pushed you." I say

He laughs. "Its okay, Katniss."

I told Peeta I would see him in the lunch room. I needed a little walk to register what he said to me_. I didn't want him to hurt you because I care about you. _Could Christina be right? Does he like me? What do I do if he does? Do I like him back?

No. I don't. I didn't come here to flirt with some silly Candor boy. I need to focus. Today, I couldn't throw that knife right if my life depended on it. Is it possible that a mere memory can affect your physical ability to do something?

"Katniss."

I turn around to see Four.

"Hi." I say.

"You got lucky today." He says

"Oh?"

"Yes. Why couldn't you throw that knife correctly?"

I look away from him. "I don't… I don't know."

"You looked like you didn't even want to hold it; like you were disgusted with it." He steps closer to me.

I feel heat in the back of my eyes. The tears start to blur my vision.

"Katniss, what happened? What's wrong?" He takes my hand.

I'm fighting the tears back as hard as I can. I can't look like this to him. He has to know I'm strong.

I yank my hand back. "I can't." I run toward the dormitory before the tears spill out of my eyes.

* * *

Today is visiting day. Everyone dresses in silence. I wear a dress that Christina suggested to me. It's a strapless bustier and it's fluffy at the bottom. I wear black army boots to top it off. I decide to wear my hair down today. I hope my family realizes I'm truly Dauntless.

Molly wobbles across the room. Her nose is bandaged up. Yesterday, Tris beat her up pretty badly during training. Obviously Molly had done something to provoke her. Eric walks in.

"Attention! I want to give you some advice about today. If by some miracle, your families do come to visit you…" He scans our faces and smirks. "… Which I doubt, it is best not to seem too attached. That will make it easier for you and them. We also take the phrase 'faction before blood' very seriously here. Attachment to your family suggests you aren't entirely pleased with your faction, which would be _shameful. _Understand?

We all walk out into the hallway and start walking towards the pit. Christina and Will are in front of me, laughing and playing around.

The dress I'm wearing exposes the top of my back, so my family will be able to see my tattoo. I stop just before the hallway ends.

I see clusters of families all over the pit floor. I spot Drew and Molly standing alone at one end of the room. Their families didn't come, but Peter's did. His dad is tall and burly with bushy eyebrows and his mom is short with red hair. Both of them wear black pants and white shirts, Candor attire.

Will stands with his sister. She's blond, like him.

Christina hugs a dark-skinned woman in black and white. Standing behind her is her younger sister.

Then I see them. My mother and sister stand near the railing, scanning the crowd. Prim's shirt tail is sticking out, like always. I walk toward them. I'm halfway there when Prim spots me and starts running toward me.

"Katniss!" She jumps in my arms and I lift her up.

"Hey little duck!" I kiss her forehead. "I missed you."

"Hello Katniss," My mother says. I set Primrose down and give mom a hug. "Hey mom." She kisses my cheek and runs her hand over my hair. "Look at you."

"You look pretty," Prim says. "I wish I looked like you."

"Oh no, I wish I looked like you. Tuck your tail in little duck."

"How is it here? Tell me how you are." Mom says

"It's great. I'm fine. I made friends." I say, gesturing to Christina and Tris.

An Abnegation? Wow."

"I know right. She fits in though. How have things been at home?"

"Lonely without you." Prim says. "Aw. You'll get use to it. You both don't need me around." I say.

Standing alone at the railing is Four. Though he's not an initiate, most of the Dauntless use this day to come together with their families.

"There's one of my instructors." I tell them

"Oh my, He's cute," Primrose says.

"Don't get any ideas, little duck, he's kind of intimidating." Just as I say that, he looks over his shoulder. My mom offers him her hand.

"Hello. I'm Emily, Katniss's mother." Four shakes her hand twice. "And this is my daughter Primrose."

"Four. It's nice to meet you," he says.

"Is that a nickname?" Prim asks.

"Yes." He doesn't elaborate. "Katniss is doing well here. I've been overseeing her training."

"That's excellent. I was worried she would be to…Erudite," mom says.

"Really?" I say

"I knew she would make it," Prim says, smiling. I smile back.

"You shouldn't worry," Four says. "Well, I'll leave you to the rest of your reunion"

We all watch him leave, and I get to spend the rest of the day with my family.


	10. Chapter 10

My mother was angry when she found out I got a tattoo. When I told her what it meant, she finally shut up. I got the fire symbol. People will probably mistake it for the Dauntless symbol, but it's to remind me of the story my father always told.

Tonight the rankings of stage one will be posted. Peeta is going to be first since he didn't lose one fight. I might come in second or third. What worries me is stage two. Four said it was primarily mental and I'm not very mentally stable.

_Divergent: _probably another factor of my mental instability. I had aptitude for Erudite and Dauntless. According to Isaac, the Abnegation who tested me, that wasn't good. I figured it was because I did something erratic.

The man who is the cause of my erratia is far away and I will probably never see him again. But his presence still haunts my nightmares like he never left.

Some of the initiates are on the way to the dormitory, where Four will be posting the rankings. Everyone's walking in silence; pondering if their abilities were sufficient to proceed to stage two.

When we arrive at the dormitory, Four is leaning against the wall with a blackboard leaning against his legs, facing away from us.

"For those of you who just came in, I'm explaining how the ranks are determined," he says. "After the first round of fights, we ranked you according to your skill level. The second number of points you earn depends on your skill level and the skill level of the person you beat. You earn more points for improving and more points for beating someone of a high skill level. I don't reward preying on the weak. That is cowardice."

"If you have a high rank, you lose points for losing to a low-ranked opponent," he continues.

Molly lets out an unpleasant noise.

"Stage two of training is weighted more heavily than stage one, because it is more closely tied to overcoming cowardice," he says.

Oh no. I am _screwed._

"That said, it is extremely difficult to rank high at the end of initiation if you rank low in stage one. We will announce cuts tomorrow," Four says. "The fact that you are transfers and the Dauntless-born initiates are not will not be taken into consideration. Four of you could be factionless and none of them. Or Four of them and none of you. Or any combination thereof. That said, here are your ranks."

He hangs the board on the hook and steps back so we can see the rankings:

1. Peeta

2. Peter

3. Katniss

4. Will

5. Christina

6. Molly

7. Tris

8. Drew

9. Al

I'm not at all surprised by the results of the rankings. I suspected as much. Al and Drew are probably going to be factionless, if some of the Dauntless-born didn't well.

There's an eerie silence in the room for a few seconds, then Molly starts yelling.

"What?" She points at Christina. "I beat her! I beat her in minutes, and she's ranked above me?"

"Yeah," says Christina, crossing her arms. She wears a smug smile. "And?"

"If you intend to secure yourself a high rank, I suggest you don't make a habit of losing to low-ranked opponents," says Four, he leaves the room.

"You," she says, narrowing her eyes at Tris. "You are going to pay for this." She turns on her heels and walks out.

Will and Christina slap hands and then walk over to me.

"Look at you. Number three," Will says.

"Look at you. Number Four," I say back.

He laughs. "We should go out and celebrate."

"Well, let's go, then." Christina says, grabbing my arm with one hand and Will's with the other.

* * *

Its late afternoon. Peeta and I are on a roof together, alone. I lie with my head in his lap, making a crown of flowers while he fiddles with my hair, claiming he's practicing his knots. After awhile, his hands go still.

"What?" I ask

"I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever," he says.

"Okay," I reply

His fingers go back to my hair and I doze off, but he rouses me to see the sunset. It's a spectacular yellow and orange blaze behind the skyline. "I didn't think you'd want to miss it," he says.

"Thanks," I say

"Dude, what are you doing? Get off of me!" Peeta shouts, but his lips didn't move. The shout didn't come from the Peeta in front of me.

My eyes flutter open. I'm in my bed in the dormitory. My whole evening with Peeta was a dream. I feel a rush of disappointment. I look over and see Peeta on the ground. His shout must have woken up everyone in the dorm.

"What happened?" Will asks, helping Peeta off of the ground.

"Someone basically just attacked me. I think they tried to stab me in my sleep, but I wasn't asleep and I caught them before they did," Peeta explains.

"Who was it? Do you know?" asks Will.

"No, it was too dark to see their face."

I look across the dorm and see empty beds. Two of which belong to Peter and Drew. I'm not surprised. Peter couldn't have been satisfied with second place and Drew is his little lackey so he went along with the plan.

The Dauntless have rules about attacking people like that, but with Eric in charge, I doubt they will be enforced.

* * *

Al got cut yesterday. He and three of the Dauntless- born are factionless.

All of the initiates, the Dauntless-born and transfers, sit in a dark hallway. Uriah sits across from me, with Marlene on his left and a girl named Lynn on his right. Four said we will be training with the Dauntless-born from now on, and then he disappeared behind the closed door.

"So," Lynn says, "Which one of you is ranked first?"

"I am," Peeta says.

"Bet I could take you. I'm second, but I bet any of us could take you, transfer."

He laughs. "I wouldn't be too sure. Who's first?"

"Uriah," she says. "And I'm sure. You know how many years we've spent preparing for this?"

Four emerges from the closed door. "Lynn." He beckons her and she walks down the hallway.

"So you're first," Will says to Uriah.

"Yeah. And?"

"And you don't think it's a little unfair that you've spent your whole life preparing for this, and we're expected to learn it all in a few weeks?"

"Not really. Stage one was about skill, sure, but no one can prepare for stage two," he says, "so I'm told."

No one responds to that. We sit in silence for what seems like forever. Then the door opens and Four calls another name. "Peter."

Minutes go by and gradually our numbers begin to dwindle. It's just me, Drew and Uriah left. They're both fidgeting but I'm sitting perfectly still, pondering what awaits me on the other side of the door.

The door opens, and Four beckons me. "Come on, Katniss."

I stand and walk past the other initiates. Four touches my shoulder to guide me into the room and closes the door behind me.

In the room is a reclining metal chair. Beside it is a machine. The room has no mirrors and barely any light. There is a computer screen on a desk in the corner.

"Sit," Four says.

"So, what are we doing?" I ask.

"Ever hear the phrase 'face your fears'?" We're taking it literally. The simulation will teach you how to control your emotions in a frightening situation."

Face my fears? My fears are scarier than the average sixteen year olds. The simulation isn't real so I won't be harmed physically. I shouldn't be afraid, but I am.

"Will you be able to see my fear?" I ask

"Yes," he says, grabbing a needle from a box. "I have wires, so I can see what's going on, but for you, there's a tiny transmitter in this serum that sends data to the computer."

He brushes my braid to the other side of my head and eases the tip of the needle into my neck.

"The simulation will go into effect in sixty seconds. This simulation is different than the aptitude test," he says. "in addition to containing the transmitter, the serum stimulates the amygdala, which is the part of the brain involved in processing fear and then induces a hallucination. The brain's electrical activity is then transmitted to our computer, which then translates your hallucination into a simulate image that I can see and monitor. I will then forward the recording to Dauntless administrators. You stay in the hallucination until you calm down- that is, lower your heart rate and control your breathing."

He plants his hands on either side of my head and leans over me.

"Be brave, Katniss," he whispers. "The first time is always the hardest."

His eyes are the last thing I see.

* * *

I lie in a bed. My hands and feet our bound to the bed posts. There is duct tape on my mouth. I have on a satin pink nightgown that's soft on my skin. The room I'm in looks like a motel room. The walls are white and the carpet is dirty. On the wall in front of me is a white door. There is a window to the left of the room. Outside of it is a hallway and a parking lot with no cars in it. There's a light in the hall but it's flickering on and off.

Then I realize where I am.

He emerges from the white door, bottle in hand. Dirty blond chin length hair and gray eyes that bore into mine. "Well, sweetheart, it's about time you came to visit me."

I scream but it's muffled by the duct tape over my mouth. I'm thrashing my arms and legs, trying to get out of these restraints but to no avail.

"You might as well calm down. You're not going anywhere, anytime soon." He puts his bottle of liquor down on the night stand next to my bed, and opens a drawer. He pulls out a knife.

I start to scream again.

"Shh, shh, shh," He says, getting on top of me. "I'm not going to hurt you. This is only if I need it." He drags the knife blade down my cheek, but not with enough pressure to cut me.

"God, you haven't changed a bit. Always so pretty." I feel the warm tears running down my cheeks.

He kisses my cheek. Then my neck. I know what's going to happen. And I have a feeling Gale's not going to be here to rescue me this time.

He puts the tip of the knife under my chin and my head tilts up. He kisses the duct tape that covers my mouth. I close my eyes

"_You stay in the hallucination until you calm down,"_ Four's, words echo in my head. _"That is, lower your heart rate and control your breathing."_

"It's a shame your little boyfriend interrupted us last time," he says. "That won't happen this time." He begins to lift up my nightgown. I start to hyperventilate.

I'm able to lift my knee up a little bit, enough to knee him in his place. He drops the knife and curls into a fetal position. I begin to pull on my restraints again.

Once he regains his composure, he slaps me across the face. He picks the knife up off the floor and cuts me across the arm. Blood drips onto the bed and I let out a sob.

"Damn it, Katniss. I didn't want to have to do that." He begins to lift up my nightgown again. My heart is racing.

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am in a hallucination. If I don't calm down, I won't get out of this hallucination. Calm down Katniss._

My breathing slows.

* * *

I open my eyes and I'm sitting in the metal chair. I pull my knees to my chest and cry. A hand touches my shoulder and I recoil.

"Please don't touch me," I say.

Four bends down so he's level with me. "It's over, Katniss. It wasn't real," he says quietly.

"It was real, Four! It was _very _real!" I shout, standing up.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you." He pulls me into an embrace and I sob into his shirt. "I'm so sorry," he whispers. "It's never going to happen again, okay? I promise you."

We stand like that for a few minutes, and then I push away from him to wipe my face.

"Is that why you couldn't throw the knives correctly? Because of that fear?" he asks. I nod.

He doesn't say anything. He just stands there as I wipe the tears from my face.

Once I collect myself, I ask, "I bet I did pretty badly, right?"

"How long do you think you spent in that hallucination?"

"I don't know. Thirty minutes?"

"Five minutes," He says. "You got out three times faster than the other initiates. Tomorrow it will be better, you'll see." He touches my back and guides me out of the room, toward the dorm.

"Tomorrow? I don't want to do that again tomorrow," I say.

"It's not going to be the same fear, Katniss," he says.

"What's the point of all this?"

"Learning how to think in the midst of fear. That's what we're trying to teach you. Your fears are rarely what they appear to be in the simulation, but yours was."

"Is that bad?"

"It's interesting." We stop a few feet from the room.

"What was your first simulation?" I ask, half expecting him not to answer.

He leans against the wall. His thumbs hook around his belt hoops. "It wasn't a 'what' so much as a 'who.'" He shrugs. "It's not important."

"Are you over that fear?"

"Not yet. I may never be." I wonder who Four could be afraid of. The way he fights, and throws knives makes me wonder what anyone can do to be able to scare him. It must be pretty bad.

"So they don't go away?"

"Sometimes they do and sometimes new fears replace them." He slides his hands into his pockets. "But becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it, that's the point."

I nod. I understand what he's saying. Even though, in the real world if you come face to face with your fear, slowing your breathing isn't going to make it go away.

I smooth down my hair before going in.

"Well, I should go in. Thanks for walking me here."

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay," he says, smiling a little.

I lean in close to him, close enough to be breathing the same air, then I stop myself, realizing what I'm doing.

"Bye." I say, going into the dorm.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry if this chapter looks a bit rushed. It took me forever to write and I don't even know why! But I sort of had to do the scenes fast because i'm trying to hurry up and get to the actual PLOT of the story. Also, I might split this story into two because I have a feeling it's going to be long. I don't know if that's a good idea, though, or should i just leave this story as a long story. Opinions? Please help me. Lol. Anyway...**

* * *

I walk beside Will, coming from the tattoo parlor. Some of the other initiates we're making fun of Tris's old faction, so her, Will, Christina and I went on a walk to calm her down, and they ended up getting tattoos.

Christina also bought me and Tris clothes as another one of her makeover attempts.

Will and I walk behind Christina, who is giving Tris a piggyback ride.

"What was your fear today?" Will asks.

"An old memory," I say, not wanting to elaborate further. "You?"

"Too much acid." I don't want to know what that means.

I see Four standing by the chasm, a group of people around him. He laughs so hard he has to grab the railing for balance. Judging by the bottle in his hand and the brightness of his face, he's intoxicated.

"Uh-oh," says Will. "Instructor alert."

"Katniss!" Four calls out. Will and I exchange a look. Four pulls away from the railing and walks towards me. Tris slides off of Christina's back. There are four of us and Four is only talking to me.

"Hey," He says. His words are slurred.

"Um, hey. What are you doing?"

"Flirting with death." He laughs. "Drinking near the chasm. Probably not a good idea."

"I'll say."

He glances over his shoulder. "I'd ask you to hang out with us, but you're not supposed to see me this way."

"Drunk?" I ask

"Yeah… well, no. Real, I guess."

"Don't worry; I'll pretend I didn't see anything."

"Nice of you." He puts his lips near my ear and whispers, "You look good, Katniss."

I can feel myself blushing.

"And _you_ have had one drink too many, my friend. Stay away from the chasm, will you?"

"Of course." He winks at me and walks back to his friends. Christina and Tris walk over.

"What was _that _all about?" Tris asks.

"Oh, nothing. He was just drunk, that's all," I say.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing much. He didn't know what he was saying."

Will laughs. He was close enough to hear what Four said about me looking good.

I'm not going to put much thought into what he said. After all, he was drunk. He'll probably wake up tomorrow morning and not even remember the conversation. It was weird seeing him like that. Usually, he's rigid but just now he seemed like a different person. I guess there are two sides to him.

* * *

I'm in Darkness. The last thing I remember is Four's dark blue eyes and the metal chair.

I shake with anticipation of what heinous nightmare awaits me.

I stand in a crowd of initiates in front of the chasm. I see nothing but people's heads and the top of what looks like a glass box. The people in front of me are snickering and whispering to the person next to them. They're looking at something inside the box. I weave through the initiates muttering "Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me," every time I bump into someone.

When I get to the front of the crowd, I see what they were snickering about. In the glass box is a boy. The boy who taught me how to defend myself. The boy who saved me from a concupiscent middle-aged man. The boy who looks so much like me, people mistake him as my brother. My best friend. _Gale._

"Gale!" I run up to the glass box and bang on the glass. "Gale what are you doing in there?"

He's standing up with his hands on the glass. He looks disheveled, like he doesn't know what's going on. I put both of my hands up to meet his, as if I can feel him through the wall.

"Katniss?" he says. Four walks up beside me and knocks on the glass. He points down at Gale's feet. He stands in a half an inch of water. Four rejoins the crowd of initiates.

Gale pounds the glass wall with his fist. "Let me out of here!" The water is rising fast and it is now up to his ankles.

Gale and I are hitting the glass frantically. I turn around and look at the crowd. "Somebody help him! Why are you all just standing around?" I focus my attention back on Gale. The water is at his calves.

I can see the plea and desperation in his gray eyes. He leans his forehead on the glass with a look of defeat on his face. The water covers his thighs.

I'm not going to let my best friend drown right before my eyes. No, I can't. I hit the glass surface as hard as I can with my fist. I hear a cracking sound. There is a line in the glass. I look up at Gale and the water is up at his shoulders. I swing my foot up to kick where the crack is and drive another long crack through the glass. Gale is fully submerged in the water. He's floating up to the ceiling.

I'm going to need more force if I'm going to fully break this glass. I back up toward the crowd and run toward the glass with my shoulder out. The impact makes me fall back onto the ground. The pane shatters and water rushes over my head. I sit up and I'm in the metal chair again.

I touch my hand to my forehead. It seemed so real. Gale seemed so real. Four stands to my right, just looking at me.

"Um-," I start

"How did you do that?" He asks

"Do what?"

"Crack the glass."

"I don't know, I was just trying to get Gale out of there," I reply. Four turns his head away from me, with a remorseful expression on his face.

He looks at me again, but with that familiar look of rigidness. He grabs my elbow and leads me half way down the hall before I yank my arm back.

"What are you doing?" I demand.

"You're divergent."

Oh no. How could he possibly know of my mental imperfection? I must have slipped up. Said something wrong. He knows now so it doesn't matter. He was destined to find out I'm a train wreck anyway.

I cross my arms. "Yeah well, now you know I'm a crazy lunatic girl who is so messed up, she can't even take an aptitude test correctly."

He steps closer to me. His eyes search mine. "Katniss, do you even know what Divergent is?"

"Uh, yeah. Some brain imperfection or something."

He laughs a little. "Is that what they told you?" He leans in closer to me and says in a quiet voice. "Divergent is when your mind can't be confined to one faction. It's far from a brain imperfection."

The Abnegation who tested me told me it was best if I didn't tell anyone I'm Divergent. How would Four know about it? Could he be Divergent?

"I suspected it last time, but this time it's obvious. I'll delete the footage, but unless you want to wind up dead at the bottom of the chasm, you'll figure out a way to hide it during the simulations! Now if you'll excuse me." He walks back to the simulation room and slams the door behind him.

How will being Divergent cause me to end up dead at the bottom of the chasm? I wish he would give me more information. Judging by the way he stormed off, I won't be getting any answers anytime soon.

* * *

I stand at the railing overlooking the chasm, observing the way the cold water attacks the rocks and then retreats back, just to start the pattern all over again. My discussion with Four was five days ago. Since then my fears have featured the same people in them: Gale, My family, and Haymitch, the man from my first simulation.

After every simulation with Gale, I feel an ache of longing. I waited two years to see him and he isn't even here. I feel the tears welling up in the back of my eyes. I'll give myself five seconds of weakness to get over this, the rest of my time here I have to be strong.

_One._ I let the tears spill out of my eyes. _Two._ I take a seat on a bench by the wall. _Three_. I pull my knees to my chest. _Four._ I cry as hard as I need to. _Five._ I sit up and wipe my eyes on my sleeve, collecting myself.

"Katniss?" I look up and see Peeta. "Are you alright? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He sits down next to me.

"I'm fine Peeta. I just-"

"Are you sure? Katniss you can tell me." He looks at me with those breathtaking blue eyes that I seem to lose myself in.

"I'm fine, Peeta." I give him a smile to reassure him.

He looks at me for a moment before saying, "its okay, you don't have to tell me. I just want you to trust me, Katniss. It's okay to trust me."

Why does he care so much? I barely know him! He wants me to trust him, a boy I met just weeks ago.

"Is it really okay to trust you Peeta? It seems like you care about me, but I don't know why. The first conversation we had, we didn't really get each other. Why do you care so much about a girl you met at Dauntless who isn't anything like you?"

"I really wish I knew. It's crazy." He breaks eye contact to look at the chasm. "I couldn't stop thinking about you after that first talk we had. I couldn't understand why, but I guess it doesn't matter." He looks at me again, expectantly.

I don't feel the same way. How can I? I don't randomly like people I just meet. I look away from him. I see him nod out of the corner of my eye.

"Well, I hope we can still be friends," he says.

"That, I can do," I smile at him.

"How are you doing with the simulations?" He asks

"Better than expected. How about you?"

"Eh. Not as good as I want to. My fears are…unbearable. What are your fears like?"

I decide I'm going to trust Peeta. Or, learn to trust Peeta. I want to get to know the boy with the bread.

"One of my fears was, actually, the reason I was crying."

"What happened?"

"My fear was that I lost my best friend, and in a way, it's kind of a reality."

"They died?"

"No. It's a long a story."

"Oh. Well if you want to talk about it you can talk to me."

"I know."

"We should get back to the dormitory," he says, standing up.

* * *

When I get back to the dormitory, I see all the initiates standing in a group at the other end of the room. Eric is in front of them with a chalkboard in his hands facing away from us. I walk up next to Will.

"What's happening?" I ask

"Rankings for stage two."

"I thought there weren't any cuts after stage two."

"There aren't. It's just a progress report, sort of."

I nod. Eric lifts the board and hangs it above his head on a nail. When he steps aside, the room falls silent.

I am first.

I follow the rest of the list with my eyes. Tris and Peter are second and third, respectively. Peeta is sixth, Christina is seventh, and Will is eighth. Peter might be third, but the margin between he and Tris is wide. Peter's average simulation time is eight minutes. Tris' is two minutes, forty-five seconds. Mine is two minutes, thirty- three seconds. My time exceeds hers by only twelve minutes. Could Tris be Divergent too?

I look over at her. Everyone else is looking at her too. They must be surprised she's ranked number two. Should I ask Tris if she's Divergent? It might give away the fact that I am, but Tris couldn't possibly hurt me. I _need _to know more about this. I need to see if she can tell me more about this.

Just as I am about to go talk to her, Peter shoves her into a wall, a hand on each of her shoulders. "I will not be outranked by a stiff," he hisses. "How did you do it, huh? How the hell did you do it?" He pulls her forward and slams her back into the wall. She seems so helpless and feeble. I can't stand here and watch this.

I storm over to where they are, put both of my hands on Peter's chest, and shove him as hard as I can. He walks backwards a few steps.

"Lay off her!" I shout at him. Will walks up to us three.

"Only a coward bullies a little girl," Will says.

"A little girl? Are you blind, or just stupid? She's going to edge you out of the rankings and out of _Dauntless, _you're going to get nothing all because she knows how to manipulate people and you don't. So when you realize that she's out to ruin us all… Well, all except you," he looks me in the eyes, "miss Everdeen, because you seem to have your own back covered. Isn't that right, number one?" He looks at me with pure hatred, and then storms out of the dormitory. Molly and Drew follow him, looks of disgust on their faces.

"Thanks," Tris says to Will and me. I nod.

"Is he right?" Will asks quietly. "Are you trying to manipulate us?"

"How on Earth would I do that?" Tris scowls at him.

"I don't know, by acting weak so we pity you? And then acting tough to psyche us out?

"Don't be ridiculous, Will. Tris is our friend. You're really going to let Peter, of all people, get in your head like that?" I ask.

Will is silent. I can tell he's debating whether or not to trust Tris. I can see where he's coming from. Tris can act like a wounded gazelle but in reality, she is strong. Strong, but not deceitful.

"Don't be an idiot, Will," says Christina, climbing down from her bunk. She looks at Tris. "She's not acting." She turns and leaves and Will follows. I'm left alone in the room with Tris. I turn to face her. She looks hurt.

I hug her, "It's okay Tris, I know who you are."

"Thanks," she says, giving me a sad smile.

"I actually need to talk to you… later," I say.

"What about?"

"I can't tell you here." She looks at me questioningly.

It's dangerous enough that I'm even going to ask her about being Divergent. I can't risk anyone else knowing by making foolish decisions.

"We'll talk about it tonight," I say, walking out of the room.

* * *

My fingers run along the cold wall as I walk down the hall. I'm walking toward the drinking Fountain that has unconsciously become my refuge from the insanity which is the Dauntless compound.

As I draw closer, I see someone slumped on the bench near the fountain. Four.

"Hey," I say, walking up to him.

"Katniss." He nods his head but doesn't look at me.

"Is something wrong?" I ask

"No. Everything is fine." He rubs the back of his neck. He's lying.

In Erudite I studied the four other factions. I learned that in Candor, you were taught how to tell if a person is lying by reading their body language. I concluded that I should learn this technique because it might be useful in the future. I was right.

"You know, I can tell that you're lying." I take a sip of water from the fountain.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I can tell by your body language," I say sitting down next to him. "Whatever it is, you can tell me. You can trust me." I realize I sound like Peeta. Maybe I understand him more than I think I do.

"I really wish I could," he says, looking into my eyes.

"Well, why can't you?" His eyes fall on my lips.

"I will, soon," he says, eyes still on my lips. We sit in silence for a few moments. I stand up.

"Well, I should get going. I have to meet up with someone," I say

"Alright." I turn to go, but then Four says "Katniss?" I turn around to face him. He walks up to me and we're only inches away from each other. "You belong here, in Dauntless. You know that? It'll be over soon, so just hold on, okay?" He scratches his ear and looks away, like he's embarrassed by what he just said.

I feel an urge to close the space that separates us. But that space might be wider than I think, what, with him being the instructor and me being the student. I'm not sure that I care, though.

I lean in closer to him so there's even less space of what little space there was, and take his hand in mine. "Thanks," I say, then give his hand a little squeeze, "that means a lot." I release his hand and walk toward the dormitory.

* * *

Tris and I stand at the bottom of the path that leads out of the pit. All of the other initiates are asleep in the dorms. At night, the pit is dark and deserted. I wouldn't be all too thrilled to have stay in here alone.

"So?" Tris asks.

"I need you to tell me about being," I lower my voice. "Divergent."

Her eyes widen at the word 'Divergent'. "What are you talking about?"

"Tris, I know you're Divergent." She steps back a little. "Are you?" She asks me.

"Yes. That's why I need to know more about it, like, what does being Divergent have to do with the simulations." She sighs and looks up at the ceiling, as if she's forming a response.

"Among other things, we are people who are aware during simulations, that what we are experiencing is not real. People who can then manipulate the simulation or even shut it down. Since we are so special, and cannot be controlled, they want us gone…_dead._

"So, we're going to die?" I ask

"Not necessarily, they haven't discovered us. And if they do, they will kill us. Make no mistake about that, Katniss."

"Who can we-," I start. A hand covers my mouth and lifts me off of the ground. I'm kicking and screaming, trying to get out of this persons grasps, but it's not working.

I look over at Tris and see that she's in the same predicament I'm in. I can't get a good look at who ever is attacking her because it's too dark and my attacker is pulling me away_. Toward the chasm._ A strip of dark cloth covers my eyes.

"Wonder what it sounds like when a stiff begs for mercy," A voice says with a chuckle. Peter.

I hear the crash of water against the rocks. "Lift them up. Come on."

They're going to drop us in the chasm. I kick both of my legs as hard as I can until I feel an impact. "Ow!" A girl voice yells and I fall to the floor. My head bumps the railing on the way down. I swear under my breath. I have to keep moving. I quickly untie the blind fold obstructing my vision and take in the scene.

Peter has one hand on Tris's waist and the other hand groping her chest. "You sure you're sixteen, Stiff? Doesn't feel like you're more than twelve." He laughs and so does Drew, who is standing on the other side of him. Molly lays on the ground in front of me, clutching her stomach. I run over to where Peter is standing and push him as hard as I can. Tris falls to the ground. I run to hit Peter in the face, but someone's foot trips me up. I land on my stomach and a foot drives into my side, forcing the air from my lungs.

I hear a blood curdling scream that could have only come from Tris. Peter wraps a hand around her throat and lifts her up, holding her over the chasm. I try to get up and come to her aid, but I fall back down.

I hear a shout and Tris falls to the ground.

Drew is on the pit floor screaming.

I focus on the figure that is kicking Drew. Dark blue eyes. Four.


	12. Chapter 12

I must have passed out, because I wake up in the infirmary. I turn my head and see Four in the chair next to my bed with his eyes trained on the floor. My head is throbbing and my ribs hurt. I try to sit up but its painful so I fall back down. Four must have seen me move because he slides to edge of the chair. "Katniss, are you okay?"

The infirmary is the last place I want to be. And I'm not going to let Peter put me in here twice.

"Yes I'm fine," I sit up, ignoring the pain. "I don't want to be here." I flip the covers off of me and try to stand up. I wince at the pain in my ribs and sit down on the edge of the bed.

"You're not okay and you're staying here. Get back in bed," Four commands.

I look him dead in the eye and say. "I'm not staying here, Four, Peter is not going to keep me here."

Then it hits me. I wasn't the only one Peter ambushed. "Where is Tris?" I look around the infirmary and see her sleeping three beds down.

"She's sleeping. Like you should be. Get back in bed."

I ignore him. "What happened to Peter, Drew and Molly?"

"Peter and Molly ran. Drew is still on the floor by the chasm. He claimed they were just trying to scare you. At least, that's what I thought he was saying."

"He's in bad shape?"

"He'll live. In what condition, I can't say."

I sit back in bed. "Good."

An out of breath Peeta appears in the doorway. "Kat…Niss…What…Happened…to you?" He walks over to my bed.

"Peeta, what are you doing here? Why aren't you in the dormitory?" I ask him

"I get nightmares sometimes in the middle of the night and I wake up and stay awake. I woke up and you weren't there. I went to the chasm and saw Drew on the ground, bloody, and then I ran here. Are you okay? What happened?" He sits on the edge of my bed and takes my hand in his.

I feel Four's eyes on us. Peeta didn't acknowledge the fact that he is standing right next to us. I suddenly wish I could disappear.

"Um, Peter attacked Tris and me." I can actually see Peeta's blue eyes fill with rage. It doesn't suit them. It's not a familiar expression. I don't like it. They're always so charming and inviting.

"What?" He says in a quiet voice.

"Peeta it's okay. I'm okay. Tris got it way worse than me. They were holding her over the chasm."

"That's not the point, Katniss!" He shouts, standing up. Four motions for him to lower his voice, but Peeta is still not acknowledging his presence. "If anything, its worse. Aren't you getting tired of him?"

"Yes, but what can we do?"

"I know what we can do." He turns to leave but I grab his hand.

"Peeta, promise me you won't do anything," I plead. He doesn't say anything. He just stares at me.

"Listen, Peeta, believe me; I'm as mad as you are," Four explains, "but it's best not to do anything when you're acting out of anger."

Peeta is staring at Four now. After a few long seconds, he asks, "Why is Drew laying unconscious by the chasm?"

Four scratches the back of his neck, "I suppose I should bring him here." He walks out the infirmary. Peeta sits back down on my bed and brings my hand to his lips.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you," he whispers.

"It's not your fault, Peeta," I know saying that won't convince him. I realize, over these past few weeks Peeta has unconsciously become my best friend, behind Gale of course. I know he genuinely cares about me and I genuinely care about him. But not in the same way.

"I just wish I could take care of you; keep bad things from happening to you." The rage in his eyes has been replaced with sadness. His fingers intertwine with mine and he leans his forehead on mine and closes his eyes. I think I'll allow it. I'll allow Peeta to have his feelings for me. They're not going to go away anytime soon and he's letting me know right now. I close my eyes and for a minute, it seems like nothing is wrong. Like it's only us two in the world and nothing else matters.

"I know, Peeta. I know," I whisper to him. He mumbles something under his breath that I can't quite catch.

We stay in that position for a few minutes and straighten up when we here someone clear their throat. Four walks in and puts Drew down in the bed next to me. His eyes flicker from me, to Peeta, then to our intertwined hands. An expression plasters his face. I hadn't realized we were still holding hands. There's an awkward and eerie silence in the room. I let go of Peeta's hand and scratch my head.

"You should go back to sleep, Peeta. I'll be okay"

"You sure?"

"Yeah," I give him a reassuring smile.

Peeta looks from me to Four and it seems like I'm the only one who hasn't been making eye contact. "Okay." He says, and then brushes a lock of hair behind my ear and leaves.

Four walks over to the side of my bed with a questioning look on his face.

"So," I say. "Are you going to get me out of here?"

The corners of his mouth turn upward.

* * *

"Fear God Alone" is the quote painted on a plain white wall in Four's room. He is in the bathroom with his hands in the sink. Blood from his knuckles turns the water pink.

"So, why were you there?" I adjust the pillow underneath my head.

"I was coming back from the control room. I heard a scream," he says. "I could report this, you know."

"He's going to think Tris and I are scared." Four nods. "I wish I could have helped her more. Defended her," I say.

Four touches a cut on the side of my eye. I wince. He goes to the refrigerator in the corner of the room and returns with an ice pack. He holds it to my eye.

"You did the best you could. You had to defend yourself, first, before you could come to her aid. And it was three on two. That isn't a fair ratio."

"I guess. But I'm a good fighter; I should have been able to take two of them on at the same time. I was blindfolded, though."

"You were blindfolded. You aren't superwoman, Katniss. You did your best." He rests his hand on the side of my face, his thumb skimming my cheekbone.

"No, I didn't do my best. Peter was _touching _her, Four."

"He…He touched her?"

"Not in the way that you're thinking, but it might as well have been. I wanted to save her from that like Gale saved me. I don't want any girl to have to go through that, _ever." _ I feel the heat in the back of my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Katniss." He looks down at the floor and takes the ice pack off of my eye.

"It's okay." A few moments pass and Four is still staring at the floor. He finally speaks up. "Gale isn't your cousin, is he?"

My heart starts beating fast. How did he figure that out? I couldn't have let anything slip again. I don't want to lie to him, so I decide to tell him the truth.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Four. No, he's not. He's my best friend and he is one of the few people on earth I'm sure I love."

He doesn't respond to that. He just looks at the floor, making sure not to make eye contact with me for some strange reason.

"Well, I'm pretty tired. Getting ambushed takes a lot of energy," I say. He doesn't laugh at my joke; he just walks to the refrigerator and puts the ice pack back and starts straightening up his apartment.

I lie down and close my eyes, attempting to give in to the restless pull of sleep. It usually takes me longer to fall asleep then other people.

Thirty minutes pass and I'm still lying down with my eyes closed, focusing on breathing. I feel myself falling and before I give in to the urge to lose consciousness, Four whispers to me "How I wish I could tell you the truth, Katniss," and I feel the back of his fingers run down my cheek. "Soon."

* * *

I wake up with a horrible pain in my side. "Ow," I mumble as I sit up. Four walks through the door, his hair wet from the shower. "Good morning," he says.

"Morning," I reply, getting out of bed. I lift up my shirt a little to see if there is a bruise where it hurts, and sure enough, there is.

Four walks over. His fingers skim the bruised area and I tense up a little at his touch.

"Sorry," He says, although I didn't tense up because it hurt. "I don't know if I said this last night, but, you're strong, Katniss. You handled yourself. Most people would freak out in that situation."

"I know. I did freak out, but still. Thanks."

He laughs. "You should go get ready."

"Yeah."

* * *

We stand outside the dining hall. "I'll go in first," Four says. "See you soon, Katniss."

He walks through the door and I'm alone. I'm going to walk in there strong. I'm going to show Peter what he did had no effect on me and if he tries it again, I can take him. He's not going to bully me into feeling weak. He thinks since he can do it to Tris he can do it to me too. He's wrong.

I walk through the door with my head high. I spot Will, Christina, Tris and Peeta at a table together. Tris has a bruise on the side of her face and her eyes are downcast. I walk over and take a seat next to Peeta.

"Katniss!" Will exclaims, "We heard what happened. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Are you okay, Tris?"

"Not really," Her voice is shaky and she's still not making eye contact. I can't help but think Tris is faking. I don't know what it is, but something about her doesn't seem sincere. I hope Peter wasn't right about her. But, Tris isn't deceitful and I'm usually a good judge of character.

"God, I hate Peter," Peeta says, "And I never use such strong words when describing my feelings for someone, but I _hate_ Peter."

"I know. Remember when we were little and he use to bully kids from other factions, but when he got caught he would cry and say the other kid started it. And the grownups always believed him because, you know, Candor don't lie," Christina says.

"He's just evil," Peeta says.

Drew shuffles into the dining hall. The room falls silent. His face is swollen and purple. He has a split lip and a cut running through his eyebrow. He keeps his eyes down on the way to his table. I glance at Four and he has a satisfied smile on.

"Geez, Katniss. Did _you_ do that?" Will asks.

"No. Someone found us and did that to him."

Peeta looks down at his food and mumbles just loud enough for me to hear. "Four gave it to him good."

"Do you know who?" Will asks

"Nope, I went unconscious."

"Me too," Tris squeaks.

Four gets up and stands between the tables. Conversation abruptly ceases. "Transfers. We're doing something different today," he says. "Follow me."

We follow Four up the paths that surround the pit. I'm holding on to Peeta's arm for support.

"So, why didn't you tell them Four was the one who saved you?" He asks.

"I don't know, I just didn't think it was the best idea." He nods his head.

"Do you feel okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, my side just hurts." I lean into him a little bit.

Four turns around and walks backwards. He eyes Drew, who trudges at the back of the group, and says, "Pick up the pace, Drew!"

I laugh a little at his cruelty. Four's eyes shift to my arm around Peeta's and the same expression that covered his face when he saw Peeta and me holding hands covers his face now. _Jealousy_. He's jealous!

Four walks up a flight of metal stairs leading through a hole in the ceiling. The stairs creak under our feet.

We walk across the glass, which is now a floor rather than a ceiling, through a cylindrical room with glass walls.

The Dauntless mill around the room, talking in clusters. Four leads us through another door. Behind it is a huge space with gratified walls and exposed pipes.

"This," says Four, "is a different kind of simulation known as the fear landscape. It has been disabled for our purposes, so this isn't what it will be like next time you see it. Through your simulations, we have stored data about your worst fears. The fear landscape accesses that data and presents you with a series of virtual obstacles. Some of the obstacles will be fears you previously faced in your simulations. Some may be new fears. The difference is that you are aware, in the fear landscape, that it is a simulation, so you will have all your wits about you as you go through it."

That means everyone will be like Divergent in the fear landscape.

Four continues, "The number of fears you have in your landscape varies according to how many you have. I told you before that the third stage of initiation focuses on mental preparation. That is because it requires you to control both your emotions and your body- to combine the physical abilities you learned in stage one to emotional masteries you learned in stage two. To keep a level head."

Four scans the crowd and his eyes stop on me. "Next week you will go through your fear landscape as quickly as possible in front of a panel of Dauntless leaders. That will be your final test, which determines your ranking for stage three. Just as stage two is weighed more heavily than stage one, stage three is weighted heaviest of all. Understood?

We all nod. I think I have a good chance of making it into Dauntless. I did well in stage one and I did well in stage two. If you put well and well together that makes good. Right?

"You can get past each obstacle in one of two ways. Either you find a way to calm down enough that the simulation registers a normal, steady heart beat, or you find a way to face your fear, which can force the simulation to move on. One way to face a fear of drowning is to swim deeper, for example." Four shrugs. "So I suggest you take the next week to consider your fears and develop strategies for them."

"That doesn't seem fair," Peter says. "What if one person only has seven fears and someone else has twenty? That's not their fault."

Four stares at him for a few seconds then laughs. "You really want to talk to me about fear?"

The crowd parts as he walks towards Peter. "I understand why you're worried, Peter. The events of last night certainly proved that you are a miserable coward."

Peter stares.

"So now we all know that you are afraid of an Erudite and a short, skinny from Abnegation." He smiles.

Peeta laughs audibly. I look over at Tris and find a smile on her face, too.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this took a long time to post and nothing really happened except Four knows about Peeta. I promise the next chapter will be more... interesting. I had a lot going on this week. Your reviews are appreciated! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: This is just, like, a filler chapter. It's shorter than the regular chapters and it's just filled with conversations. But its interesting, might I add. I hope you like it. **

**Ps: The whole story w/ Peeta and everything is The same story in THG. I just made tweaks where it was necessary. **

* * *

I stand with Peeta at the railing in front of the chasm. Its night time and all of the other initiates probably just went to bed.

"I can't believe you talked me into this," Peeta says, looking at his new tattoo on his arm.

I laugh. "I can't believe you got a slice of bread, of all things."

"Well, it has my dad's name on it. It's just to remind me of him. I miss my family. Do you ever just miss your family?"

"Yeah, especially my dad," I say, fiddling with the end of my braid.

"He must have been great."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, my dad wanted to marry your mom, but she transferred to Erudite," He says.

"What? You're making that up!" I exclaim.

"No, true story. When he told me that, actually, was the day I started liking you."

"Peeta, what are you talking about? You just met me in Dauntless."

"No. Let's see. I guess it was the first day of school. We were five. You had on a blue plaid dress and your hair was in two braids instead of one. My father pointed you out when we were waiting to line up. He said 'See that little girl? I wanted to marry her mother, but she transferred to the Erudite faction and married a professor,'" Peeta says. "And I said, 'A professor? Why did she transfer when she could have stayed in Candor and married you?' And he said, 'Because when he sings… even the birds stop to listen.'

I had no idea my mother transferred from Candor. Why didn't she tell me? Was she keeping it a secret? Peeta can't be lying because my father was a wonderful singer.

"That's true. They do. I mean, they did," I say. It strikes me that me that my own dismissal of music might not really be that I think it's a waste of time. It might be because it reminds me so much of my father.

"So that day, in music assembly, the teacher asked who knew the faction song. Your hand shot straight up, even though it was a Candor song. She stood you up on a stool and had you sing it for us. And I swear, every bird outside the windows fell silent," Peeta says.

I never knew the song my mom taught me was a Candor song. I never asked her where she learned it.

"Oh. Please," I say laughing.

"No, it happened. And right when your song ended, I knew –Just like your mother –I was a goner," Peeta says. "Then for the next eleven years, I tried to work up the nerve to talk to you."

"Without success," I add.

"Without success. So in a way, both of us choosing Dauntless was a real piece of luck," says Peeta.

"I don't get it though, If you liked me when I met you, why did you pretend you didn't know me? 'You're Katniss, right?'" I say, mocking him.

He laughs, "Well what did you want me to say? 'Oh my God Katniss, I have been in love with you since we were five! It's nice to finally meet you.'"

Of course, what is going through my head is: In love? He's in love with me? But I say, "Yeah that would have been better."

He laughs.

"What are you two doing out here?" A voice from behind us says. We turn around to find Four with his arms crossed. "You would think that after you got attacked, you wouldn't be idling around the chasm late at night anymore."

"I, um -," I start.

"I'm with her. And you actually think Peter would do the same thing twice? Especially after you called him out today," Peeta says.

"I wouldn't put it past him," Four steps closer to us.

"Well, since it worries you so much, we'll go to bed," says Peeta. We turn to leave but Four says, "Wait." We turn to face him. "Katniss, can I talk you for a minute?" I nod and look at Peeta. He looks reluctant to leave, but he does.

I walk closer to Four. "What do you want to tell me?"

"The truth," he simply says.

XXX

We sit inside the chasm on a flat rock near the side, where the current isn't strong, and our feet dangling over the edge. We have been sitting in silence for a few minutes, peacefully watching the water attack than retreat on the rocks. Soon, the silence gets too much for me to bear.

"So, what "truth" do you have to tell me?" I ask.

He sighs. "Gale."

I can feel my heart beating rapidly. I always knew Four was hiding something about Gale. I thought I would have to do some investigating or I'd have to coax it out of him. Not once did i think he might just openly admit whatever it was.

"What about Gale?"

"During initiation two years ago, Gale was my best friend. I guess I should take this time to tell you, I am originally from Abnegation."

Four from Abnegation? I try to imagine him as small as Tris and in the same gray clothes. I can't.

"I was really small and I wasn't that strong," Four continues, "And people weren't the nicest to me. Gale was different, though. He wasn't mean or anything, and after a training session, if I needed more help, he would give it to me. He reminded me of a nicer version of Amar, our instructor. Anyway, at the near end of initiation, before we found out who was going to be in Dauntless, Gale told me about his plan to leave Dauntless."

"Leave Dauntless? What? Why?" I ask

"I'm getting to that. He was saying all these things about how the fence isn't keeping things out, its keeping us in, and how there is a different society beyond the fence and all of these things. I honestly thought he was crazy and didn't know what he was talking about. I tried to convince him not to go but, he told me he did his research and found out the Erudite were keeping these things from us. And how he was going to find out the truth."

I feel the tears welling up behind my eyes. "So, he just left me here. He forgot about me? Did I even matter to him at all?"

"No, Katniss, That's not it. He said he would come back in two years. He said there would be a girl waiting here for him. He made me promise to stay in Dauntless until she got here. And right before we started the real simulations, I should tell you he was coming. He didn't give me any specifics but, obviously he was talking about you, Katniss."

I wipe my eyes, "you said, he said he would come back?"

He pushes a lock of hair behind my ear. "At the end of initiation, right after they announce who made it into Dauntless. He'll be here for you. He didn't leave you, Katniss."

All this time I thought he left, but a little part of me knew he didn't. I wonder what he meant by there being another society outside the fence. Is there more out there then the five factions? Why would Erudite keep this from us?

"Was he your boyfriend? I know you said he was your best friend, but since you weren't completely honest about him being your cousin, I figured-"

"No. He is my best friend. Why?

"I was just wondering. What do you think of all this?"

"I don't know. I mean, I haven't known Gale to be wrong before. But another whole society outside of the fence? That's outrageous. What did you say to him when he told you all of this?"

"It was outrageous to me, too. I asked him questions like 'How are you going to get outside of the fence?' And 'What are you going to do if there isn't another country out there?'"

"And what did he say?"

"He said 'I'll tell you when I get back, Tobias.' And then he was gone."

"Wow. I can't believe he just left bec –Wait. Tobias. Who is Tobias?"

Four's eyes widen and he looks like he has just made a big mistake.

"Um, It's okay. You don't have to tell me," I say.

"No. I told you I was going to tell you truth, so I am." He stands up on the rock and offers me his hand.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: REALLY sorry this took so long. I was reading "Delirium" by Lauren Oliver and I finished it. Then i was going to post this chapter but i got caught up in the sequel, and then the olympics (Tom Daley, more specifically... Even though I'm American lol) but thats no excuse! So sorry. I tried to make this chapter really special. Especially the end. ;) Reviews are appreciated! **

* * *

We stand in front of the fear landscape. Four holds a black box with two syringes in it.

"So, we're going into your fear landscape?" I ask

"Yes.

"We can do that? Together, I mean."

"The serum connects you to the program, but the program determines whose landscape you go through. And right now, it's set to put us through mine," He explains.

"You would let me see that?"

"What's the point in giving you only half of the truth?" He holds up the syringe. I tilt my neck and feel a sharp pain as the needle goes in. He hands me the other syringe and touches a spot on his neck. I ease the needle in.

He sets the box with the needles in it in a corner then takes my hand. He opens the door and I follow him inside.

"See if you can figure out why they call me Four," he says.

Light pours into the dark room and the city unfolds around us. We stand on a tall building with shorter glass buildings around us. The wind is blowing really hard. I have to squint my eyes to keep the air from blowing into them. Four wraps his arm around me. His breaths are short and rapid.

"Heights?" I look at him.

He's too busy focusing on trying to control his breathing to hear me. "Four, we have to jump or you have to calm down." He looks at me. "And it looks like the latter isn't going to happen anytime soon, so we're going to jump, okay?" He nods.

I take his hand and we walk to the edge of the building. "Don't look down," I tell him. "We're going to jump on three, okay?" He nods. "One… Two… Three!" I jump off the building, not letting go of his hand, and we're both sailing towards the growing ground beneath us. Then it's gone.

I lie on my back on the floor. Next to me, Four gasps and presses a hand to his chest.

I sit up. "That wasn't so bad, right?" I ask.

Something solid hits me in the back. Walls appear on my left and right. The space is small and tight. Four and I are crammed together. I lay on my side facing the left wall, my head on his chest. A ceiling slams onto the walls around us.

"Small spaces," I say. "I'm not too fond of them either."

He mumbles something unintelligible.

"I don't see how we can get out of here, other than you slowing your heart beat," I say. I place my hand over his heart. It's racing. I guide his hand to my chest.

"Can you feel my heart beat?"

"Yes."

"Okay, focus on my breathing. Every time I breathe, you breathe." He nods.

I try to think of what my parents did to calm me down for bed when I was little. I remember, my dad would bring me a warm glass of milk, tuck me into bed, and sing me a lullaby. It's very old. The words are very easy and soothing. I don't know if it would work now on Four, but it's worth a try. I start to sing in a calm whisper voice:

_ Deep in the meadow, under the willow_

_ A bed of grass, a soft green pillow_

_ Lay down you head, and close your sleepy eyes_

_ And when again they open, the sun will rise_

_ Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_ Here the daises guard you from every harm_

_ Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_ Here is the place where I love you._

Four's blue eyes are big, watching me intently. He's following my every word. Not missing a single beat.

_ Deep in the meadow, hidden far away_

_ A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray_

_ Forget your woes and let your troubles lay_

_ And when again it's morning, they'll wash away._

_ Here it's safe, here's its warm_

_ Here the daises guard you from every harm_

I feel his heart beat slow underneath my hand.

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_ Here is the place where I love you._

The walls break apart and fall away. I stand and stretch my back and my arms. "That one wasn't too comfortable," I say. I turn in face him and he is still staring at me wide eyed. "Um-"

"I didn't know you could sing like that," He says.

"Eh, well… I'm okay. Nothing special."

"Are you serious?" He asks

"Um… Yeah."

"That was…" He looks over his shoulder and trails off.

A woman who stands a few feet away is pointing a gun at us. On a table to the right is a single bullet and a gun.

"You have to shoot her?" I ask

"Every single time."

"It's not real."

"It looks real. It feels real. It okay, though. I'll just…do it. This one's not…not so bad. Not as much panic involved."

I watch him pick up the gun and click the bullet into place. He holds the gun out and closes one eye and squeezes the trigger. Four and I see her fall to the ground and watch as a pool of blood forms around her head.

Then she's gone.

"Here we go," He whispers.

A spotlight that seems to come from nowhere shines on the ground in front of us. A man steps into the circle of light. He is tall and thin with his hair cut close to his scalp. He wears the gray Abnegation clothes. I've seen him exactly twice in person. Once when he came to school to give a speech, and the other time: he handed me the knife that's the very reason I'm in Dauntless, at the choosing ceremony. Marcus Eaton.

"Here's the part where you figure out who Tobias is," Four says.

Marcus walks slowly toward Four, who inches slowly back.

It all makes sense now. Jeanine Matthews, the sole representative of my old faction, released a report a few weeks ago attacking Marcus. It referred to his alleged violence and cruelty towards his son,Tobias, saying that was the reason he chose Dauntless instead of Abnegation.

Apparently, that violence and cruelty wasn't alleged.

A belt is curled around one of Marcus' fists. He unwinds it from his fingers.

"This is for your own good," he says.

Suddenly a dozen Marcuses press into the circle of light, all holding the same belt. The first Marcus yanks the belt back. Four throws his arms up to protect his face. Without thinking, I run in front of Four and shove Marcus as hard as I can.

He falls to the ground but gets back up quickly. He lunges at me with outstretched hands. I get ready to defend myself, but Four pushes me behind him so he stands between Marcus and me.

Then all the Marcuses disappear.

The lights cut on and we're standing in the landscape room again. Heights. Confinement. Killing and Marcus Eaton. These are the things Four can't handle. The things he's _afraid_ of.

"Four fears? That's unheard of. I would have expected you to be afraid of butterflies and lady bugs or something…"

I trail off when I turn around and see his expression. He looks the way he did when I was singing to him. Wide blue eyes, lips parted. He looks…shocked. "What?"

"You really have no idea what you just did?" He asks me.

I shrug. He walks over to me and pulls me into an embrace. I tense up.

I can hear the sound of his heart beating in his chest. The sound of him breathing. The sound of him living. That sound strangely comforts me. I wrap my arms around him and whisper, "It really wasn't that big of a deal."

He laughs and takes my hand.

XXX

As I lay in bed, I realize what has happened tonight: Four told me what really happened to Gale. He allowed me to go with him into his fear landscape. And he walked me back to my dorm, talking about his childhood and holding my hand.

I feel my eye lids getting heavy.

I wonder what that all means. I know it doesn't mean what I think it means. Four…or should I say, Tobias could never think of me that way.

I look over at Peeta who is sleeping soundly. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. Like a newborn baby after the long and tiring process of being born. Lips parted, a faint snore. Something about Peeta puts my mind to rest. I don't know what or how.

I close my eyes. I don't want to think about this right now. I just want to sleep.

XXX

Lauren, the instructor of the Dauntless-born initiates, stands with her hands on her hips in the fear landscape room.

"Two years ago I was afraid of spiders, suffocation, walls that inch slowly inward and trap you between them, getting thrown out of Dauntless, uncontrollable bleeding, getting run over by a train, my father's death, public humiliation, and kidnapping by men without faces."

Everyone stares blankly at her.

"Most of you will have anywhere from ten to fifteen fears in your fear landscapes. That is the average number." She says.

"What's the lowest number someone has gotten?" Lynn asks.

"In recent years: Four." Lauren says.

I look over at Four. His eyes are trained on the floor. It seems like it would be obvious that he was the one who got the lowest number, but none of the other initiates look at him.

"You will not find out your number today," Lauren continues. "The simulation is set to my fear landscape program, so you will experience my fears instead of your own. For the purpose of the exercise, though, each of you will only face one of my fears, to get a sense for how the simulation works."

Lauren points to us at random and assigns us each a fear. When she points to me, she says "Public Humiliation."

This one shouldn't be too bad. I naturally don't care what people think about me. Over the years I've built a shell around myself. To protect me from getting hurt. Their opinions neither help nor harm me in life, so I don't think twice about the things people say. I don't even give them the time of day.

I watch as Christina claws at an invisible something, strangling her. I watch as she desperately tries to cling to the single strand of life dangling over her head.

I watch Tris kick and claw at the invisible hands touching her body. I hear her bloodcurdling scream. Identical to the one that Peter forced out of her that night at the chasm. It sends a chill up my spine.

And then I'm next.

Lauren inserts the needle into my neck.

The scenery changes.

I stand in a metallic gymnasium. In front of me is a table with four arrows and a bow on it. I look up and find the leaders of Dauntless in a little room staring down at me intently, one of whom being Eric. He looks almost…amused. His legs are crossed and his hands are folded in his lap, resembling a teepee.

Under the room of Dauntless leaders stand the instructors and the initiates. Transfers and Dauntless-born.

I turn to the side and see a human silhouette with a bulls-eye over its heart.

I guess I have to shoot it.

I pick up the bow and string it. I've done this before. One time in Erudite we were learning about weaponry. The people teaching us had demonstrations and then asked one of us to volunteer. I raised my hand and went to the front of the class. They taught me how to shoot and arrow but never let me do it on my own. That was a while ago, though.

I pull back on the arrow and let it fly. I miss the dummy by a couple of inches. I hear a few snickers coming from the crowd of initiates behind me. I turn my head and see Peeta and Four standing side by side, arms crossed, looking thoroughly unimpressed. Above them, Eric holds a paper cup in his hand taking small sips.

I feel my cheeks getting warm.

I shoot again and again but keep missing. It looks like the arrow is going straight toward the center of the dummy but then it shifts to the left.

The initiates are erupting in laughter now and so are the Dauntless leaders. All of them except Eric. His eyes bore into mine. He takes another sip from his cup and gives me a smug half smile. I'm filled with a rage that I cannot control.

My heart starts to pound. Without thinking, I pull an arrow from my quiver and send it straight at Eric. The other Dauntless leaders scurry off, resembling bats that have just been exposed to the light. The arrow flies right through the center of his cup and pins it to the wall behind him.

The lights come on and I'm standing back in the fear landscape room.

Public Humiliation? _Please. _That was barely verging on embarrassing. I step out and Lauren pats me on the back. "Nice job, Katniss," she says. "NEXT!"

XXX

Peeta and I lay on a blanket next to the glass building on top of the Dauntless compound. The setting sun paints the sky a breathtaking orange-pinkish color. It amazes me how the world can be so cruel yet so wonderfully beautiful at the exact same time. The faction less die and starve every day but this angelic sunset will always be here at the end of that day. Still exquisitely elegant.

Life moves on whether you want it to or not. Life waits for no one.

All of the other initiates sit in the noisy dining hall having dinner, talking about whatever it is normal sixteen year olds talk about. Their pointless chatter was giving me a headache so Peeta suggested we go on a picnic. Just us.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" He says. I assume he's talking about the sunset that had me mesmerized just a few seconds ago.

"Yeah, It is."

"It's actually my favorite color, sunset orange. I use to go out every day and look at it"

I laugh a little. "I'm not surprised."

He says with a smile, "Oh? And why is that?"

And I say, "Because you have a weakness for beautiful things."

"Having an eye for beauty isn't the same thing as a weakness," He points out. "Except, possibly, when it comes to you."

This makes me uncomfortable. Having Peeta say things like this feels wrong. It's wrong for me to accept the things he says when I'm not completely sure how I feel about him. It use to be no. No I don't have feelings for Peeta. No, he's just my friend. But things have changed. And now I'm unsure. I don't know what I feel.

I play around with the peas on my plate. I don't know what to say. Thankfully, he breaks the awkward silence.

"How many fears do you think you're going to have?"

I let out a sigh. "I don't know. I don't even want to think about it."

"Other things on your mind?"

"Sort of."

I wonder what Gale is going to say to me when he gets here. I wonder if he's changed or if he's the same stubborn, but caring Gale I grew up with. Just thinking about seeing him makes me nervous. Only a few days.

"Anything I could help you with?" Peeta asks.

I do feel less nervous with Peeta around me. Just like last night. Looking at him brings a sense of security.

"Actually, you can."

"How?"

And then I launch into the whole story of why Four had to talk to me alone last night, excluding the part where he took me into his fear landscape, of course. Peeta is looking down at his food but he nods to show that he's listening. After I'm done he says

"So what, exactly do you need my help with."

"Well, when I go to see Gale, I was wondering if you would come with me. Having you around would make me less nervous."

He smiles. "Why would you be nervous? I thought you said he was your best friend?"

"He is. It's just, I haven't seen him in two whole years. You know?"

He nods. "I know. Well, Katniss Everdeen, I will be glad to escort you to your meeting with Gale Hawthorne."

"Thank you, Peeta. It means a lot." I smile.

In that moment, as I'm looking into his crystal clear blue eyes, the setting sun our only witness; I reach out and grab his hand, our fingers intertwining, it is then that I realize how special Peeta Mellark _really_ is. And how much it would kill me if I ever lost him.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: We're dwindling down! It's almost over. I think There might be, like, four chapters left. Maybe more, maybe less. I'm getting ready to go back to school, that's why the chapters are coming a little later than usual. But, im determined to finish this before school starts (20th). I have another story I'm working on too. It's about Gale in district two after the war. Check it out. Reviews are appreciated!**

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Peeta and I walk in the dormitory laughing and talking. Our picnic lasted longer than the dinner itself. All of the initiates are getting into bed when we walk in. I tell Peeta goodnight and walk toward the bathroom to change into my pajamas when Christina grabs my arm, pulls me into the bathroom and shuts the door.

"Where have you been?" she says in an irritated tone.

"Um. Peeta and I went on a picnic," I say.

She smiles with half of her mouth and crosses her arms. "I should have known you were with him. You two are inseparable. You like him!" She's sort of whisper-shouting at me in an "I told you so" kind of way.

"Don't jump to conclusions, we're just friends," I say

"It's okay to say he's your boyfriend, Katniss. Because I have a boyfriend too, now. Well, kind of."

"Really? Who?"

"Will."

"What?!"

"Shh! Shh!" She quiets me. "We were walking around the train tracks. We were just talking about… I don't even remember what we were talking about. And then he just stopped, and leaned in, and….kissed me."

"Wow. Since when did he like you?"

"I don't even know! We just kept walking and talking like nothing happened. Well, until I kissed him." She laughs.

"Since when did _you _like _him?_" I ask.

"I don't know when."

"See: You were too busy trying to tell me who _I _had a crush on; you didn't even realize you had a crush yourself!"

She laughs, "I guess not. But it all worked out in the end, right? I got Will, you got Peeta."

I roll my eyes. "I don't _have_ Peeta. I'm not even sure I like him."

"Oh really? Because what I saw just a few minutes ago –You know, when you two came in, smiling at each other from ear to ear –made me think that you liked him."

I smile. "I don't know why it made you think that."

"You're so full of it, Katniss."

"Yeah, well, I have to get dressed so if you don't mind." I gesture towards the door.

She walks to the door but pauses before she turns the doorknob. She turns around and faces me. "You know, one day you're going to realize you're missing out on something good when its right in front of you. And by then, it will be too late." She turns around and leaves the bathroom.

I'm shocked by her suddenly serious tone. I thought we were playing around. And what did she mean by "and by then, it will be too late" ?

I change into my pajamas and get into bed. I sneak a look at Peeta and find that he's already looking at me. You can still see the faint glimmer in his blue eyes even in the dark. He smiles at me and I smile back then close my eyes and drift off.

XXX

All of the initiates stand in the glass building on top of the pit. Today is the day when we go into our fear landscapes. Today is also the day when I see Gale. Nervous can't even come close to describing what I'm feeling right now. It's like there are a million little butterflies flying around in my stomach. All of them can't fit so their fighting for space inside of me. It's nerve-racking. I hope my fretfulness about Gale doesn't affect my performance in my fear landscape.

All of us are clustered around of series of screens. On them we can see the initiate in their simulation although we can't see what they're facing. Marlene is in there now. On a second screen you can see her heart rate. It picks up for a second then decreases. When it reaches a normal rate, the screen flashes green and the Dauntless cheer. Another screen shows her time.

Next to the fear landscape room is another room. The room is large and contains another screen. A line of people sit in chairs in front of it. Eric is one of them, and so is Max. The others are also older. Four leans on the door frame leading into the room.

"Transfers, the order in which you go through the final test was taken from your rankings as they now stand, "So Will will go first, and Katniss will go last."

_Great_. I'd rather go first and get it over with than wait and get more anxious then I already am.

Eric sticks Will with a needle and sends him into the fear landscape room. I try to watch Will for the first few minutes by I can just feel my anxiety building and I have to do the "_My name is Katniss Everdeen"_ thing twice before I finally resolve to closing my eyes.

Christina goes next. Then Drew. Then Molly. Then Peeta. I open my eyes to see Peeta's. He's in a crouch and he has his hands forcefully pressed to his ears. Tears streaking his cheeks. I wonder what It is that can break Peeta's composer so quickly. I recall him saying -the one time we did talk about our fears –that they were _unbearable_. What could it be? Is it his mother? Is it something else?

When Peeta is done, he walks out with a blank expression on his face. His eyes are clouded. I feel a sudden urge to go comfort him, but of course, I resist it.

Peter goes in. Then Tris. And then my name is being called.

"Katniss."

I walk to the front of the room where Eric stands with a syringe full of orange liquid. He plunges it into my neck. "Ready?" he asks.

XXX

I step into the room ready for whatever it's going to throw at me. The scenery changes around me

I lie on a bed in a dirty motel room. The same flickering light out in the hall. The same white door. He emerges.

"Back again?" He asks.

I don't feel the same fear I did when I faced him in stage two. Nevertheless, my heart is still racing. He puts his bottle of liquor down on the night stand beside me and climbs on top of me. I close my eyes.

I could get out of here if these restraints didn't finite me. I'm trying to think of ways of how to get out of them when Haymitch lifts up my nightgown.

_I really wish these restraints were gone._

And then they are.

I don't feel the leather on my wrists and ankles anymore. I open my eyes and see that I'm free to move.

I bring my fist across his face and he lands on the floor. I really hope he isn't a masochist. I get off of the bed and kick him in the stomach and hear him groan. I reach over to the nightstand, grab the bottle, and see it shatter over his head. I watch as his blood commingles with the alcohol that was his best friend and, eventually, his undoing.

I stand in the dark.

All I had to do to get the restraints off of me was wish them off. How is that possible? This might be easier than I anticipated it to be.

The scenery changes again.

I stand at the back of the crowd of initiates in front of the chasm. Gale.

I push my way toward the front. This time, not worrying about if I knock someone down or not. He stands there inside of the tank, looking so helpless. An expression almost never on the real Gale's face. "Katniss!" He yells.

I immediately run to the glass. "Hold on, Gale." I start pounding on the wall, but my hands bounce off, causing no damage. The water is rising toward his knees.

Think. I have to think. This isn't working like it worked in the first simulation. I close my eyes and wish that the glass was thinner. Thin and fragile so it can be broken easily. I open my eyes and swing as hard as I can. The pane breaks and Gale falls on top of me, water rushing past us. He smiles at me and his gray eyes light up. His smile is so genuine, it's almost like he's real. I actually believe it's the real Gale until the simulation changes.

I sit on the couch in my old home in Erudite. Everything looks normal. The same book shelf to the left of the coffee table. The kitchen to the right, and a hallway next to it leading to our bedrooms.

Then I hear the blood curdling scream of a twelve year old girl.

"Prim!" I yell. I run into her bed room to find 4 policemen surrounding her bed. One of them has her in his arms. Jeanine Matthews is standing to the side, arms crossed, with a look of indifference on her face. "Let her go!" I pound on the back of the policemen who is holding her.

"Katniss!" Primrose cries.

Another officer grabs me by my hair and throws me to the ground. I try to get up but he gets on top of me, pinning my wrists to the floor. I turn my head to face Jeanine. "What are you doing?! Let her go!"

"Don't make this harder than it has to be, Ms. Everdeen," Jeanine says, "We need new test subjects in the lab. We need young blood. I would hope you would have had a better reaction to this, seeing as how it will benefit your faction, but I guess I was mistaken. "

The officers turn to leave the room. "No! No! Prim!"

"Katniss!"

I close my eyes and imagine a gun next to me. If I only had a gun, I could get Primrose out of this. I open my eyes, and there it is. I knee the officer on top of me and he rolls over into the fetal position. I pick up the gun and aim it at the leg of the officer who has Prim in his hands.

I shoot and Prim falls to the ground. Taking her hand, we run out of the house into the street. We're running without looking back.

I turn to see if Prim is keeping up with me, but she's gone. Everything's gone. I stand in the dark.

I'm in a science lab. It's one of the many science labs in Erudite. I know because every year we used to come to one of them on a field trip. It has white walls and white tile floors. There are six long tables lined up one behind the other. All of them are cluttered with science equipment and flasks with odd colored liquid in them. There is a black board in the back of the room crammed with equations, and an oven in the front of the room.

At the first table there are two men with their backs to me. They seem to be working on something. They are mixing liquids and scribbling things down in notebooks beside them.

"Hello?" I call out.

They don't turn around. Can they hear me? I walk to the front of the table.

"Excuse me…" I start. My heart beat quickens as I recognize one of the men in front of me. The whole world closes around me and suddenly I can't breathe. My head is spinning in disbelief. I shut my eyes and open them again, but he is still there. Living. Breathing.

"Dad?" I reach out for him but my hand passes through his body. Of course. He's not real. I feel the tears forming in the back of my eyes.

"I think I got it!" The man next to him says, holding up a flask with a dark green liquid in it. He looks familiar. But I know I haven't seen him before. His features remind me of someone that I know. His appearance afflicts an extensive nostalgia inside of me.

"Take a look at this, Everdeen," he pulls his notebook to the center of the table, "I mixed this Fluidic acid with the sustainable neutralizer. Now all we have to do is make a gallon of this, and heat it and 212 degrees Fahrenheit."

"By golly, Hawthorne!" Dad exclaims. "I think we've got it! I'll mix the gallon and you heat up the oven."

Hawthorne. Of course. The guy working with my dad is Gale's father. There was only one time my dad ever worked with Gale's dad –Dad being a professor and Mr. Hawthorne being a scientist- Mr. Hawthorne was working on a cure for an influenza outbreak in Chicago. He insisted my dad help him with it, seeing as how all the other scientists who worked under Mr. Hawthorne didn't have the intellectual capacities to work on such project –My dad was smarter than they were. The day they started working together, there was an explosion.

I'm about to witness my Father's death.

My father goes to the table behind them and mixes liquids while Mr. Hawthorne presses buttons on the oven.

I have to stop this somehow. The explosion must have been caused by the chemical heating up. If I can prevent them from putting it in the oven, I can stop their demise.

I run over to where my dad is working. I try pushing over chemicals and wiping everything off of the table but my hands pass right through everything. I run over to the oven and try to kick it but to no avail. It's like I'm a ghost.

"Oven ready?" My dad asks.

"Yes. Bring it over."

My dad walks over to the oven with a big pot in his hands. He slides it into the oven carefully.

"Now, we wait. It shouldn't take long to heat up," Mr. Hawthorne says.

They stand there staring at the oven. It kills me that I can't do anything to stop this. I just have to stand here and watch my father die.

"Its bubbling, It's not supposed to be bubbling," My dad says with urgency. "Take it out!"

Mr. Hawthorne opens the oven and everything goes white. It's probably the loudest sound I have ever heard in my life. It sounds like a rocket taking off right in front of you but ten times louder. Is this how it really happened? Is this the last sound my father heard?

Everything is dark. My ears are still ringing. The only thing that is keeping me sane right now is the fact that I know all of it is not real. It's just a simulation. Tears streak my face. I wipe them off with the palm of my hand. I have to get through this. I have to go.

I hope I don't have too many fears left. But knowing how twisted my mind can be, my fears could be innumerable.

I'm in a jungle. The air is muggy and humid. The sky is pink and all I see is green around me. Except, it doesn't look real. The trees and grass and plants: they all look artificial.

"We have to hurry up and get out of here," a voice beside me says. It startles me and I turn to find Peeta. Relief rushes over me. I'm glad I don't have to be here alone, even if it isn't the real Peeta.

He has a knife, slashing his way through the jungle, clearing a path as I walk behind him. "We need to find water, if we're going to survive out here," he says.

"And how do you suppose we do that?" I ask.

"I don't know. It-"

There's a sharp zapping sound. Peeta's flung back, bringing me to the ground. I rush over to where he lies, motionless in a web of vines. "Peeta?" There's a faint smell of singed hair. I shake him a little but he doesn't respond. I call his name again and put my ear to his chest, expecting to find his strong steady heartbeat, but instead I find silence.

"No no no no no! Peeta! Wake up please wake up!" I shake him a little harder. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears.

"Peeta!" I scream. But it's no use.

I learned CPR in grade school, but it was so long ago and I never actually had to use it. I'm not even sure I remember how to do it correctly, but it's all I've got.

"Please let this work."

I pinch his nose closed and blow air into his lungs, then I pump his heart. This goes on as a routine for a few minutes. Then I give up. It's not working. He's gone.

I'm hysterically crying and shaking and I can't control myself. I backup into a tree and fall to my knees.

"It's not real. It's not real. It's not real," has become my mellowing mantra. I close my eyes and calm down a little. But when I open them and see Peeta's motionless corpse at rest on the ground, I have a panic attack.

I have to get away from here in order to slow my heartbeat. Seeing Peeta dead isn't helping me. I stand up and try to walk, but my legs are shaking violently. I result to crawling on my hands and knees. I crawl over to Peeta and kiss him on the fore head. "I'm so sorry," I say as I move a golden lock of hair from his eyes.

I crawl and I crawl and I crawl for what seems like forever. I end up on a beach. The waves crash at the shore and then slowly retreat back. I lie down on my back and close my eyes. Wishing, probably for the millionth time in my life, that I was dead.

I open my eyes and find the graffitied walls of the Dauntless fear landscape.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Yes, I know, I kind of rushed through this chapter a little bit. Sorry about that. School just started. =/. I made sure to take my time on the end, though. Reviews are appreciated**

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I bring my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them. It wasn't real. Peeta is still alive, Primrose is fine, and Gale is fine. I'll be able to see him in a few hours. Everything's okay. I have to see Peeta, though. It's the only thing that will calm me down. I stand up and wipe off my jeans, even though nothing is on them.

The door opens and Max, Eric, Four, and a few other people I don't know walk in. Four smiles at me. "Congratulations, Katniss," Eric says. "You have successfully completed your final evaluation."

"Thanks," I say.

"There is one more thing before you can go and get ready for the banquet," He says. He beckons to one of the unfamiliar people behind him. A woman with blue hair hands him a small black case. He opens it and takes out a syringe and a long needle. I take a step back.

"Why do you need that? I thought I was done with simulations." I say.

"Calm down. This will inject you with a tracking device that will be activated only if you are reported missing. Just a precaution."

I look into his eyes and see something phony; something artificial. Just like the scenery in my last fear, it's not real.

"This is a new development, courtesy of your old faction. We have been injecting every Dauntless throughout the day, and I assume all other factions will comply as soon as possible."

I can't refuse the injection just because I think he's not telling the whole truth.

"Okay," I say reluctantly.

Eric approaches me with the needle and syringe in hand. I tilt my head to the side and he eases the needle into my skin. He puts the needle back in its case and sticks an adhesive bandage on the injection site.

"The banquet is in two hours," he says. "Your ranking among the other initiates, Dauntless-born in included, will be announced then. Good luck."

They all file out of the room, but Four. He pauses by the door and beckons me to follow him, so I do.

"I heard a rumor that you only had five fears," he says smiling. "Unheard of."

"Yeah, only one more than you. If I can conquer one of those fears, you might have to share your nickname with me," I smile at him.

"Yeah, I don't think so."

"You don't have to think so, but it's going to happen."

"Is that so?" he asks.

"Yup, it is."

We walk down the path leading to the pit. Four walks in front of me and turns backwards.

"We'll see about that. I'll even become one of your fears if I have too," he says.

"Well, that's not going to work, see, because I'm not afraid of you."

He laughs. "I wouldn't have it any other way. Do you have to go back to the dormitory?"

"I guess not, but I was going to try and find Peeta."

His face hardens and he turns around and walks forward. I run up and grab his arm. "Why did you just walk away? Did I say something wrong?" He yanks his arm from my grasp and keeps walking.

"Really, Four? You're going to ignore me and not even tell me what I said," I ask.

He stops and faces me. "First: Don't call me that. Second: I just want to know why you spend so much time with Peeta. I mean, you are together in the middle of the night by the chasm, you hold hands together in the infirmary, and you take picnics at sunset. What _is_ that?"

I study him, trying to figure out why he's so upset with my hanging out with Peeta. It's not against the rules for initiates to do that stuff. We're not hurting anybody. Could he possibly….

"Is there something you're not telling me?" I ask.

He looks down at his shoes for a moment, as if they have the answer, then he looks up at me. He nods his head to the left. "Come on."

XXX

He closes the door to his room and slips off his shoes. "Want some water?" he asks.

"No, I'm okay, thanks." I take a seat on the edge of his bed. He pulls up a chair and sits in front of me.

"So, I guess I didn't tell you _the whole truth _that night I said I would," he says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"The whole thing with Gale, and my fear landscape, and telling you who I really am and why I came to Dauntless, That was the truth, but it wasn't all of it. There was something else I was going to tell you but I decided not to because I thought you had enough surprises for one night."

My heart beat quickens

"What was the other thing?"

Please don't say it. Please don't say it. Please don't say-

He takes my hand. "I like you, Katniss." He sits on the bed, next to me. I stare straight ahead at the words on the wall. "Fear God Alone."

He sits there waiting for my response, but when I say nothing, he continues. "I tried not to, if that helps. I thought seeing you with Peeta would help my feelings go away, but it didn't. It just made me angry. I didn't know why I liked you, at first. I figured it was just because you were strong but I've seen many strong girls before. I figured it out, though. You're different than them, Katniss. You're smarter than they are, you're stronger. You see things differently."

I keep staring at the wall.

"And I don't usually express my feelings like this so I would appreciate it if you said something," he says.

I look down at my hands. "I'm sorry," I say. "I guess I'm just surprised, is all."

"Don't be sorry. I'm sorry I acted like that, earlier. It was immature. You can hang out with whoever you like."

"It's okay."

We sit there in silence for a few moments, looking at everything but each other.

"You know what else I like about you? And this is the icing on the cake," he says, turning to me.

I laugh a little. "What?"

"Even though you found out about Marcus, you aren't giving me that look. Like I'm a kicked puppy or something."

"Well, you're not."

He grins, takes my face in his hands and kisses me. His lips are soft but his kiss is firm. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me, feeling the heat radiating off of his body. I run my fingers through his short hair. He lays me down on the bed and pulls back for just a second to catch his breath. I catch a glimpse of his dark blue eyes and see something I didn't see before in them, but before I recognize what is, he closes his eyes and kisses me again, more aggressively this time.

This is what I didn't want: the confusion that comes after this. I didn't come here to be wrapped up in some insignificant love triangle. If Tobias and I had something, it would hurt Peeta and I don't want to do that. I care about him way too much. He cares about me way too much.

Tobias pulls back suddenly. He studies my face. "Are you thinking about him?" he says so quietly it's almost inaudible. It's like he was reading my mind.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, "I'm just really confused right now."

He takes my hand, kisses my fingers, and then helps me up off of the bed. "Don't be sorry," he says. "I shouldn't have done that. It was stupid. I didn't think about your feelings, I just-"

"No, no it's okay; it's not your fault. It was me, too. It's just, I'm really confused, it's not you, or anything. I just don't know what I… feel right now, I guess. I'm sorry."

"No, really, don't be sorry. I didn't want to confuse you. I shouldn't have kissed you if I didn't know what you and Peeta were. He had you first. I'm sorry."

"He doesn't _have _me. We're just friends right now. I just know he likes me, too, and I didn't want to hurt him or anything."

"Really?" he smiles.

"Yeah, really." I smile back.

He scratches the back of his neck.

"I should probably go get ready for the banquet," I say.

"Okay. Don't forget, Gale's coming here."

"I wouldn't forget that," I say. I should tell him I asked Peeta to be there, so he won't be surprised when he shows up. "I, um, kind of asked Peeta to come with me, yesterday. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine," he says. I can't read his expression, but I'm not sure I want too.

"Alright, well, I'll see you soon." I make my way toward the dormitory to find Peeta.

XXX

He lies in his bed staring up at the bunk on top of his, hands folded over his stomach. He's the only one in the dormitory.

"Hey Peeta." I say, standing by the doorway.

"Hey Katniss," he says. He doesn't so much as look my way. He just keeps staring at the top bunk.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Just thinking," he says. I walk over and take a seat on his bed. "Anything you want to talk about?" I ask.

He looks at me. That twinkle of joy and bliss that's usually in his crystal blue eyes is replaced by sadness, an expression foreign on Peeta. "You were in my fear landscape today, Katniss."

An image of his unmoving body on the ground appears in my mind.

"What happened?" I ask.

"I had to watch you get tortured and killed, with no way of helping you. Hearing you scream like that… It _killed _me." He looks back up at the top bunk. "It was like someone had stabbed me a million times in the heart."

I remember Peeta in a crouch, with his hands forcefully pressed to his ears, crying. Watching me die did that to him. I was the one who broke his composer so easily. It was me.

"You know, today in my simulation, I watched you die, too. I tried to help you, but it was too late. That was one of the worst fears."

He looks at me again. "We're both afraid of losing each other."

"Yeah, I know. So you have to stay with me, okay?" I ask, taking his hand.

"Always," he says. He squeezes my hand a little. It's like we've made a silent agreement to be there for each other. An agreement that if either one of us breaks, the other will be in inevitable pain.

I squeeze his hand back. "Let's go to the banquet."

He gets out of bed and stretches a little. "Okay. You ready to see your friend, afterwards?"

"I've been ready for two years," I say.

XXX

I sit at a table with Christina, Will, Tris and Peeta. Everyone is a little nervous about the results except me. I know I must have ranked at least in the top three. I decide to try and calm them down. Their leg shaking and finger tapping is starting to irritate me.

"What job are you going to pick?" I ask Christina.

"I might want a job like Four's. Training the initiates. Scaring the living day lights out of them. You know, fun stuff. What about you?"

I really hadn't thought about it that much, to be quite honest. I did before, but now it seems irrelevant what job I get. I could be an initiate trainer, or I could guard the gates. It doesn't matter that much to me.

"I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it," I say.

"What? You're guaranteed to get in Dauntless and you haven't even thought about which job you want?" Christina asks.

I shrug. "I'll make the decision when the time comes."

"The time is coming soon," she says.

Right after she says that, a microphone squeals somewhere in the room. I look across the room at Eric, who stands on one of the tables with the microphone in hand, tapping it with his finger tips. When the Dauntless crowd quiets down, he begins.

"We aren't big on speeches here. Eloquence is for the Erudite," he says. The crowd laughs. There he goes again with his judgments, like he wasn't a part of the Erudite before. He grew up there and look at him now. "So I'm going to keep this short. It's a new year, and we have a new pack of initiates. And a slightly smaller pack of new members. We offer them our congratulations."

At the word 'congratulations' the room erupts into the pounding of fists on table tops.

"We believe in bravery. We believe in taking action. We believe in freedom from fear and in acquiring the skills to force the bad out of our world so that the good can prosper and thrive. If you also believe those things, we welcome you."

More pounding of fists accompanied by whoops. I join in this time.

"Tomorrow in their first act of members, our top ten initiates will choose their professions, in the order of how they ranked," Eric says. "The rankings, I know, are what everyone is really waiting for. They will appear on the screen behind me."

As soon as he says 'me', our names appear on the screen, which is almost as large as the wall itself. Next to number one is my picture and the name "Katniss."

I smile. I got through Dauntless initiation ranked first. That's more than an accomplishment. Will's arms wrap around me and he gives me a bear hug. Everybody is cheering and laughing and shouting. Christina points at the screen.

2. Tris

3. Uriah

5. Lynn

8. Christina

Nine and ten are Dauntless-born's whose names I don't recognize. Christina reaches across the table to hug me. Peeta claps me on the shoulder. "Congratulations, Katniss," he says.

"You too. Good job," I hug him.

Christina and Will are kissing each other like two lovers who haven't seen each other in months. All around me is the pounding of Dauntless fists. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around to see Tobias standing behind me.

"Congratulations," he says.

"Thanks."

"I hate to cut your celebration short, but we have to go. I think he's here."

"Okay," I say to him. I tap Peeta on the shoulder. "It's time to go."

Peeta and I walk out of the dining hall together, followed by Tobias a few minutes later. "Follow me," he says.

XXX

I lay on Tobias' bed, Peeta sitting next to me. Tobias paces back and forth in front of us, chewing his thumb nail, staring at the ground.

"Nervous much?" Peeta asks him.

Tobias glares at him then looks back down at the floor. "I need to tell you all something very important, but I can't until Gale gets here, and he's late."

I sit up and ask, "What is it about?"

"The Erudite."

"What is it?"

"Katniss, I have to wait for-"

We hear three slow knocks on the door. Tobias stops pacing, looks at me, and walks to the door to answer it. He turns the knob slowly and opens it. When he sees's who it is, his face lights up. A man with gray eyes, dark hair, and olive skin walks in. My heart races at the sight of him. Memories of us together flood my mind. Seeing him is like seeing my childhood.

He has grown. The only thing that has changed about him is that fact. He has stubble on his face and light circles under his eyes. But other than that, he looks like the same gorgeous Gale that I once knew.

I run and jump into his arms. He lifts me up off of the ground and kisses my cheek. I wrap my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck. "I missed you, Catnip," he says. His voice is deeper, but yet, still the same.

I'm willing myself not to cry but this nostalgia is overwhelming me. I've missed him so much. "I missed you too, Gale."

He kisses my forehead and then puts me down. I don't want to let him go. I want to disappear with him and go back to the past and live peacefully with our families, when everything was so simple.

"Tobias," Gale says, giving him a hug.

"How's it been Gale?" Tobias asks.

"Good, actually."

Peeta stands up and walks over to Gale. " Hi. I'm Peeta." Gale's eyes flick to mine and then back to Peeta. He shakes his hand. "Gale," he says.

Peeta sits back down next to me.

"I have to tell you all something," Tobias says. We all give him our full attention. "A few weeks ago, I was at work and I found a way into the Dauntless secure files. Apparently we are not as skilled as the Erudite are at security, and what I discovered was what looked like war plans. Thinly veiled commands, supply lists, maps. Things like that. And those files were sent by Erudite."

"War? That has to be what Erudite was planning," I say to Gale. He nods.

"I know," he says.

"You know?" Tobias asks.

"Yes, I know. That's why I came back," he looks from Tobias, to Peeta, to me. His expression turns serious and I see a spark of determination in his eyes as he says, "You have to leave Dauntless."


	17. Author Note

Sorry for this, I honestly hate these: When an author posts a chapter but its not actually a chapter. That makes me really mad and I'm sorry, but this is necessary…

First off- Tris is not in my story. That's the sad truth. I'm sorry if you like Tris so much you want her to be in every Divergent crossover you read but, sadly, that's not the case. Tris is a non-factor in this story. This story is about Katniss Everdeen's initiation into the Dauntless faction. If you would like to read a story about Tris you should really pull out the original Divergent.

Second off- I really don't appreciate people saying "You should do this" or "You should do that." That's what YOU want to happen. I mean, I understand and appreciate ALL of my reviews. I honestly like that the best. Reading people's thoughts on my story is the best. And I take ALL of them to heart, honestly. I just don't get how people literally TELL you what to do with your story. Suggestions are cool, like "I would like to see a little more of Tris in the story." I like that. I respect that. But "Katniss should end up with Peeta or Gale and Four and Tris should hook up." Read that sentence again…. That's not my story. That's YOUR story. Maybe you should write a story about how that happens (I don't mean this in a rude way. I'm in no way speaking sarcastically or figuratively. I LITERALLY mean maybe you should.) But that's not what I have planned for this story. At first, when I read the reviews I was thinking in terms of "I can put Tris here and maybe she can even come with them on their little journey." Then I thought, wait… That's not my story. I was writing to please the public and that's not what I want to do. I want to give you MY story and have you review it. If you think its good… great! If you don't like it…. Awesome! I respect all opinions I just don't like the fact that People are literally telling me what to do with my imagination.

And Lastly- I didn't mean this to, like, make anyone feel bad or anything. I just literally (I say literally a lot, I know. I say it a lot in real life, too :P) sit around and check my ipod everyday for reviews. I just want to be a good writer. That's all I want in life is to be an author (and actress,too, but, I digress) and that's what I'm aiming for. I love everyone who reads this story, I really do. I cannot tell a lie. I love your reviews and everything. Every single one of them. I respect them, too, and take them to heart. I'm not ignoring your Tris reviews! I had something planned for her that wasn't in the MAIN main story. It's like one of those filler chapters so you can know what's happening with her and all. I just didn't want to write her in the main story so you wouldn't get the idea that this story had ANYTHING to do with her, because it doesn't. It's Katniss' story. But I will put in a chapter for Tris. I solemnly swear. Girls scouts honor!

Ps: Reviews are appreciated (lol)

Swerve~


	18. A Tris Story: Maybe We Can Fall In Love

**A/N: Sorry this took long. I had writers block. I don't want to give to much away so I'm going to zip it till the bottom. :s**

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**Disclaimer: The character Jace belongs to Cassandra Clare.**

_I stand in the hallways of my old school, taking in the ambiance of it all: The dingy white walls, the scuffed marble floors, the teenagers rushing around the cramped hallways, the sound of lockers slamming shut._

_It's funny how a place so dreary and mundane can also be so unprecedentedly beautiful. The only place where factions integrate. It's the one place we can be together, no rules about disloyalty or rumors about one another to finite us. We're free, here, to do as we please, much like the Dauntless faction._

_Only people from the same factions sit together at lunch, or talk to each other in the hallways, but I believe that will change. We will reach out to each other, one day. We will make peace._

_Then an Erudite boy in a blue sweater shoves me. I lose my balance and fall hard on the ground. "Out of my way, stiff," he snaps, and continues down the hallway._

_And then again, maybe I'm mistaken._

The memory snaps me out of my reverie. I sit alone, in the dormitory, on my bed, thinking about what just happened. _Second place_. I ranked second.

I know that should be a huge accomplishment, but it's not enough. I'm not satisfied being second best, even though it would prove to the Erudite boy who pushed me that I'm more than just a "stiff;" I'm Dauntless. I was born to be Dauntless.

And maybe that's why I can't take second as a result.

I hear a knock on the door and a tall boy with brown skin and dark eyes walks in. "Hey, Tris," he says.

"Hey Uriah. How come you're not at the banquet?" I ask.

"Because I'm looking for you, actually. The food sucks and I was wondering if you would come with me, Marlene, and another one of our friends to a restaurant not too far from here."

"We're allowed to leave the compound?"

"Yeah, we're Dauntless now, not initiates anymore. But I asked Four, anyway. I knew you wouldn't come if I didn't," he smiles, amused.

"Well, that's considerate of you," I smile back. "Yeah, I'll come."

"Great! You might want to put on something nice, but not formal. Maybe just a skirt or something. I'll wait for you out here," he says, gesturing his thumb out the door.

XXX

I put on a pleated black skirt, pink lip gloss, and a vintage buttoned down blouse. Looking in the mirror, I take my hair out of its knot, letting my hair shoulder down around my face.

When I open the door, I see Uriah leaning against the wall, with his hands in his pockets. He's wearing black slacks with a blue t-shirt and a suit jacket. I can't help but think of how good he looks in this combination. I've never really noticed how handsome he is.

When the door opens, he looks up at me. A smile creeps across his lips. "Well, look at you. You look beautiful," he says, offering me his arm. I take it and together we walk to the train.

XXX

When we get there, I see Marlene standing with a fair boy with brass colored-blond hair, and golden luminous eyes. Every detail on him seems to be perfect. The slight upward curve of his nose. His long dark curling lashes. His strong jaw line. The way the moonlight hits him gives the illusion that he's glowing, and maybe he is. He's beautiful. I know that boys aren't supposed to be, but there isn't any other way to describe him.

"Hey guys!" Marlene exclaims. She turns to the blond boy. "Jace, this is Tris," she says gesturing at me. "Tris, this is Jace," she gestures at him and I give a little wave.

"Oh, I know Tris," he says. My name sounds like music coming from him. "It's not every day an Abnegation ranks second in the top ten," he smiles at me. The fact that he didn't use the word "stiff" has already made me gain respect for him.

"Yeah, I know. I was a little surprised myself," I say.

"I bet the others were too. You're small, but I know I wouldn't want to mess with you. You'd probably kick my butt." His smile is so genuine; I almost believe he _actually_ thinks that. I hope he's unable to see my blush.

Marlene rolls her eyes at him and looks at me. "As you can see, he's quite the charmer." The corners of his lips curl into an arrogant smirk and he winks at Marlene.

I realize that he's one of those boys who couldn't be more aware of their own physical attraction. I have never been attracted to the conceited type.

Actually, I haven't been attracted to a _type _before. Boys are new to me. I've always assumed that I would grow up and marry Robert, my next door neighbor, and we would live a happy, selfless life in Abnegation, raising and grooming our children to live the same dull, monotonous life after us. But I've completely altered the track my life was on, leading me to a lively new one here at Dauntless.

"Train!" Uriah shouts as the dim lights from the train grow brighter as it gets closer.

When the train is in front of us, I break out into a run after Marlene and Jace and jump on, landing on my butt inside of the car. Uriah jumps in right after me and lands in a crouch. He sits down next to me.

"So, we're going to this restaurant called The Lux on the other side of the compound. Lux means light in Latin. It has all these lights hanging from the ceiling and the place is blue. It's so pretty," he says. "I'm not good a describing its beauty. You'll have to see for yourself."

"Yeah. It's so awesome. And the food tastes like heaven on a plate," Marlene says.

"The way you two talk about it are getting my hopes up," Jace adds. "I sure hope it doesn't disappoint."

"Don't be such a Debbie Downer." Marlene shoves him lightly.

"I'm just saying." He says matter-of-factly. "I would hate to expect a place of great grandeur and it end up being a total dump."

"Well, it's not a total dump. Its dazzling," Uriah says.

"I, for one, can't wait to see it," I say.

"See," Jace gestures at me. "This is what I'm talking about. Hopes."

XXX

We stand outside of a rectangular shaped brick building. Blue light glows from the windows. Uriah insists I close my eyes. He puts his hands over them, too.

"My eyes are already closed," I tell him.

"I know. It's just to make sure you don't peek," he responds.

"How come Jace doesn't have to do this?"

"Because Jace doesn't show emotion. It would be pointless."

"Not true!" I hear Jace exclaim. "You want emotion? I'll show you emotion."

"Scowling is not really an emotion," Uriah says.

"Can we go in, please?" Marlene asks.

Uriah guides me forward and the temperature changes from slightly chilly to comfortably warm. I hear the clatter of silverware on plates and people talking at many volumes. The smell of food lingers in the air.

"Are you ready?" Uriah asks.

"Yup."

"One. Two. Three."

His hands drop from my face and a place of dazzling beauty unfolds before me. It's as if we have entered an enchanted restaurant. The room is big –resembling a ballroom -with hundreds of lights with blue lamp shades dangling from the ceiling at varying lengths. It looks like the northern lights. The blue light gives off a cool ambiance. I get the feeling you're not allowed to be angry or stressed in here, only calm and relaxed. The walls are covered in blue vinyl wall paper and the floor is hardwood. There are booths lined up against the walls forming a square. In the middle are multiple tables and in the back of the room is the buffet. In the corner is a grand piano with a female blond pianist playing a soft melody. There is a wide dance floor in front of the buffet tables with two couples moving swiftly to the music.

I look over at Jace who stands with his mouth agape at the splendor. The lights making him appear as if he's blue. Marlene stands next to him, looking up to catch his reaction. She laughs "Did it meet your expectations?"

He gives a stupefied snort. "Are you kidding me? This place is…._pulchritudinous_."

"What?" Marlene asks.

"Stop trying to impress us with your big words, Wayland," says Uriah.

"I meant it's beautiful, dimwits."

We walk over to the podium where a hostess with long blond hair and blue eyes stands with menus in her hand. "Hello," she says. "If you follow me, I will show you your seats."

She leads us to a booth two seats in front of the pianist. I slide in next to Marlene. Jace and Uriah sit across from us. The hostess places our menus down in front of us. "A waiter will be right with you shortly," she says and gives Jace a flirtatious smile.

When the hostess is gone, I say to Jace. "What was that all about?"

"What was what all about?" he asks, not looking up from his menu.

"That girl; Do you know her?"

Marlene snorts.

"No," is all he says.

I look off into the direction the girl went. She leans against the salad bar clutching menus to her chest, staring at Jace, her lips slightly parted, with a look of longing on her face. "She's staring at you right now," I tell him.

He looks up at me. His expression doesn't change. "Of course she is," he says. "I am stunningly attractive." He turns to see the waitress and gives her a seductive wink. Her face turns a rosy pink color.

"And stunningly arrogant," Uriah mumbles, staring at his menu.

"The meek may inherit the earth," Jace explains, "but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me."

"I just threw up in my mouth a little," Marlene says.

I can't help but smile. Jace represents everything the Abnegation are against. I should be utterly appalled by his behavior and self-gratification but I can't help but admire his carefree attitude. He doesn't care if people think he's conceited or a jerk, because he knows he is. Why try to hide it? Why try to be something you're not? Seeing him reassures my decision in choosing Dauntless. In Abnegation I was pretending to be someone I wasn't. I'm selfish and I'm not going to try to hide it.

Jace raises an eyebrow at me. I wasn't aware I was staring at him. I flick my eyes down to my menu, avoiding eye contact.

A few moments pass and a waiter with shaggy blond hair and blue eyes appears with a notepad. "Can I get you all some drinks?" He asks.

"Yes, I would like a coke, please." Marlene says.

"I'll have one too," Uriah tells him.

"Root beer," says Jace.

The waiter stops scribbling on his notepad and looks at me, "And for you?"

"I'll just have a milkshake, thank you."

"Okay. I'll be right back to take your orders for food," he says, and walks away.

"Does everyone that works here have blond hair and blue eyes?" Jace asks no one in particular. I look around at the employees with all different shades of blond hair but with similar sapphire eyes.

"Seems like it," I respond.

"Geez. Who's the manager? Hitler," he says.

We laugh and the waiter returns with our drinks and takes our orders. When he leaves, Jace directs his attention towards me.

"You never did tell me how you did it," he says.

"How I did what?"

"Oh, you know. How you out-ranked all those people, me being one of them." I try to recall Jace's picture on the ranking screen during the banquet, but nothing comes to mind.

"I don't know. I just, did it, I guess."

"Right. Or did you just blind your opponents with your deathly beauty?" he asks, taking a sip of his drink. I can feel myself blushing. I hope the low lighting prevents him from seeing it. I don't want him to think I'm one of those girls who will go crazy over him, like that hostess.

"I highly doubt that's the case," I say. I can hear the nervousness in my own voice.

"I don't know. I think my vision is blurring a little bit around the edges."

Marlene tries to inconspicuously kick Jace under the table. His eyes flick to hers. She gives her head a little shake and mouths something to him that I can't quite catch. He looks down at his lap.

What was _that_ all about, I think. Jace says nothing else and we sit in an uncomfortable silence.

The pianist changes songs, her fingers moving swiftly over the keys. She starts playing a beautiful song that reminds me of ballroom music. Couples at tables and booths get up and move to the dance floor. Uriah stands up and holds out his hand to Marlene. "May I have this dance?"

"You may." She takes his hand and they saunter off to the dance floor.

I look over at Jace who is already looking at me. He gets up from the booth. "Want to dance?" he asks me with a glorious smile.

It's amazing how in the blue lighting his hair and his eyes are still profoundly gold. His gold features and his white attire make him look like an angel, even though with his personality, he's far from it.

I nod and he guides me to the dance floor. I wrap my arms around his neck and he puts his hands on my hips. Five inches between us. "I should warn you: I'm not that great of a dancer," I tell him as we sway to the music.

He laughs a little. "I'm not worried about that," he says, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. I flinch when his fingertips brush my skin.

"What?" he asks.

"I don't want you to think I'm going to fawn over you like most girls would in this case. I'm not like that," I tell him. Looking up into his brilliant luminescent eyes, it's hard to believe the words I'm saying myself.

"Well that's a relief. I thought I was going to have to pry you off of me with a crowbar."

I roll my eyes. He laughs. "I'm kidding. I'm kind of glad to know I won't have that effect on you. It supports my theory."

I look at him curiously. "What theory?"

He looks away from me, studying the other pairs on the dance floor. "That you're not like other girls," he looks back at me. "That's a good thing."

His eyes flick to something behind me and they widen. "Well, look at that." I turn my head to see what he's referring to. Behind me Uriah and Marlene are in a tight embrace, kissing passionately while still swaying to the music. The kiss is a little sloppy for my taste but I know Uriah would just say my Abnegation is showing.

Jace must see the repulsion on my face because he laughs and asks, "What? You've never seen people kiss before?"

"No, I have. Just not so… aggressively, I guess. It can't feel too good."

"Why do you say that?"

"Holding on so tightly, their lips crashing together. It just doesn't seem pleasant," I tell him.

He shakes his head at me. "What?" I ask.

"I was beginning to think that there was no way you could be from Abnegation, judging by your astounding performance in Dauntless, but now I'm sure you are, incontestably." He doesn't say it disdainfully, but rather as if he just had an epiphany.

"And is that a bad thing?" I ask, smiling at him.

He smiles back. "Not necessarily, no. It just means you're more reserved than others, but incredibly loyal."

"It's amazing how much you can tell about me just by what faction I come from."

"There's that, and I've seen you around the compound."

I look at him with a mock astonishment. "Have you been _stalking_ me Jace Wayland?"

He laughs. But this laugh is different than the laughs he gave before. It's louder and genuine. He tilts his head back, and you can see his teeth, which are the only thing that's not perfect on him. They're slightly crooked but it doesn't take away from his beauty at all. "No, not stalking. More like _noticing_."

"So you've been _noticing_ me."

"Yeah. It's hard not to. You're striking." I'm not sure what striking means, exactly. Does that mean pretty? Regardless of my ignorance, I blush anyway.

"I'm _not_ striking," I tell him.

"Okay. So then you're beautiful."

I can tell by the way he looks that he means it. It's not artificial like how he complimented me before. His eyes and his voice are so sincere when he says it, I actually believe it. He pulls me closer to him. There is now exactly two inches between us. I can feel the heat radiating off of his body.

Uriah and Marlene come into view behind Jace. Her head rests on his shoulder and his head is on top of hers. Their fingers intertwined. They couldn't look more in love.

_Marlene._ I look up at Jace who is already looking down at me. His eyes are clouded with a dream-like haze. "What did Marlene mouth to you when we were at the table?" I ask.

His expression doesn't change when he says, "She told me not to play with you. No games."

"What does that-?" I don't get to finish my question because at that moment, the music reaches its concluding crescendo. Jace lifts my arm up and twirls me around gently and then dips me to the ground just as the music ends. He raises me up slowly and I'm met with the golden gleaming eyes of a prince. He gives me such a platonic look, it's like I'm melting in his arms.

The people on the dance floor have stopped dancing and are now giving the Pianist a friendly applause.

When we return to our seats, we see that our food has already arrived.

"Well that was fun," Marlene says. I see a flash of movement under the table and see Marlene's hand meet Uriah's over his knee. Their fingers twist together.

"Yeah," Jace's eyes meet mine with a look of great affection. "It was."

XXX

The wind from outside the train blows Jace's golden locks all over his head. I sit with my head leaning on his shoulder, his arm draped around me like a wall of protection, while Uriah and Marlene are cuddled up on the other side of the car. I look out the door into the night, shimmering with stars that sprinkle the sky like fireflies in an everlasting and inevitable darkness.

"It's pretty, isn't it?" I ask Jace, my voice low.

"Yeah, it is," he replies. "I remember when I use to be afraid of the dark."

"Really? It doesn't seem like you're afraid of much."

"I'm not. But I was afraid of the dark when I was ten. My step-mom use to sing to her other kids when it was dark. But she never sang to me."

"Why not?"

"I guess it was because I wasn't afraid of a lot so she just assumed." His voice isn't filled with self-pity.

I look up at him and he's already looking down at me. It's like he can sense I'm about to look at him so he looks at me first. He kisses my forehead. "But I'm not afraid anymore," he whispers and I can't help but think he's not talking about the dark.

XXX

All four of us stand on the pit floor. I don't like being here at night because of what happened last time with Katniss, but it's around midnight and everyone has gone to bed a long time ago.

"I guess this is where we part," Marlene says, in a middle of a yawn. "It's way late."

"Yeah. I'll walk you back to your room, Tris." Uriah offers.

"I'll walk her," Jace says. "You two go on to bed."

"Okay. Bye Tris. See you in the dorm, Jace."

Jace and I walk hand in hand down the corridor leading to the room. We're silent for a few moments before I ask him, "What did you mean, earlier, when you said Marlene told you not to play games with me?"

He hesitates before answering. "She just meant not to do with you what I usually do with normal girls."

"And what do you usually do with normal girls?"

"Flirt, throw around my charm, compliment them," he says nonchalantly. My heart sinks. So everything he said wasn't true. He was just playing games. I let my hand fall to my side.

He looks at me, alarmed. "But that's what I'm _not_ doing with you. I said that's what I do with _normal_ girls and I told you; you're different."

"And how do I know that's not just something you say to all girls?"

"It's not," he turns around and gets in front of me, blocking my path to the dormitory. "You have to believe you're different. I don't say that to all girls, I'm not a liar."

I look at the ground, not sure if I should believe him or not. He tilts my chin up gently so I can look into his eyes. "I really would like to get to know you better, Tris," he says softly and sincerely.

I feel my heartbeat quicken at his touch. Five inches between us. "It's a shame," I tell him.

His eyes study my face. "What's a shame?"

"I really didn't want you to have the effect on me, like you're having now."

The corners of his lips turn upward into a smile. He pulls me toward him, closing the distance between us, and leans his head down, his lips brushing mine. I pull away slightly, just to get a good look at him and his radiant eyes and his perfectly golden features. His angelic face and his brass-colored hair that gently brushes my face because of how close we are. _You are beautiful_, I think.

"Funny," he whispers. "I was just about to say the same about you."

I feel no embarrassment for having said the words out loud. He kisses me again, fiercely this time, his lips warm and soft. I wrap my arms around his neck and feel his fingers slide into my hair. I can feel the blood rushing through my veins and his heartbeat through my shirt. My lips open automatically and his hands slide from my hair, down to my lower back. He backs me up against the wall and plants a trail of kisses down my neck. I run my fingers absent-mindedly through his hair. He kisses me again, his tongue slipping into my mouth. I cup my hands on his neck to pull him as close to me as possible. I start sliding down the wall involuntarily and He lifts me up off of the ground and starts carrying me toward the room. I can't help but laugh.

"What are you doing?" I ask him.

"I turned you into jelly, so I thought I'd carry you," he says.

I look into his eyes for a few moments, still running my fingers through his hair. "You're not what I thought you were," I tell him.

"Oh yeah? What did you think I was?"

"A conceited jerk."

"Well, I am a conceited jerk. Just not as big of a conceited jerk as you presumed," he sets me down in front of the dorm.

"I had a good time tonight," I say.

"Me too. I hoped I changed your mind"

"Changed my mind about what?"

"Kissing aggressively. Did it turn out to be pleasant for you?" he asks with an amused smile on his face.

I laugh. "It did actually. Maybe you can show me again."

He leans down and kisses me softly. "Maybe. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. You will."

He takes my hand, kisses it, and walks away. I turn the knob to the dorm and hear him say. "Tris?" I look up and seem him. "Yeah?"

He smiles a stunning, genuine smile. "Keep an open mind, okay?" he says. "Maybe we can fall in love."

* * *

**A/N: I'm not even sure if it's allowed to put Jace in this. Don't tell on me though, lol. Please. I felt compelled because Im reading TMI right now. And just to clear things up, I wasn't mad at anyone or had any ill feelings towards ANYONE who reads this story. I really appreciate reviews, all of them. That's the truth, i tell you. Also, it might be a little longer before i post the next chapter because the next one is going to be a little longer, probably, and I want to make it perfect. I think that's all, for now. Reviews and suggestions are appreciated. I don't know if you would want to see more of Tris and Jace or not. The title was inspired by that Brandy song with Chris Brown, Put it Down. It was stuck in my head so i said "Hey, Why not?" I don't know. REVIEW. lol. Thanks.**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: This took longer than expected because school has been HECTIC. I honestly didn't think 8th grade would be that much harder than 7th lol, but it is what it is. And i'm actually trying to be SOCIAL this year. But here is the chapter. We are litterally, like, two or three chapters from the end. It's bitter-sweet, really. And i have that other story about Gale in District two after the war (which you should read, haha) Reviews are appreciated! :)**

* * *

I feel my heart drop into my stomach. It feels like the wind has been knocked out of me. Peeta looks at Gale in disbelief and Tobias stands expressionless with his eyes trained on the floor.

"What do you mean _'leave Dauntless'?"_ I ask even though I already know the answer. "What does that mean?"

"Katniss," Gale says, almost sympathetically but not quite, "You have to leave. Not just Dauntless. Chicago."

"Why, though?" Peeta asks. He looks disheveled and he has that same clouded look in his eyes that I saw in them after he finished his fear landscape.

Gale looks at Peeta as if he forgot he was even here. "We're about to be in the middle of a full blown war. It's not safe at Dauntless or Erudite or Abnegation."

Peeta looks at me as if asking permission. "I'm doing whatever you do. If you want to stay, I'll stay with you."

I look at Tobias who still has his eyes trained on the floor. "Tobias," I say gently, "Are you going to go…" I trail off when he looks up at me. I can tell all of his emotions have been wiped clean and he's back to being the stern, impassive, instructor I'm not too fond of but still slightly comfortable with.

"What other choice do we have? Stay here and be obliterated in an inexorable bloodshed? We have to go."

"And what about our families?" Peeta inquires.

"I got them out a week ago. Prim, your mother, and-"

"What about…" Tobias says, trailing off mid sentence.

"I didn't know if you would want me to…. So I didn't." Gale looks sorry for him.

"No. It's okay. I wouldn't want you to," Tobias tells him.

"And what about _my_ family?" Peeta almost sounds like a toddler whining over a confiscated toy when he says it. "Are we just going to leave them here?"

Tobias scowls at him. "No one said you had to go," he crosses his arms over his chest. "The Candor faction should remain completely unscathed in the war so you could always just run back there."

Peeta looks at him with infinite disgust. "But I'm _Dauntless_ now, Not Candor. And besides, if you think I'm just going to leave Katniss then you're insane."

"Katniss doesn't need _you _to protect her."

"I don't need _anybody_ to protect me!" I half shout. "I can handle myself, like I've always done. But I'm not going if Peeta doesn't."

Tobias's shield of emotion wavers slightly, but it's so faint and quick you could have barely noticed it, and he's back to his authoritative air. "Fine," he says. "The baker comes."

"Who put you in charge?" Peeta mumbles under his breath.

"Come _where_, exactly?" I direct my question towards Gale. "Where could we possibly be going?"

"Oh, Katniss," Gale says. "There is so much more to this world than you know."

"And what does _that _mean?" Peeta asks.

"It means that there is a whole nother' life outside the fence. And even though it has a hamartia, it's better than what we can expect by staying here," Gale explains.

Tobias asks, "When are we leaving and how are we going to get past the fence and the Dauntless who guard it?"

"We're leaving right now. And don't worry about that," Gale smiles. "I joined a resistance group against the factions when I first left. We have people all over Chicago who do little things to help the fall of the factions; we even have some people who work in the government and as well as at the fence. They're the ones who can get us out of the city."

XXX

We stand in the familiar field of vibrant colored green grass in front of the gate that surrounds the city. The setting sun paints the sky an opulent pink and orange. It reminds me of the picnic Peeta and I had on the top of the dauntless compound. The wind is blowing fiercely causing strands of hair to escape my braid and whip around in front of my face.

"Follow me!" Gale shouts over the feral roar of the wind. We follow him up the slight hill to the gate where we are met by two guards. They wear green uniforms that resemble the uniforms of the army that once fought for our ancestors that were the citizens of our great country before us. They also carry two long guns in hand.

About a mile down the fence, to the left is a tall white building. I hadn't noticed it when we came before. It seems unexplainably random to be there in front of the fence. I wonder what they could possibly use it for, since the guards don't live here; they take shifts.

"Good day to you," Gale says to the guards. They nod their heads. One of them is an incredibly handsome bronze-haired man who looks like he can't be more than twenty-five. The other one has a mop of straight mahogany hair on his head and doesn't look to nice. "Reason for admittance?" He asks.

Gale looks the man in the eyes and says, "Fire is catching."

The mahogany haired man looks at his partner and they nod at each other. The bronze-haired man turns to us and says, "It will be a pleasure to escort you, fellow Mockingjay. This way," he says gesturing for us to follow him.

We follow him towards the white building that gradually grows taller as we draw closer to it. Soon, we're standing in front of it. The building has no windows, just a steel gray door without a handle, and a small square thing on the wall next to it.

The man takes out a card from his pocket and swipes it over the square. It makes a beeping noise and the steel door slides open. The man gestures for us to enter. The room beyond is small with a desk to one wall, a tall brown bookshelf on another, a black staircase leading upwards through a hole in the ceiling big enough for a person to fit through and one oil lamp attached to the wall that provides the room's lighting.

The steel door slides shut behind us and when it does, the guard seems to loosen up. He takes off his jacket and flings it on the desk. "Phew. Aren't I glad to be in here? It was cold as the devils lair out there."

"That's a contradiction," Peeta says. "Why would Satan's lair be cold, of all things?"

"Because, kid. Hell froze over a long time ago. I should know. I've been there and back." He extends his hand toward him. "Finnick Odair."

Peeta shakes it hesitantly. "Peeta Mellark."

"Finnick will be guiding us through the tunnel, under the gate, and from there we will make our way to the city," Gale explains.

"I thought we were trying to get _away _from the city," I say.

"It's a different city," Finnick says. "And the journey shouldn't take that long. Maybe two or three days tops."

"Two or three _days_?" Tobias asks. "That _is_ long. We don't have any food or water or-"

"Don't worry about that." Finnick says. "We have that covered. I'll be right back." He jogs up the steps and vanishes.

Gale turns and looks at us. "He's going to get us backpacks. They have food and water and bandages in it. It would be best to ration the food and water since we'll be in the woods."

"_Woods_?" I ask.

"Yes, Katniss. Woods. You and I have been camping before."

"Yeah but not for that long. How are we going to survive in the woods for three days? No tents or anything."

"We have food and water. That's all we need. We'll be okay. I've done this before plenty of times."

If he's done this before that means he's been in Chicago plenty of times before. And not once did he come and see me or even check to see if I was okay.

Finnick appears with a back pack strung over his shoulder and three more in his hands. He hands each of us one. "I put jackets in the zipper parts so you all wouldn't get cold."

"Thanks Fin," Gale says, looping his arms through the backpack straps.

"Now where is this tunnel you speak of?" Peeta asks.

Finnick smiles guilefully and walks over to the bookshelf. "Right here," he says and tips one of the book's spines forward. A piece of the wall slides up next to the bookshelf revealing a brown wooden door.

"Wow. I thought that only happened in movies," Peeta states.

"Let me tell you: everything you see in the movies is real," says Finnick. "Follow me." He opens the door and leads us down the steps into the cool mustiness of a dark corridor lit in intervals by torches on the wall.

XXX

I hear rats chittering and scampering around in the corners of the tunnel. The tunnel smells like mildew and fungi and I hear the dampness of the ground squish under my boots. It's hard to tell how long we've been walking. At least an hour and a half. We've been walking in silence the whole time. I hear my stomach rumble and clench my belly. The last time I ate was at the banquet and that was hours ago. Finnick slows down from his lead at the front to walk beside me. I hear something crunch in his mouth as he chews. The others are a few yards in front of us since I've been lagging behind. "Are you hungry?" Finnick asks me.

"Yes."

He opens his palm to reveal three small white blocks. "Sugar cube?"

I shake my head. "I'll pass." He shrugs and looks at me. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, I'm fine," I say, although I'm not. I feel bad about leaving behind Christina and Will and Tris back at Dauntless. They're going to be a part of the war, now. We should have at least warned them, but Gale said we had to leave _now_. No goodbyes or anything or they might suspect something was up. I don't care, though. They're my friends and I should have said _something._

"I can tell when something is wrong with someone. And maybe I can help. I _am_ a good empathizer," he says.

I sigh and tell him everything that's been on my mind. I even tell him about the cliché love triangle I've gotten myself wrapped up in. It feels good to just let it all out. I feel like a burden has been lifted even though, technically, it's still there.

"Wow. You clearly aren't fine," he says.

I laugh a little. "I know. It's all so much. And now we're just leaving."

"Maybe it's a good thing. You're going to start a whole new life where you're going. You're lucky to just get a redo like that. And maybe someday you can even come back for your friends."

"If they aren't killed."

"I don't think it's that type of war."

"Then what type of war is it?"

"It's hard to explain," he says. "I definitely think they'll be alive at the end of it, though. And as for your little boy troubles... All I have to say is follow your heart. I know it's not original but it's the best advice I have in the situation."

"It's good advice," I say sarcastically.

"I know, right? But in all seriousness, you just have to figure out which one will bring you out of your darkness. Which one of them is the light at the end of your tunnel?"

Just as he says that, we exit out of the tunnel into a forest lit only by the vast amount of stars in the sky that twinkle like fairies in a child's lullaby. It's beautiful, really. It's like silver glitter in a black-blue ocean. The crescent moon shines brightly.

"And this is where I leave you all," Finnick says.

"Thanks for your help, Fin," Gale says hugging him.

"It was no problem. It was nice meeting you all, and I'll see you at the great city," With a wink of an eye, he vanishes back into the tunnel.

We all turn around to face the everlasting bulk of trees that stand before us.

"Looks like we're on our own, now," Tobias says.

"Don't worry, Tobias," Gale reassures him. "This is nothing. Just wait until we get to the city."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: LAST CHAPTER! LAST CHAPTER! LAST CHAPTERRRRRRRRRR! I know I suck. It's been over a month since i've updated. (Life's been hectic) BUT THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER LETS CELEBRATEE! Or cry... whichever one fits! I still have to post the epilogue so I'll save my thanks and goodbyes for then. But for right now: enjoy the last chapter of Hunger For Divergence. Reviews are appreciated! :)**

* * *

_I lay on his bed, His arms pinning me down, looking up into his mysterious eyes. He slowly plants a trail of kisses down my jaw line. The three inches between our bodies suddenly feels like miles. I ache for his touch. _

_His lips brush mine gently and then he kisses me again but with more force. He knots his hands in my hair. I can feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins like a rushing river. But something's missing internally. Like a missing piece of a puzzle or a favorite lost toy. He draws back, but only a little._

_"What would you say if I told you I would die for you, Girl on fire?" his quiet voice soothes me and I feel all my problems slip away. I gaze into his deep dark blue eyes for a moment. "I would say that I can't live without you, Four." He is mine, I am his, anything else is unthinkable_.

XXX

I wake up to the crackling of a fire. My mouth tastes like something crawled in it and died.

I find it odd that after what happened between Peeta and me last night; I still had a dream about Tobias.

After our long walk through the tunnel, we walked about a mile into the perpetual darkness of the forest and then basically collapsed of exhaustion. Gale started a fire and then he and Tobias went to sleep. Peeta and I stayed up, watching the fire's flames rise and fall, listening to it crackle.

And then Peeta broke the silence and said. "I know you have a difficult choice."

He caught me off guard. I looked at him, surprised a little. I didn't know he knew about Tobias. He didn't look up at me, just continued watching the fire. "And I know that he is in love with you."

How, Peeta? How could you possibly know these things when I don't even know them myself?

"But I also know that I am in love with you. I have loved you since I was five and I will love you until I die."

I wish I could say the same, Peeta. But I can't, not yet, and that's not fair to you. But I do care for you Peeta. I care for you so much it hurts. I just don't know if I love you. I barely know what love is.

"You don't have to say anything," he said. "I just want you to know that my feelings have and have always ran deeper than some crush. I just want you to know that-"

I stopped his lips with a kiss and felt something stir deep inside me. The warmth of his lips spreads through my entire body. It felt as though I had satisfied an extensive yearning. Have I been yearning for Peeta?

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me the closest I had ever been to him. And it all just felt so _right_. Not like when I kissed Tobias and all I could think about was Peeta. But not now. All there is is me and him.

XXX

I lift my head off of my jacket, or makeshift pillow, and look at the figure who is sitting behind the fire.

"Good morning," Tobias says smiling. "Have a nice dream?"

I can feel my face turning crimson. Tobias must see my blush because he then laughs and says, "Yeah, you talk in your sleep."

"Ugh," I say covering my face with my hands.

"It's okay. We all have sexy dreams once in a while," he muses.

"It's not funny."

"You're right," he says, an amused expression still evident on his face. "It's not."

I look to my side and find Peeta sleeping with his hands under his cheek, acting as a pillow. Gale sleeps on the other side of Tobias, facing away from the fire into the vast amount of trees.

"Would you, by chance, know what time it is?" I ask.

"No, not exactly," Tobias says, turning to look up at the sky. "But judging by the color of the sky, I would say its early morning." He stands up, brushing off the dirt on the back of his pants. "We should probably wake them up so we can get going."

I nod and turn to shake Peeta awake. "Peeta," I say in a sing-song voice. "Wake up." His eyelids flutter open and for a moment he looks startled and confused, as if he's forgotten why he is in the woods, and then his eyes rest on mine and a faint smile appears on his face.

"What a pleasant way to wake up," he says.

"I wish I could say the same thing," Gale says, looking up at Tobias.

"My beauty too much for you?" Tobias asks.

Gale grabs his backpack and unzips it, peering inside. "Something like that," he says. "We don't have much food. We should get going."

I stand up and put my jacket on. I hear my stomach rumble. I haven't had anything to eat since yesterday at the banquet. I'm starving.

Peeta reaches into his backpack and pulls out a granola bar. He offers it to me. "Hungry?"

I take it with yearning. "Very. Thanks."

"Let's get moving." Gale commands. He's extinguished the fire and he hands me my backpack. "We have a long journey."

XXX

It seems like we've been walking for an eternity and no matter how long or how far we walk, it's always the same landscape: Plants (none of them edible), grass, trees, animals, and bugs; An even blend of multiple shades of green and brown. The sun is almost at its peak so it has to be almost noon. I feel sweat trickle down the side of my head.

My appetite is gone. I've had three granola bars since we left this morning. I guess that was enough to fill me.

"So tell me, how have you been?" Gale, walking beside me with his hands in his pockets, staring upwards at the sky, asks me.

"I've been… well enough, I suppose. But I'm not the one who has been off being a prince in some far away fairytale land. How have _you _been?"

He chuckles. "I haven't been off being a prince. I've made a life."

"Better than your life at home?"

"I'm… not so sure yet." He says. I can tell by the look on his face that there are a million things running through his mind. It's amazing how after two years of not seeing him, I can still read him like an open book.

I raise my eyebrows at him as if to say, "Elaborate," but he continues on without a glance in my direction.

"At sixteen you make impulsive decisions all the time. You do without thinking of the consequences that may come as a result. I use to think I was better than that. I thought I was more than the average teenager. But now –looking back on it all –I'm not too sure."

"Gale," I look at him. "What are you saying?"

He takes in a deep, long breath and continues, "I thought this life would be better, the one I have in Panem, I mean. I thought that _anything _was better than being classified and organized into little groups like animals or food. I was _so_ sure of myself then, when I ran off. I just knew there was something more than Chicago…" he hesitates, "but different doesn't always mean better."

"Wait, Gale. Why would you take us to-"

"Hey guys look!" Peeta shouts, pointing at a bush with black berries on it. The berries look familiar. I know them from a class I took in survival. I know they're harmless, I just can't think of their name. _Nightshadow?_ I think. _No, that's not it. Nightchain? No._

"It's a bush," Tobias says flatly, looking slightly annoyed.

"But look what is _on_ the bush," Peeta says, picking off a few berries. He holds out his palm to me. "Would you like some?"

I shake my head. "No thank you, I'm good."

He shrugs and plops a few into his mouth.

"You know, maybe we _shouldn't _eat wild berries on strange bushes in the middle of the forest," Tobias says to Peeta, arms crossed, looking mildly disgusted.

"It's better than eating granola bars all day," he responds.

"Let's keep moving guys," Gale says. "We should make it there by tomorrow if we keep up this pace." He walks ahead of us, completely forgetting our conversation. Or did he forget on purpose?

XXX

The sun has gone down, leaving the sky a dark purple, like a serene ocean at nightfall. We've all been walking in silence for hours, Gale and Tobias lost in thought, and Peeta observing the flowers and trees, his eyes thick with curiosity.

We are all exhausted but Gale has refused to stop to rest. He's determined to get there soon. There is obviously something, or someone, he misses. I can see it in his eyes.

Next to me Peeta is turning red and is unconsciously scratching his arms and throat. Tobias glances over at him and says "I bet eating those berries didn't seem like a good idea to you now, does it?"

Peeta looks at Tobias, clearly dazed, as if he forgot he was in the presence of human beings. "Oh um… What?" He asks.

"Peeta," I look at him closely. His face is a bit swollen and his forehead is slick with sweat "Are you okay?"

He yawns and stretches his arms into the air. "Yeah I'm fine. Just a little tired."

I look at Gale whose back is turned to us, as if he can't hear our conversation. "Gale, did you hear that?" I ask, trying to get his attention. "He needs to rest."

I see him take a deep breath and then he turns around abruptly. "Fine. We'll camp out here tonight, but we have to get up early. We're only a few miles out from the district and I don't want to stop now."

"Well Peeta's getting a rash and he's tired. Would you like to carry him?" It comes out a lot sharper than I intended it to, but Gale is unfazed by it.

He puts down his bag and starts to walk away. "I'll get go wood for the fire."

XXX

I lay with my head on a log- while Peeta slumbers next to me- staring up at the night sky filled with stars that I rarely get to see in the city. I imagine them all having a name and a mother, father and siblings. I imagine them all having a life with friends and a home and eventually when that star burns out and dies, everyone that star has affected, everyone who's life that star has touched, will feel empty. And maybe even some of them will _be_ empty.

It's amazing how similar human beings and stars can be.

I look over at Tobias who sits on the ground with his hands behind him for support, looking up at the stars. He looks how a small child would in a museum, gazing up at something precious and rare, nothing but pure, innocent youth in his eyes.

I also see that he is shaking a little… No, he's _shivering_. He pulls his jacket tighter around his body.

Gale went to get wood for the fire about two hours ago. Where could he be?

I sit up and look at Tobias. "Tobias," I say. He jumps a little, clearly thinking I was asleep. "Where is Gale?"

"I don't know." He says, standing up. "I was just wondering the same thing. I'll go look for him."

"Okay. I'll go with you."

"You stay here with Peeta."

"But-" I begin to protest.

"No, Katniss." His tone is final. "I'll be back soon. Just go to sleep."

He turns to leave but before he disappears into the thick mass of trees, we lock gazes for a few moments.

_Come back to me,_ I think.

He nods his head a little and then he's gone.

XXX

Eventually I must have fallen asleep because I wake up to the bright glow of morning. I turn over and find Tobias sleeping next to me with one arm around his head, lips parted. It's amazing how child-like he looks. I think about how I've gotten to know the strict, over-protective, instructor, Four, but I haven't gotten to know the real him, which is Tobias, the young, innocent, boy from Abnegation.

There are two sides to him, like there are to me. We've both had to put up protective shields around ourselves and had to hide our true colors from the world. We've both just had to be _strong_ at a young age. We both have a blazing fire within us and together is that a good thing?

I look and see that a fire wasn't started last night and Gale still hasn't returned. I gently shake Tobias. "Wake up," I whisper.

His eye lids flutter open and he sits up and looks at me with his dark blue eyes. "Katniss-" he starts.

"You didn't find him?"

"No. I couldn't. I looked for hours but…" he trails off, looking behind me.

I feel my stomach tighten. Where could Gale be? I know he couldn't have left us. He wouldn't do that. Would he? He _was_ acting kind of distant before he left to go get wood. Could he have-

"Katniss. Look." Tobias eyes are big and full of concern. He's pointing to something behind me. I slowly turn around and find Peeta sleeping with his head on the log. Except his head is… _bigger. _It's swollen, and so are his arms and hands.

"Peeta?" I whisper. I turn to Tobias. "What's wrong with him? What happened?"

Tobias kneels down in front of him and puts two fingers to his neck, I assume, checking his pulse. He closes his eyes and lets out a breath. "He's breathing. Those berries he ate must have been poisonous."

My heart sinks. "Poisonous?! Is he going to die?"

"When the rash spreads to his throat, he will stop breathing." Tobias says. "We have to go. Maybe there are some healers in the city." He shakes Peeta. "Peeta, wake up. We have to go, Peeta. Wake up!"

Peeta sits up and I can see that his eyes are almost swollen shut. When he talks his words are slurred. "Whaf if going on?"

"Peeta, those berries you ate were poisonous. We have to hurry to the city. Gale said yesterday that we were almost there. We have to get you to a healer." Tobias slings one of Peeta's arms around his neck and hauls him up off of the ground. Peeta makes a grunting noise.

"What about Gale?" I ask.

"What do you want me to do Katniss? We _have_ to get to the district. It's crucial that-"

A loud hissing sound cuts him off. I look at where the sound came from and see that slithering out from one of the holes on the surface of the log is a long pale red snake with faint blue spots.

Tobias curses and backs away from the log slowly, pulling Peeta with him.

"Don't move, Katniss." Tobias' tone is low, but urgent. "That snake is very poisonous."

"How can you tell?" I whisper.

"The color of its spots. One bite from that thing and you will die an agonizingly slow, painful death."

I can feel the lump in my throat. By now the snake has made its full ascent from the hole and it sits there, with its body swirled up under it, staring at us like its deciding which one of us he should eat first.

My heart beat quickens with fear as the snake slowly descends down off of the log.

"Katniss don't move." Tobias whispers. "Any small sound or movement can provoke it into attacking us."

Several things happen at once.

Peeta's arm slips from around Tobias' neck. He falls to the ground, cracking twigs underneath of him. The snake's head whips towards Peeta's limp body. It hisses, and glides across the grass towards him, moving so fast I can barely keep my eyes on it.

"Peeta!" I shout and just as the snake opens its mouth to bite him, a large rock the size of a human head comes crashing down on the snake's head. The snake's body spasms and shake's violently, trying to escape the crushing weight of the rock on its head, and then soon goes limp under it.

I run over and kneel beside Peeta's body, his red swollen face and eyes swollen shut. I move blonde strands of hair out of his eyes. "Oh, Peeta." My heart aches for him.

"Is he alright?" A familiar voice asks. I look up to find Gale towering over us.

"You threw the rock?" I ask. He nods solemnly.

"Well, thanks for finally showing up," Tobias walks over, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Glad you were there when we needed you."

"I-"

"Save it," Tobias says, hauling Peeta to his feet. "We still have miles to go."

XXX

After three hours of traversing through the vivid green, damp wilderness, Peeta losing consciousness twice, Tobias cursing and ranting about how heavy Peeta is, and Gale being completely silent (not uttering a single word to any of us since he saved us), we come to a stop before a high chain-linked fence topped with barbed-wire loops, behind which lies a scruffy yellow- grassed field.

Tobias slides Peeta's body off of his shoulder and unto the grass in front of the fence. He leans over him and gives his cheek a quick slap. "Hey. Wake up."

Peeta's eyes open- at least I think they open. His eyes are so swollen I can hardly see the blue in them- he sits up and says "Wherf aw we?"

Tobias turns to Gale. "This is it?"

Gale nods his head and walks to the front of the fence. He leans over, sticking his ear close to the fence, listening for something, and then flattens out on his belly and slides under a two- foot stretch under the fence.

Once he's on the other side, he turns to us. "Well, what are you waiting for? Go under so you can see your new home."

Tobias and I mimic Gale's movements, quickly sliding under the fence, and then Tobias turns around to help Peeta. Once we're all over, we stand side by side, taking in the surroundings of our new home and of our new life.

"Well guys, welcome to District twelve: the finest district in all of Panem." Gale says, gesturing with open arms to the empty field that lies before us.

"This is it?" Tobias asks.

"Of course not, this is only the Meadow. Don't worry; you're only a few yards from civilization." Gale says, and starts walking towards the end of the field.

We begin to follow him, but a few feet out, Peeta collapses onto the ground into a fit of spasms, his arms bent at odd angles, his legs twitching rapidly. I run and kneel down next to him. The tears begin to blur my vision. "What's happening to him?!" I ask Tobias as he kneels down beside me. "What's going on?!"

"The venom is spreading. He only has a few minutes before it takes his life." He looks up at Gale. "Where is the nearest healer?"

Gale bends down and scoops Peeta up into his arms. "I'll take him to the best healer in all of District twelve. Come on, her house isn't too far from here."

He begins to jog to the end of the field. I have to run to catch up with him. "Who is it?" I ask.

He doesn't look back at me when he says. "Your mother."


	21. Epilogue

"In penance for their uprising, each district shall offer up a male and female between the ages of 12 and 18 at a public "Reaping." These Tributes shall be delivered to the custody of the Capitol. And then transferred to a public arena where they will fight to the Death until a lone victor remains. Henceforth and forevermore this pageant shall be known as The Hunger Games."

XXX

"_And so it was decreed, that each year the twelve districts of Panem shall offer up in tribute one young man and woman, between the ages of 12 and 18, to be trained in the art of survival, and to be prepared to fight to the death."_

I stand in a group of sixteen year old girls looking up at the temporary stage where a woman in a pink wig and lime green suit, with two glass bowls full of slips on either side of her, stands in front of a microphone.

"I just love that!" Effie trinket exclaims, her pink wig shifting slightly off of her head. In Chicago, no one would be caught dead wearing anything like that. She looks oddly out of place. What, with her neon colors and everybody else in dull whites and grays. She's a rock in the middle of some pebbles.

Effie continues on about how being here is an "honor" and she lists the names of District twelve's past victors.

Through the crowd, I spot Tobias looking back at me. He put his index finger to his mouth and fake gags. I smile at him weakly.

Am I taking this too seriously? Maybe Gale was right. What are the odds? There are, God knows how many, names in that bowl. I only had to enter my name once and I made sure Prim did too.

But then there is Gale, and Peeta, and Tobias. What will happen to them? They entered their names a second time for tesserae, grain, and oil. That increases their chances of getting picked.

I guess that since there are a thousand more slips in that bowl, their chances aren't increased by that much.

So why am I so scared?

It's time for the drawing. "Ladies First!" Effie announces, her Capitol accent strong, and crosses to the bowl with the girl's names. She reaches in, digs her hand deep into the bowl, and pulls out a slip of paper.

I hold my breath as she walks back to the microphone, desperately hoping that it's not me. Effie unfolds the slip and reads into the microphone.

"Zinnia Dartmouth."

The group of girls beside me, split to let out a girl with long fiery orange-red hair and freckles. For a minute she just stands there, out in the open, gawking at the stage. She is very pretty with her full pink lips. Her pale complexion brings out her rotund hazel eyes.

"Come on, dear." Effie urges her.

When she finally walks up to the stage, Effie has her introduce herself and then she continues on to draw from the boy's bowl.

Effie walks over to the bowl and grabs another slip of paper. She walks back to the microphone and reads out the name in a clear voice.

And it's like it knocks the wind out of me. My heart stops and I'm unable to speak or breathe as I repeat the name again and again in my head, trying desperately to change it into someone else's. I see him standing in the crowd looking up at the stage, wide-eyed and stunned. That's what knocks me into reality.

Someone is gripping my arm, a boy, and I think maybe I started to fall and he caught me.

This can't be real.

Not him.

There must have been a mistake.

_Not him._

XXX

**6 days before**

"So you're positive he's going to be okay, right?" I ask my mom, referring to the sleeping baker on the couch.

After Peeta had a spasm attack, Gale rushed him here to my mother so she could give him herbs to help with the poison. It turns out the berries he ate were a toned down version of Nightlock berries.

That was five days ago and Peeta is still recovering from it. I check on him every day and do things like give him his medicine or read to him. Whatever it takes to make him feel better.

"For the millionth time: Yes, Katniss. Peeta is _fine_. You're worrying too much. All he needed was a little nap."

I let out a sigh and sit down at the kitchen table, my head in my hands. My mother comes and sits in the chair next to me and rubs circles on my back. "It's okay Katniss. You know, maybe you need a nap too. You've been taking care of this boy day and night. I know you must be exhausted."

I fold my arms on the table and lay my head on top of them. "No," I say. "I just want him to get better, is all."

"He _is_ getting better. You just need to calm down and not worry so much. You're living in a new place and I bet you haven't even explored it. You haven't met anyone new. You haven't made any friends."

"Mother, this is not my first day of school," I snap.

A hurt look appears on her face. I soften my tone.

"I'm in a strange place I don't know, the boy I…" I hesitate for a second. "… care about is not well and Gale is still acting strange. It's a lot to take in in a week."

"I know, Katniss. I know. And that's why I'm suggesting you go upstairs and _sleep. _Your body needs it. I should know; I'm the nurse here. It's getting late anyway."

Maybe my mother is right. I've barely gotten enough sleep these past few days. I've been too busy worrying about Peeta and everything else that's going on, I haven't had any time to just rest.

I stand up, scooting my chair back and walk towards the steps to my bedroom. Before I go I turn to my mom, with her graying pale blond hair and her few wrinkles but under that lies the beauty from her youth. "Thanks mom. I love you."

The memory of my mother and me on the couch crying together just four days ago flashes through my mind. It was me telling her how much I missed her, and not just for the amount of time I was in Dauntless. Five years. I've missed her since my father's death. For five years she was a different woman than the one who raised me. For five years I didn't even want to think of her as my mother. I've missed her. "I love you mom," I said.

And I really do.

XXX

**5 days before**

I wake up to a loud banging on my bedroom door.

"Katniss! Wake up!" Gale's voice is slightly muffled through the door.

The sun shines through my window into my eyes. How long have I been sleeping? My head is throbbing and have this foul taste in my mouth. I roll over and put my pillow over my head. "Go away!" I yell back.

"Come on, Katniss! I have someone I want you to meet!"

"I don't want to meet anybody!" I shout.

"Katniss, I can't hear you through your pillow _and_ your door." He sighs. "Just be ready in twenty minutes or I'm coming in there." I hear his footsteps pad down the stairs.

Why is he being so social all of a sudden? He's barely said anything to me since we got here, and who could I possibly need to meet?

I roll out of bed and go into the bathroom to take a shower. After I braid my hair and brush my teeth, I slip on some boots and a jacket and head downstairs.

I'm met downstairs by the smell of freshly baked bread. In the kitchen, Peeta is bent over taking the loaves out of the oven, his blonde hair is still a tousled mess.

I sit down at the counter. "Good morning."

He sets the loaves of bread down in front of me. "Good morning, Katniss. I see Gale finally managed to drag you out of bed."

"Yeah," I say. "Do you happen to know what time it is?"

"About noon."

"I slept till noon?"

"Well, yeah. You needed it though. You must have been tired, taking care of me this whole week."

He looks so much better than he did five days ago. His skin is not that pale sickly green, but a baby pinkish color. His crystal blue eyes are no longer clouded and his charming personality is back. "It was worth it. I'm just glad you're better."

He looks up at me with a shy smile as he cuts the loaves in half.

Just then Gale barges through the front door and strides towards the steps. He does a double take when he sees me and smiles. "There you are. I was just about to go up there and kick down your door."

"I'm glad you didn't. You would have been thoroughly disappointed."

He laughs and looks at Peeta. "Hey Peeta, are there any strawberries in the fridge?"

"Uh, yeah. I think so."

"Great. Could you put them in a bag for me?"

"Okay."

"Thanks."

"Strawberries?" I ask. "You don't even eat strawberries. At least, that's what I remember."

"No, you're right." Gale says. "I don't eat strawberries."

"So why-"

"You'll see." Gale says.

XXX

District twelve is so much different than Chicago. There are way less people milling around and bumping into you. It's definitely smaller. It has a totally different ambiance. Here the people seem…sadder. As if some well known and well liked person has died. I wonder why that is…

Gale and I are walking towards the middle of town. Whenever I ask him who I'm going to meet, he just responds 'you'll see.'

Finally we stop at a fairly large white house with a blue door and blue shutters on the windows. It looks much better than most of the houses I've seen here in District twelve. Whoever lives here must be rich. "Who lives here?" I turn to Gale.

He starts walking up toward the front door. "The mayor." He says when we're on the porch. He rings the door bell and I hear it make that 8-note ring that you usually hear when ringing the doorbell of a big house. "You're taking me to meet the mayor?"

"No, not the mayor, his daughter."

Before I can respond, a girl with yellow-blonde curling locks and deep blue eyes in a baby pink sun dress opens the door. "Gale!" she exclaims. She wraps her arms around his neck, stands on her tiptoes, and kisses him straight on the lips.

I can't stop my mouth from dropping wide open. I can't be shocked though, right? I mean, I expected him to have a girlfriend. He's very attractive and he's had plenty of girlfriends before.

_But he kissed me._

Granted, it was two years ago but still: he kissed me.

Did he forget about that? I did too, but the sight of him kissing someone else brings the memory back. A shudder runs through me.

The girl smiles up at him. When she turns towards me she jumps, as if she just realized I was standing there. "Oh hello," she says. "Gale, who is this?"

"Madge, this is my best friend Katniss. Katniss, this is my girlfriend, Madge." His arm is still wrapped around Madge's waist.

"I could have guessed," I say, scratching the back of my neck.

Madge laughs and you can see she has straight, perfectly white teeth. She extends her hand out. "Nice to meet you, Katniss. Would you like to come in? I'll make some cookies."

XXX

After sitting down talking to Madge, eating cookies and strawberries and laughing for two hours, the sun begins to set and Gale and I start walking home.

"Well?" he asks.

"Well what?"

"Did you like her?"

"She's…nice. A little too nice. She doesn't seem _anything_ like you."

"Oh shut up." Gale laughs. "I really like her." I can tell by the look in his eyes that he really does. But I can't stop myself from asking.

"So what about what happened between us?"

Gale turns to me, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Two years ago. Before the choosing ceremony."

His face contorts with a dawn of realization. "Oh, Katniss I'm sorry. I was sixteen and acting on feelings I thought I had when really all that it was was just that I cared for you a lot." He rambles. "If you expected anything I'm sorry-"

I laugh at that. "Gale, calm down. I wasn't_ expecting_ anything. I just wanted to know."

He exhales. "Well that's a relief. That would have been awkward."

As we get close to my house the door flies open and Prim comes bounding down the steps, her blond hair blowing behind her like a cape in the wind, into my arms. "Katniss!"

"What is it? What's wrong?" I look

"Nothing, Nothing. I was just waiting for you to get home."

"Why?"

"To ask you if you could take me to Tobias's house."

"Tobias' house? Why do you want to go there?"

"He said he was going to teach me to bake Dauntless cake."

"I _have_ heard Dauntless cake is the best," Gale says.

I exhale a long breath, lifting a lock of hair out my eyes. "Fine, little duck. Let's go."

Prim jumps. "Yay! Thank you!" She grabs my hand and pulls me back towards the town.

XXX

I knock on the front door of Tobias's house. He lives on the other side of the town. In a house just big enough for two people.

The day after we arrived in District 12, Gale told us that the Mockingjay, the resistance group Gale joined, only got one house since Gale told them he only needed one. At the time, Gale hadn't known about Peeta, which is why Peeta has to live with me and my family since he didn't want to share a house with Tobias or live in the seam, where the poor people of District 12 reside.

Tobias opens the door wearing a white apron smudged with brown stains, chocolate I assume, and his brown hair sticking up all over his head as if he's raked his fingers through it multiple times.

Prim covers her mouth, giggling at his appearance and I say, "Well hello there, gorgeous."

Tobias sighs and walks away from the door, leaving it open so we can enter. We walk through the door, into the living room. Primrose goes into the kitchen with Tobias.

His house doesn't look any better than he does. There are newspapers and balled up pieces of paper strewn across the floor, the TV blasting, and a horrible burning smell drifts out from the kitchen.

I walk into the kitchen to find Tobias and Primrose with their elbows on the counter, leaning over a very black and very burned chocolate cake.

"What happened here?" I ask.

Tobias lets out another long exhale and says, "I wanted to bake two cakes, one I made myself and then one Primrose and I would have worked on, so I could give the second one to someone, but I left the one I made in the oven too long and now it's this big round block of charcoal."

I laugh at how childish he looks, all disheveled over a cake.

"It's not that bad," I joke. "Just scrape off the black parts."

Primrose laughs. "And then the whole cake would be gone."

This cracks a smile out of Tobias, but it's gone as soon as it appeared. He sighs for the third time. "Katniss, I need to talk to you." He nods his head toward the living room.

"Okay," I say.

"Be right back, kiddo," he pats Primrose on the top of her yellow head.

I follow Tobias into the living room and up the steps to his bedroom which looks like the only place in his house that hasn't been hit by a tornado. The walls are white and boring, as opposed to his apartment wall that had the words "Fear God alone" painted on it. The only thing that is the same is the smell, which can only be described as pure boy and detergent.

He closes the door behind us.

He walks over to his bed and sits on the edge of it, patting the spot next to him. I sit beside him.

He looks down at his hands for a while before saying anything. All the while I stare at him. There's something wrong with him, and it's not the cake. It's something deeper than that.

"It's Dauntless." He says abruptly. "It's been eating me alive."

His words catch me off guard and I gasp a little at his suddenness. "What about Dauntless?" I ask even though I know the answer because the same thing has been on my mind.

"How we just _left them there_ to fend for themselves. We knew what was coming. _We knew_. And we didn't even have the decency to warn them." His voice cracks when he says 'warn them' and for a second I think he's crying but I look up at him and his face is hard.

"There was nothing we could do."

"There _was_ something we could have done. We could have warned them. We could have taken them with us. We could have-"

"But Gale said-"

"Screw what Gale said! We could have done _something_." He stands up abruptly and walks over to the wall, laying his forehead on it. "I may not have agreed with some of the things Dauntless did but they don't deserve to die!"

"You don't know _what's_ happening back in Chicago!" I snap. "For all you know, Dauntless may have been a part of what the Erudite was planning. You were the one who saw the plans! Why would Erudite send over war plans to the people they're fighting _against_? For all you know-"

He looks at me, then. "You're right, Katniss." His voice rises. "I _don't_ know! But I do know that regardless if Dauntless is a part of it or not, the initiates, _your friends,_ had absolutely nothing to do with it! And right now, I guarantee you, they're in the middle of a shoot out and it's all our fault because we didn't warn them!"

It's true. Everything he is saying is true and I know it. Yet, I can't bring myself to say it and I can't stop the tears in my eyes from spilling over.

"There was nothing we could do." I can't seem to get my voice above a whisper.

"There _was_ something we could do, Katniss!" The force of his anger hits me like a wave. He walks over to me so we're inches apart, him towering over me. His blue eyes, usually thoughtful, are hard and critical, like they're peeling away every layer of me. "Why don't you understand that? People are dying right now. Because of us. Because of _you_ and you say there was nothing we could do about it?" He lets out a breath, and says, his voice low and vicious, "Now I know why you didn't choose Abnegation. Because you're _selfish_."

I should feel angry and hurt because of the way he is talking to me. He has never spoken to me like this before, as if he hated me. But I feel nothing but emptiness as I slam his bedroom door shut behind me, run past Primrose sitting on the couch with a worried expression on her face, and out the door into the cool starry night.

XXX

**4 days before**

I sleep…

**3 days before**

I eat… I sleep...

**2 days before**

I'm awakened to a soft knocking on my door.

I slept all day yesterday. Maybe it was because all of the running around caught up to me and I finally collapsed of exhaustion or maybe it was just that I couldn't drag myself out of bed. I hear my door creak as its being opened.

"Katniss?" Primrose's child-like voice cuts through my thoughts. "Are you okay?"

I turn over in my bed and look up at the angel-like figure that looks down at me. I never really noticed how beautiful Primrose is; with her porcelain skin and her golden locks. It sometimes amazes me that we're related. Everything about us is different. Katniss and Primrose is an oxymoron. She's incredibly innocent and hasn't seen the corrupt world for what it truly is. I'm astonishingly cynical and know that the world really is a complete and terrible disappointment.

"Yeah I'm fine little duck," I say, wiping the sleep from out of my eyes. "I just needed a little rest."

"Well, you ran out of Tobias's house in tears, and you didn't even come back to get me. Tobias had to take me home. And then you ate and barely said anything yesterday and you slept all day the day before. I thought, maybe, something was wrong. Tobias didn't say a word the whole time we were baking." Her voice is full of concern and worry. How did she get to be so sincere and caring when I'm a heartless, selfish, cretin?

I sit up, throw my legs over the side of my bed, and pat the spot next to me. Primrose sits down without taking her hazel eyes off of me.

"I'm sorry, Prim. For everything. For not picking you up from Tobias's house, for leaving you to go to Dauntless. I'm just sorry." I sigh. "I know I'm not the best big sister, but-"

"What are you talking about?" She interrupts.

"I was just apologizing because I know I haven't been there for you and-"

"Are you kidding me?" She asks, incredulous.

"No I just-"

"Katniss, you're the best person I've ever known. I haven't met one soul that has a heart as good as yours. Maybe Peeta, but I don't really know him that well. You're incredible. You took care of me for five years and acted like a mother to me when our real one wasn't there. You've always put me before anything else. You're incredibly selfless and one day I wish I could be _just like you. _In school they asked me who my favorite superhero was and all that came to mind was an image of you because you're that for me."

I'm speechless. Primrose wants to be like _me_? Primrose, the ridiculously kind hearted little girl who would cry every time she saw a dead animal? Primrose, the little girl who would pick yellow daisies and give them to the factionless? That girl, she wants to be like me? She thinks _I'm_ the selfless one?

All I can do is hug her and she hugs me back, even harder. "I love you more than anything," I whisper to her.

We sit there for a few minutes, basking in the moment, before she tells me. "You should probably get dressed. Gale said he wanted to take you somewhere."

XXX

After I get dressed, I open my front door to see Gale, in hunter's boots, a cap, with a foraging bag slung across his shoulder, looking down at the empty flower bed in front of the house.

He looks up at me. "Someone should really plant some flowers here. It'll give this drab house just the right amount of color."

"Oh shut up," I say. "Where are you dragging me to?"

"I just thought that since you slept all day yesterday, you might want to get out today."

I raise my eyebrows. What has gotten into him? Basically half of the time we spent getting to District 12, he wouldn't say a word, and now he's all 'let's spend the day together.' There's something phony about his kindness. Like he's hiding something.

"Okay," I say. "Where are we going?"

XXX

Gale and I cross the meadow and stand in front of the chain-link fence that separates it from the woods. Gale put his ear close to it the fence, like he did when we first got here, and then we both slide under.

"So you take me to the woods?" I ask as we climb the hills and meet with a rock ledge overlooking a valley.

"Yes." He says. "I thought you might like hunting."

"And why would you think that?" I joke.

He shrugs. "You just seem like the type of person who would." He retrieves a bow and sheath of arrows from a hollow log and hands it to me. "You're pretty good with the arrow, right?"

I see a bird soaring in the air, just above the trees, and string the bow and let it fly. The bird hits the ground with an audible _thump_. "I guess you could say that."

Gale examines it and lets out a breath. "Damn," he says. "Right through the eye." He picks up the bird and puts it in his bag.

I take out another arrow. "You obviously just brought me out here to catch all your meat _for you_. I'll have you know, I'm not doing it."

He laughs as I shoot a squirrel. "Wow. I should take you out here more often. You and that arrow can collect way faster than me and my traps," he says. "It's like it's a part of you."

I look at the arrow. The last time I held one was in a simulation back in Dauntless. Then, I kept missing my target and I got frustrated. Now, it's like I'm free. "I guess _so_."

"Well, it's yours. You can have it, if you want."

I look up at him. There he goes again with that kindness. It's like he's making up for something. Could it be because that he came back to Chicago so many times and didn't even stop to see me or tell me he was alive? Or is it something else?

"Gale?"

"What?"

"Is everything okay?"

"What do you mean?"

I sit down next to him on the rock. "I mean, before we got here, you barely said a word and it seemed like something was bothering you, and now your acting like everything's all hunky dory like nothing even happened."

He looks down at his hands with this guilty look on his face.

"What? What is it, Gale? What's wrong?"

He exhales. "It's what I was talking about last time we were in the woods."

I recall Gale talking about Panem and how he thought it would be better than Chicago. Our conversation was cut short because that's when Peeta discovered the berries.

I swallow the lump in my throat. "What about it?"

"Katniss," He hesitates. "I think I was wrong. About everything. About Panem being a safe haven, about Chicago, about bringing you here, about everything. I thought it would be better, but it's not. It's much, much worse."

I stand up and face him. "What are you talking about, Gale?" I can hear the own sharpness in my voice. I'm scared of what he's about to tell me. I've never seen Gale so unsettled before.

He takes a deep breath and looks at a spot above my head, avoiding eye contact. "Every year here, they have these games they broadcast-"

"Games?" I ask. "What's so wrong with games?"

"Let me finish," He snaps. "They aren't ordinary games like you would see on TV back at home. People _die_."

"What?"

"Every district has a public ceremony. They pick one boy and one girl from the ages of 12 to 18 and they send them off to this arena to fight to the death."

"Who is 'they'?"

"The capitol."

"When is the ceremony?"

"In two days."

This sets me over the edge. I'm filled with a blind fury towards Gale. I lash out at him and punch him square in the face. He stumbles and falls to the ground. He puts a hand up to where I hit him, his mouth agape with shock.

"_How could you?" _I spit. "_How could you do this to us?"_

"Katniss, I-"

"_Primrose could be called you selfish bastard." _

He's crying now and I don't think I can ever recall Gale crying before. I feel an edge of sympathy for him but I quickly push it down. He's a _monster_.

"I'm so sorry Katniss." He says. Despite his tears, his voice is a steady as ever.

I throw the bow and arrow down at his feet and I run.

I run down the hills, through the meadow, across the town and I don't stop running until I'm through my front door. I slide down the door, close my eyes and collapse in tears, which is what I seem to have more and more of lately. When did I get so soft? Or is it when did my life get so hard?

None of that matters because in three days, my sister, Peeta, Tobias, or I could be shipped off to some unknown land and forced to kill or be killed. And it's all Gale's fault. I'd rather be in Chicago in the middle of a war than be here.

"Katniss what's wrong?" I open my eyes to see the blurry figure of a blonde boy towering over me. "Are you hurt? What happened? Where's Gale?"

I just continue crying in response. "Shh Shh Shh, calm down," he says in a soothing voice. Peeta grabs both of my hands and helps me off of the floor. He helps me to the couch where he sits down and I lay down with my head on his legs. "Now, tell me what happened." Looking up at him, I recount the whole story of my afternoon with Gale.

Peeta exhales, "Wow."

I wipe my eyes. "Yeah, I know. He's a bastard."

"You shouldn't be mad at him."

I sit up and look at him.

Peeta truly is beautiful. The way he's looking at me, with such sincerity in his crystal blue eyes, makes me want to believe everything he says. It makes me want to trust him with my whole heart.

But I can't do that. Not just yet.

"Why shouldn't I be?" I ask.

"Because he didn't know. He just wanted to get you out of Chicago because it wasn't safe. All he was thinking about was keeping _you_ safe."

"But that's the thing. He _didn't_ keep me safe. He didn't keep _any_ of us safe! He just brought us into more trouble."

"He made a mistake, Katniss. People make mistakes." His blue eyes search mine and it's like he's looking right through me, looking right through my brick wall that I've put up to keep people out, and right into my soul, looking right into who I _really_ am. "And they make even bigger mistakes when it comes to the people they love."

"But he-"

"Was trying to protect you," He finishes. "Because that's what people do when they love someone. They protect each other."

And then he kisses me. My arms wrap around his neck instinctively, pulling him closer to me, and I get that feeling I got in the woods: that this is what's _right_. This is how it's _supposed_ to be.

Everything melts away and it's just me, Peeta, and the fire crackling in the fire place. His fingers undo my braid and run through my hair. I inhale the scent of him. He smells of warmth, bread and home.

He lays me down, him on top of me, and kisses me deeply, as if this is what he's been waiting for for days. He traces circles on my leg which gives me goose bumps. I run my fingers through his blonde locks as he twirls my hair around his finger.

I can't even remember what I was upset about. That's what happens when I'm with him. Nothing else matters but us.

Someone clears their throat, I didn't even hear anyone come in, and Peeta and I spring a part, Peeta falling on the floor. I stifle a giggle as I look up to see who interrupted us.

Tobias stands there, glancing between Peeta, with his hair sticking up from where I ran my fingers through it, and me with my, I'm sure, pink flushed cheeks.

"I'll, um," he begins. "I'll come back later." I can hear the hurt in his voice.

"Tobias, wait!" I get up from the couch and start to chase after him, but I stop, looking back at Peeta.

Peeta looks at me and nods his head. "You should go talk to him."

How could Primrose ever compare my soul to his? Peeta is the perfect example of a good person. He's everything God wanted mankind to be. I can't even come close to coming close to that.

I give a little nod and run out the door into the cool starry night.

XXX

I see Tobias walking down the path back to town and run up beside him, grabbing his arm trying to get him to stop walking.

"Tobias-" I begin.

"What?" He jerks his arm away from me and looks me in my eyes. "What could you possibly have to say to me?"

I'm speechless. What_ did_ I run out here to say? That I'm sorry for kissing Peeta? Because I'm not. That I didn't mean it and it was just a "spur of the moment" thing? Because it wasn't.

"Don't be mad," Is all I can come up with.

He chuckles humorlessly. "I'm not mad, Katniss. It's obvious you love him. I just wish you would have told me so I didn't have to find out this way."

Obvious? It's obvious? How can he tell when I don't even know myself?

I look at the ground. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I don't know who I love."

He takes my face in his hands and I look up into those dark blue eyes, that when I first met him, I use to always get so easily lost in. Like now.

"Don't be sorry." He says in his quiet voice. "I actually came over to apologize for the way I yelled at you the other day. I was way out of line. It's not your fault. I just get mad and take it out on whoever is closest to me at that point. I'm so sorry."

He pulls me into his warm embrace and I'm buried in the scent of him, which is so much different from Peeta's. While Peeta's is warm and inviting, Tobias's is cool and intimidating, but I've grown use to it to the point where it actually comforts me.

We stand there in the dark of the night, the stars our only illumination. I can feel is steady heartbeat through our clothes, strong and persistent, and I close my eyes as I listen to its rhythm.

He rests his chin on the top of my head. "I love you," He whispers so quietly I'm not sure if it was him or the wind.

I don't respond to him because I'm not sure exactly _who_ I love.

XXX

When I finally get back into the house, I find Peeta curled up on the couch, a faint snore coming from him as he sleeps.

I smile at how innocent he looks, with his mouth slightly open and his hair still sticking up. I grab the blanket off the back of the couch and drape it over his sleeping body.

I make my way upstairs, into my room, and collapse on the bed and fall immediately to sleep. It's been a long day.

XXX

_Christina, Tris, and Will look down upon me, their bodies outlined against the cloudy gray sky. What's going on? I want to ask but no sound comes out. _

_I'm laying down on something soft and there are dirt walls around me. Am I in a ditch? I try to sit up but I can't move. Help! I try to shout, but, again, no sound escapes my lips._

"_You killed us…" Christina says in a robotic voice that doesn't belong to her._

"_So now we kill you," They all say in unison._

_Suddenly they all have shovels in their hands and they scoop up dirt from the ground and throw it on me. The dirt gets in my eyes but I can't wipe it away. They continually shovel dirt on me until I can no longer see them. I try to scream but it's no use._

_I'm buried alive._

"Katniss! Katniss, wake up!" Someone is shaking me and I thrash out, but strong hands catch my fists.

I open my eyes to find Peeta, kneeling by the side of my bed, with my hands in his. His whole appearance is in disarray, like he literally just rolled out of bed. "Calm down, Katniss. It was only a dream. You're okay."

"What happened?" My voice is raspy and my throat hurts.

"You were screaming like you were being hurt or something. I ran in here as fast as I could." He still holds my hands in his.

I take a deep breath. "I'm okay. It was just a bad dream."

Peeta locks our fingers. "Want to talk about it?"

I look down at our hands that fit so perfectly together, it's like they were made for each other.

"It sometimes helps," he continues.

I nod my head and he sits on the bed, in front of me, never letting go of my hand. "So what happened?" he asks.

I sigh and recount the terrible nightmare and then I tell him about the argument Tobias and I had and why he came over tonight.

"So do you feel guilty?"

"Yes, of course! Don't you?"

He finally let's go of my hand and immediately I feel its absence. "Even if I did, there is nothing we can do about it."

I get a thought and look out the window. _Maybe_, I think, _just maybe_.

"Katniss," Peeta's voice interrupts my thoughts. "_Is_ there something we could do?"

I shake the thought out of my head. No. We couldn't.

I sigh. "No. But that doesn't make the pain bearable. It just makes it worse."

"Sometimes, Katniss, you have to let things go. What's done is done. If we can't do anything about it, there is no use in making yourself feel like you've done some horrible evil. If you could do something, you would, right?"

"Yeah…"

"So don't get all upset about it." He squeezes my arm and stands up to leave.

"Peeta?" I look up at him.

"Yes?

"Could you, maybe, stay? Here. Just for tonight. I don't think I could go to sleep otherwise."

"Of course," he says. He walks to the other side of my bed, flips the covers over, and gets in the bed, scooting close and wrapping a strong arm protectively around my body, my back to his stomach, and automatically I feel safe, as if nothing bad could happen while Peeta is around. His other hand fiddles with my hair and I close my eyes, listening to the sound of him breathing. I take a strange comfort in the sound, like the sound of him living puts me in a weird state of tranquility.

And then it hits me. It's Peeta. That's who I love, and that's who I've always loved. The dandelion in the spring. I don't know why it's taken me this long to figure out.

Is this what it feels like to love and be loved?

"Peeta?" I ask again.

"Yes?" His voice is low.

"What will happen if one of us gets picked for the Games?" I ask quietly. I know it's a morbid question but I can't stop myself from asking.

"That won't happen." He states without hesitation.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because," He says matter-of-factly. "I would never let that happen to you."

But how? How could you protect me against the reaping, Peeta? I want to ask but for once, I don't demand an explanation. I just let myself take comfort in the thought that maybe everything _will_ be okay.

XXX

**1 Day Before**

I open my eyes to the blinding sunlight shining through my window. I turn over and find Peeta gone. All that's left that proves he was ever in my room last night is the crumpled sheets.

I swing my legs out of bed and walk into the bathroom to take a shower and do all of the other things you do in the morning.

When I'm done, I open my door, but I don't smell any aroma of food. I pad down the hallway and down the stairs to find Tobias and Gale sitting on the floor with Peeta sitting across from them, fully dressed.

I freeze in my tracks.

They are murmuring to each other, and obviously unaware of my presence. What could the three of them possibly have to talk about and why are they being so secretive?

I clear my throat and they all look up, abruptly stopping their conversation. I walk over and take a seat on the floor, next to Peeta, and none of them take their eyes off of me.

"So, um, what's this about?" I ask hesitantly.

Now all of them are looking at each other, each of them willing the other to tell me.

"Can one of you just tell me?" I snap.

"Shh, Katniss," Peeta whispers. "You don't want to wake up your mom."

"Then tell me what's going on!" I shout whisper at them.

Gale looks at Tobias and then at Peeta and when they both say nothing, he takes a deep breath. "I guess I have to be the bearer of bad news…again." There is a fading bruise on his jaw from where I hit him yesterday and I feel guilty. Did I really have to do that?

"Tobias, Peeta, and I were just discussing tomorrow."

"What about tomorrow?"

"We, um." He stutters. "We have to put our name in the bowl a second time for the reaping."

I stand up. "What? Why?"

"Katniss, shh," Tobias stands up, puts his firm hands on my shoulders, and looks at me with his dark eyes. "It's to get more oil and grain from the capitol. We need it."

"Why? Why do you all have to do it and I don't?"

Gale walks over to me and puts his hand on the small of my back. "We would never let you do that."

It's Peeta's turn to console me. "This is how we can protect you."

"This isn't protecting me! Putting yourself in more danger for what? Nothing important!"

"We need the oil and grain, Katniss," Gale says. "And we definitely weren't going to let you or Primrose put in your names any more than they have to be in there.

I'm lost for words. I sit down on the couch and take a deep breath.

Gale sits down beside me. "There are still going to be thousands of other slips in those bowls," he reassures me. "The odds are in our favor."

XXX

After I apologized to Gale for hitting him and after everyone was finished reassuring me that it wasn't likely any of them would get picked, I walk outside into the sunny day and take a seat on my front steps. A few minutes pass and Tobias comes out and sits next to me.

"It's a lot to take in, isn't it?" He asks.

I lay my chin on my knees. "Yeah."

"At least you don't have to go through it alone."

I don't respond to that, hoping that this conversation won't go down _that_ road.

"Katniss, you have to tell me," he says. "I _have_ to know before tomorrow."

"Why?" I ask.

He doesn't respond.

How can he demand answers from me but not give me answers when I ask?

"Katniss, _please_," he pleads, taking my hand. His blue eyes are already filled with hurt. He already knows my answer but he just needs to hear it from me. But can I do that? Can I hurt him any more than I already have? "I need to know."

I don't look at him when I say it because if I see him break, I'm afraid I might break too.

"It's Peeta," I rip the band-aid off. "It's always been Peeta."

He laughs humorlessly and let's go of my hand, "I can't pretend like I didn't know. I knew it since the day I walked in on you two in the infirmary."

I recall Tobias standing in the doorway while Peeta and I lay our foreheads together. I remember not being able to read the expression on his face. But now I can, and it was hurt.

"I'm sorry," is all I can say.

"Don't be," He replies, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear. "We can't help who we love."

XXX

That day flies by fast. Gale explains to my mom and Primrose about what will happen tomorrow, Tobias disappears for the rest of the day, and now it's late afternoon and Peeta and I lay on the grass in front of the house, watching the sun go down. I lie with my head in his lap while he fiddles with my hair like he always does.

"Why do you always do that?" I ask.

"What?"

"Play with my hair."

He laughs. "I don't know why." His hands go still.

"What?" I ask.

"I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever," he says.

I dreamed of this. Back in Dauntless, I dreamed of this very moment. But then, we were on the roof on top of the Dauntless building and now we're in a completely different circumstance. It's funny how things can be so different, but still exactly the same.

I close my eyes. "Me too."

"Do you love me?" Peeta whispers so quietly I barely even heard it.

This is the moment. Memories of Peeta flash before my closed eyelids. The first time I saw him: shooting a gun at a target and making it every time. Him laughing with that sparkle in his crystal blue eyes. Us standing in front of a water fountain. Him telling me, "If I'm going to be Dauntless, I want to still be me." Him standing at the door of the infirmary, a worried look evident on his beautiful face. Us sitting together at the top of a Ferris wheel, looking down on the world below us. Him standing in front of a target as knives are thrown at his head, for me. Me, looking at him through my blurry tear streaked eyes. Our foreheads resting together as he intertwines our fingers. Us talking together at the railing in front of the chasm. And finally, us lying on a blanket together, eating and watching the sun set before our eyes. Nothing is more perfect than that moment. Except maybe this:

I open my eyes. I lie with my back on the grass, staring up into the light sapphire eyes of the person that I have fallen in love with. Peeta is on top of me, with his hands on the ground to elevate himself so he doesn't crush me under his weight. Looking into his clear blue eyes I can finally say it.

"I do, Peeta. I love you," I say.

He lowers his head to kiss me as the sky turns from a radiating pink to a vibrant orange. As the sun goes to sleep, my inner essence is _finally_ awakened.

XXX

**Today.**

"_And so it was decreed, that each year the twelve districts of Panem shall offer up in tribute one young man and woman, between the ages of 12 and 18, to be trained in the art of survival, and to be prepared to fight to the death."_

I stand in a group of sixteen year old girls looking up at the temporary stage where a woman in a pink wig and lime green suit, with two glass bowls full of slips on either side of her, stands in front of a microphone.

"I just love that!" Effie trinket exclaims, her pink wig shifting slightly off of her head. In Chicago, no one would be caught dead wearing anything like that. She looks oddly out of place. What, with her neon colors and everybody else in dull whites and grays. She's a rock in the middle of some pebbles.

Effie continues on about how being here is an "honor" and she lists the names of District twelve's past victors.

Through the crowd, I spot Tobias looking back at me. He put his index finger to his mouth and fake gags. I smile at him weakly.

Am I taking this too seriously? Maybe Gale was right. What are the odds? There are, God knows how many, names in that bowl. I only had to enter my name once and I made sure Prim did too.

But then there is Gale, and Peeta, and Tobias. What will happen to them? They entered their names a second time for tesserae, grain, and oil. That increases their chances of getting picked.

I guess that since there are a thousand more slips in that bowl, their chances aren't increased by that much.

So why am I so scared?

"Zinnia Dartmouth" Effie announces. I wasn't even aware that she had begun calling the names. I let out breath that I didn't even know I was holding. _I'm safe. Primrose is safe_.

When Zinnia mounts the stage, Effie has her introduce herself and then she moves to the boys bowl and reads the name out in clear, capitol accented voice.

"Peeta Mellark."

And it's like it knocks the wind out of me. My heart stops and I'm unable to speak or breathe as I repeat the name again and again in my head, trying desperately to change it into someone else's. I see him standing in the crowd looking up at the stage, wide-eyed and stunned. That's what knocks me into reality.

Someone is gripping my arm, a boy, and I think maybe I started to fall and he caught me.

This can't be real.

Not him.

There must have been a mistake.

_Not him._

"_I voulunteer!"_ I smoky male voice says. "I volunteer as tribute."

And I don't believe my eyes as he mounts the stage. Tall and lean, tousled brown hair, face as hard and unfeeling as a rock, deep dark mysterious blue eyes.

_Tobias._

XXX

One time, when I was younger, I was working on a science project, without any safety gear or anything, mixing random chemicals and such. I was just playing around until the concoction exploded before my eyes. I fell to the ground, dazed, confused, and in horrible pain.

That's how I feel right now as I'm thrown into a room with thick, deep, carpets and a velvet couch with Tobias sitting on it, his head in his hands.

"You have three minutes," the peacekeeper says as he shuts the door.

Peeta and Gale have already said goodbye. I couldn't bear to look Tobias in the eye. But eventually I had to.

"Why?" I ask in a shaky voice. I wasn't aware of my tears before but now they come in a steady stream.

"Why would you do that? I know you didn't do it for him, so why?"

He looks up at me for a few moments before getting up and wrapping me in his embrace. I inhale deeply because this may be the last time I ever get to smell his scent.

"Please don't cry, Katniss. You already know why I did it."

Yes, I do, but I can't bring myself to say it.

"You couldn't live without him and I have a better chance of surviving than he does. I did this for you."

I can't speak. I'm so stunned, this all is happening so fast. One day Tobias is here, and tomorrow he won't be.

His tone all of a sudden turns very serious. He takes me by the shoulders and looks into my eyes. "Listen very carefully, Katniss, we don't have much time."

I'm taken aback by his straightforwardness.

"I didn't just do that because you loved Peeta. I did it because I know that without him, you wouldn't be able to accomplish what I am about to tell you."

I open my mouth but no words come out.

He goes on, regardless. "In two minutes, the peacekeepers will be here to collect you. I need you to run, Katniss. Run and don't stop until you're back to Chicago."

What? What is he talking about?

"Don't say anything, Katniss. Listen. You, Peeta, and Gale need to go back to Chicago and stop Erudite. We were wrong leaving them behind and it is not too late. It's something bigger than Erudite wanting to take control. It's something that involves you, and you have to stop it, Katniss. Don't you see? I've already told Gale and Peeta what to do. They're waiting for you outside. As soon as he opens that door, you have to run, and don't look back. I'll be fine. Your family will be fine. I can't tell you how I know these things, but I do, and you just have to trust me. _You have to trust me_." He wraps me in a tight hug and whispers very quietly, _"I love you. It's time."_

The peacekeeper opens the door mid-sentence and I run. I run down the steps and out into the daylight. Peeta and Gale have appeared by my side out of nowhere. We run and run until we cross the meadow and crawl under the gate into the forest. We keep running and keep running for what seems like an eternity and for all I know, maybe it is.

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Thank you all soooooo much, my God. You are all the first readers of my very first story. I love you all and thank you for going on this journey with me :) I will make another story continuing this one. It's going to be from Katniss's AND Zinnia's point of view. So look out for that. And I am working on another story about Gale and his new life in District 2 after the war. PLEASE read lol. But yeah, I love you all. * tear* I'll answer any questions you guys have. Just message me or post in in the reviews. So thanks, guys. - Tamyaa.**


	22. Hunger For Insurgence- First look

**_A/N: Here we are! The first chapter in the sequel to Hunger for Divergence. It's short, kind of. The others will be longer. This is just so you can get a sense of what's going on._**

* * *

_Zinnia_

_Then-_

_I'm standing in the doorway of my parent's room, quietly looking in on my father. I know he doesn't realize that I'm here, watching his every move, but that's what makes it interesting._

_When he came home from the mines today, I immediately realized something was wrong with him. He was even less talkative then usual and he could hardly look any of us in the eye. I could tell he was hiding something in his coat._

_Right now he sits on the bed with his head in his hands, silently crying. I would go in and sit with him and ask him what's wrong but something plants my feet right in this spot._

_And that's when he takes out the gun. _

_That's what he was hiding in his coat? Where would he get a gun? Why would he even need one? I start to go in the room but then he puts it to his head and pulls the trigger._

I was only five.

I would find out later that he stole the gun from a peacekeeper. But they could never explain to me why he did it. I've always assumed that life was too much for him and that his family wasn't enough. That _I_ wasn't enough. Why else would he so desperately want to get away?

_Now_-

The memory always drains my face of any emotion, so I always think about it when I don't want people to know how I feel. It's morbid, but it works. You've got to do what you've got to do.

Right now, the train station is swarming with reporters with cameras trained directly on my face. I know my eyes are probably red and puffy from the drive over. I couldn't help it, then. It was all too real.

Now it's not.

My mother is probably glad to have me gone. I was the tiny blemish on her otherwise perfect life. She always wanted me to be exactly like my two older sisters: Gorgeous, never questioned her, didn't think for yourself, and always did what was asked. She wanted me to eventually grow up and marry a guy that_ wasn't _a coal miner, and live a decent life (which is pretty hard to do living in District twelve, the poorest District in Panem). I tried to live up to my mother's expectations and follow in my sisters footsteps (though they're all airheads who married boring business owners) but I always seemed to fall short.

I'm pretty, I guess, but nothing like my sisters. They turned heads when they walked in the room. The only reason people look at me is to get a glimpse of my hair, which a hideous bright orange type color. It's some type of birth defect, I guess, since my sisters all have dark colored hair and my mother's is a dark red.

Anyway, I know my sister's will miss me. They were crying when they came to say goodbye, but my mother looked impassive. 'I love you' was all she said but she could hardly look me in the eye. I assumed she was lying. I already know I've failed her.

I glance over to my left to see how my new district partner is handling this. When he volunteered, he only introduced himself as 'Four.' It's a really strange name.

He stands there with his face devoid of emotion. It seems as though he's bored by all this, but I know he must be feeling exactly how I'm feeling inside: Petrified.

XXX

On the train (which is the fanciest room I've ever been in) I'm given a private chamber that has a bedroom, a private bathroom and a dressing area. I take off my reaping outfit and choose a pair of pants and blue shirt from the clothes that they have provided me.

When Effie comes to collect me for dinner, I follow her into the dining room where Four sits alone at the table, head bowed, obviously deep in thought. I slide into the chair in front of him.

He looks a little older than me, probably 17 or 18, and too well groomed to be from the seam, so he must be a town boy. I haven't heard him say a word other than his name at the reaping. He's mysteriously calm about all of this. Or maybe he's just good at hiding his emotions, something I've mastered over the years.

After dinner (with the absence of Haymitch, our mentor) Effie announces that it's time to watch the recaps and traipses off into another chamber. I stand up to follow.

"Recaps?" Four says.

I kind of jump when he says it. I'm surprised to hear him speak.

"Uhh, yeah. Recaps." He eyes me questioningly.

"The recaps. You know, of the reapings," I say. "Haven't you watched the recaps before?"

He shakes his head slowly. That's really weird. They always showed the recaps of the reapings in past Hunger Games. Why wouldn't he know about them?

"Well, come on. We have to see what our competition is."

XXX

In the compartment, one by one we see the names called and the volunteers (mostly the careers) walking up to the stage. Some of the tributes look vicious and others look harmless. I'd say it's an even mix.

I can't imagine killing any of them. It's not like I stand a chance, anyway. Maybe against the younger ones but I won't have the heart to kill them. I know I shouldn't abandon all hope of winning just yet, not before I've even started, but it's so hard not to.

At last they get to District Twelve. I can easily spot myself in the crowd – I'm a bright orange dot in a sea of gray – and then I'm watching myself take the stage, slightly shaking and scared. Next, Effie is calling Peeta Mellark and Four is taking his place. I wonder why he did that. They don't look related. Four doesn't even look fond of him. He barely glances Peeta's way when takes the stage.

I glance over at Four who looks as impassive as stone with his arms crossed, staring at the screen. It doesn't even seem like he cares. Doesn't he have a family that he's missing? Isn't he afraid of dying? I wonder what's going on inside his head.

He looks over at me then, like he senses me watching him.

And that's when I realize his eyes. They're such a peculiar shade of blue –the exact color of the night sky –and they're so deep-set that the eyelashes touch the skin under his eyebrows.

Four frowns. I've been staring. I quickly look away, embarrassed.

"…well I for one think you two will do just fine," Effie says. I'd been too caught up in my thoughts to realize she was even speaking.

"You both look healthy enough, better than past tributes, at least. Especially you," She looks at Four. "You look like you haven't starved a day in your life."

"You don't know anything about me," he says quietly.

"It's not my job to, dear. That is the responsibility of Haymitch, your mentor and I, for one, wouldn't rely too heavily upon his assistance because –"

As if on cue, Haymitch stumbles into the room. "I miss dinner?" he asks in a slurred voice. Then he vomits on the carpet and falls.

"Well," Effie continues. "I guess that speaks for itself." She hops in her pointy shoes around the pool of vomit and flees the room.

XXX

I got into bed late last night because I had to clean Haymitch up and help him in bed. It wasn't a pleasant experience or smell, for that matter. Four didn't even offer to help. He just silently retreated to his bedroom like a jerk.

So when Effie Trinket's voice calls for me to rise – "Up, up, up! It's going to be a big, big day!" – I'm more than a little annoyed.

I put on a green shirt and pants and coerce my thick ropey hair into a ponytail. Once we reach the Capitol my looks will be dictated by my stylist. I already know that they would think my hair is an atrocity.

As I enter the dining car, Effie brushes by me with a cup of black coffee. She's muttering obscenities under her breath. Haymitch, his face puffy and red is chuckling. Four sits staring at his food, twirling a butter knife in his hand.

"Sit down! Sit down!" says Haymitch, waving me over. As soon as I slide in my chair I'm served an enormous platter of food. They also hand me a brown cup of something I've never seen. I take a sip and the hot, sweet liquid glides down my throat.

"Oh, my God. What is this?" I say, drinking some more.

Four looks at me like I'm an idiot. "It's hot chocolate. What else would it be?"

I glare at him. "I've never had it before."

"You've never had hot chocolate?" He looks incredulous.

"Yeah, they don't exactly have all you can eat buffets in District twelve, or haven't you noticed?" Is this guy for real?

He goes back to twirling his knife.

"So," I look at Haymitch. "You're supposed to give us advice?"

"Here's some advice. Stay alive," says Haymitch and then bursts out laughing.

"You would think that, after what happened last night, you would be slow to drinking alcohol," Four says coolly, and knocks Haymitch's drink from his hand with a flick of his wrist. It shatters on the floor, sending a blood red liquid trailing to the back of the train. "Guess not."

Haymitch seems to consider this a moment then takes a swing towards Four's face –

But Four moves fast and takes Haymitch by the wrist and twists his arm behind his back. Haymitch lets out a cry.

"I would think twice before I'd try that again," Four says and pushes him. Haymitch stumbles a little before righting himself. "Hm," he says and kicks Four.

Four catches his foot and pulls so he falls on his shoulder. Haymitch groans from the ground.

"That's enough you two!" Effie squawks from the other side of the train car. "Where are your manners?"

Haymitch puts his hands up in defeat, still on the floor. "All right, all right. You've got it, tough guy."

Four slides back into his chair.

Well, there go my chances of ever winning these games.

Haymitch takes his seat, rubbing his shoulder. His eyes land on me. "And what can _you_ do, Zinnia?"

What _can_ I do?

"I, um. I guess I'm pretty good with a slingshot, though it's not much, and I'm pretty smart, I think."

Four makes a snorting type sound – is he laughing? – and Haymitch says, "Anything will do, sweetheart. We'll take what we can get." He gestures with his chin to the other side of the train. "Stand over there, both of you."

We obey and he circles us, taking in our appearance from head to toe, checking our muscles, examining our faces. "Well, you're not entirely hopeless," He says to me, observing my ponytail, "Though they'll have to do something about the hair color. Not good for blending in with surroundings. And you," he faces Four. "You look like a goddamned career, yourself."

Careers are tributes who have trained their whole lives for the Games. They typically come from the wealthier districts, 1, 2 and 4. Never 12. But the way you could basically _see_ Four's abs through his shirt and the way his short sleeves clung to his biceps; it's not hard to tell how someone could make that mistake. For all I know, maybe he is a career. I mean, he did volunteer. And his skills look like he's been well trained. Those moves he used on Haymitch weren't just reflexes; they took skill and practice, something you don't get much of in District Twelve.

So where could he come from, then? Could he have escaped from another District? But if so, why would anyone want to leave a wealthier District to come to District Twelve, the poorest of them all? It makes no sense to me.

Maybe I'm just over thinking things. Like always.

Four looks baffled. "Careers?"

"You_ know_," Haymitch says. "Careers. Career Tributes." He still sees Four's confused look and continues. "Tributes who have trained most of their lives and volunteered for The Hunger Games."

Four looks at me, then. "Why would anyone want to do that?"

Boy, this guy really doesn't know anything. "For the fame and fortune that you get if you win."

"But what if they lose? They'll die, right?"

"Yeah," I tell him. "But that's just a risk some people are willing to take."

XXX

When the train starts to slow, I can't help but run to the window and see what I've only seen on television, the Capitol, the ruling city of Panem. I take in the glistening buildings and the shiny cars that roll down the wide paved streets. It's like a fairytale.

The oddly dressed people with bizarre hair and painted faces waiting for us at the train station point at us eagerly as they see our tribute train rolling in. They snap cameras and smile and wave when they see me in the window and suddenly I'm feeling self-conscious about my looks, which is a stupid thing to be feeling at the moment, considering the circumstances.

"I'd step away from the window if I were you. Your stylists haven't gotten to you yet," Haymitch mocks.

"I –"

"Stylists? For what?" Four cuts me off before I can respond.

"Jeez, boy, don't you know anything?" Haymitch sounds irritated.

I narrow my eyes at Four. There is definitely something wrong with this picture. Why doesn't he know anything about The Hunger Games? Doesn't he know what he signed up for? He looks about eighteen, he's known about them longer than I have. Something's not right.

Four seems to notice my suspicion and quickly looks away. "Never mind," he says under his breath.

XXX

I stand in a room with cold white walls, on a metal table, waiting for my stylist, Cinna. My prep team – which consists of three very colorful, odd looking people – have just finished "prepping" me, also known as, scrubbing dirt (and possibly a bit of skin) off my body, plucking my eyebrows and ridding my body of hair. My skin feels tingly and sore.

My hands go to my hair. Some guy named Flavius (whose hair was also a vivid orange red) said he adored my hair color and commanded the rest of the team to leave it alone. They ended up washing and straightening it so I at least look halfway presentable.

The door opens and a young man who I assume must be Cinna walks in. He looks relatively normal compared to everyone else I've seen today. He's wearing a simple black t shirt and pants. The only form of self alteration I notice is his sparkly gold eyeliner.

"Hello, Zinnia. I'm Cinna, your stylist," he also lacks the Capitol accent.

"Hi."

He circles me and takes in my appearance and I suddenly wish I had on something other than a paper gown.

He comes to a stop in front of me. "Interesting," is all he says.

I try to recall seeing Cinna during previous Hunger Games but nothing comes to mind. I'm sure he would stick out, being the only one not dressed obnoxiously flamboyant.

"Are you new?" I venture.

"Yes, this is my first year in the games," says Cinna.

"And they gave you District Twelve, the worst district."

"I asked for District Twelve," he simply says. "Come follow me. We'll have a chat."

I follow him through a door into a sitting room. Two red couches face off over a low table. Three walls are blank with the fourth made entirely of glass, providing a window to the city. The sun sits high above the tall buildings.

I sit on the couch across from Cinna. He presses a button on the side of the table. The top splits and from below rises a second table top that holds our lunch. Chicken, oranges, and rice with pudding.

My family hasn't completely starved like some of the families in District Twelve, but we haven't exactly wined and dined either. Being middle class, my family could afford to eat only once a day, which is why when I see the food, I dig in without hesitation.

I wonder what it would be like to live in the lap of luxury where food appears at a press of a button, where you could decorate yourself in ridiculous colors and sit around and watch children die for entertainment. It must be nice.

"How despicable we must seem to you," Cinna says quietly. I look up to find his eyes trained on me.

"No matter," He continues. "So Zinnia, about your costume for the opening ceremonies. My partner, Portia, is the stylist for your fellow tribute, Four. And our current thought is to dress you in complementary costumes. As you know, it's customary to reflect the flavor of the district."

For the opening ceremonies, you're supposed to wear something that suggests your district's principal industry. District 4, fishing. District, 3, factories. District 12, coal miners.

I don't know how they think they're going to pulls this off without being dull. District Twelve typically wears skimpy outfits and hats with headlamps.

"So we'll be dressed as coal miners?"

"Not exactly. You see, Portia and I think that the coal miner thing has been very overdone. No one will remember you in that. And we both see it as our job to make the District Twelve tributes unforgettable."

I sincerely hope I won't be nude.

"So rather than focus on the coal mining itself, we're going to focus on the coal. And what do we do with coal? We burn it?"

"You're going to burn us?" I ask, incredulous. Surely that's not what he means.

"You're not afraid of a little fire, are you, Zinnia?" He grins.

XXX

A few hours later, I'm dressed in a simple black unitard that covers me from ankle to neck. Shiny black boots lace up to my knees, but it's the cape made of streams of orange, yellow, and red and the matching headpiece that define this costume. Cinna will light them on fire right before our chariot pulls off.

"It's not real flame, of course, just a little synthetic fire Portia and I came up with. You'll be perfectly safe," he says. I decide to trust him. Surely there must be a rule against burning your tributes to death before they enter the arena.

My face is clear of makeup and my hair has been brushed out and is hanging in long locks past my shoulders. "Your hair color will complement the flames well. It will make you seem, not as if you are _on_ fire, but as if you _are_ the blaze itself. I want the audience to recognize you when you're in the arena," Cinna says dreamily. "Zinnia, the girl of fire."

It has only now crossed my mind that Cinna might just be a complete madman.

XXX

Four and I stand side by side in our chariot in matching outfits. He has on that far away look, I realize, like he's thinking longingly of some other place he'd rather be. Or someone he'd rather be with.

The tributes from District 10 pull off and Cinna hops up on our chariot with a torch. I hold my breath as he lights our capes and headdresses. Cinna lets out a sigh of relief. "It works." Then he tucks a hand under my chin. "Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you."

Cinna jumps off and District 11 rolls away.

"Zinnia," Four says under his breath, only loud enough so I can hear him.

I look at him, slightly startled. I can't help but notice how unreal he looks in the flames; sort of like a burning prince.

"I need to talk to you," he says.

"Do you really think now is the time?" I ask

His eyes turn to slits. "I mean later tonight. It's important." We're about to pull off and Cinna shouts something at us from behind but the music drowns him out. I turn around and Cinna yells again, gesturing, but I still can't understand what he's saying.

"_Zinnia_." Four's voice demands my attention. I whip my head around to look at him. "_What_?"

"Meet me tonight on the roof, got it?"

At that precise moment our chariot takes off, surprising me so much, I'm about to fall right out the back-

When Four's hand grips mine firmly, and he pulls me upright.

I fix my slightly tilted headdress. "Thanks," I say to him, but he doesn't let go of my hand. I try to yank it away from him but he grips it tighter. "Cinna was yelling for us to hold hands."

I hadn't even noticed the crowd going crazy at the sight of us. They cheer and shout "District Twelve," drawing all the attention away from the chariots up ahead.

I catch our appearance on a large television screen and am floored by how breathtaking we look. In the deepening twilight, the firelight illuminates our faces. We seem to be leaving a cape of fire trailing in our wake. We look radiant.

The crowd gets wilder and starts cheering our first names. I dare to wave at them and blow kisses. This will get me sponsors for sure.

Maybe this isn't as completely hopeless as I thought.

The chariots fill the loop of the City Circle. Our horses pull up to President Snow's mansion, and we come to a halt. The music ends with a flourish.

The president, a thin white hared man gives the official welcome from a balcony above us. The camera cuts away to the faces of the tributes but I can see that District 12 is getting more airtime. It's hard to miss us as the lights dim and our Chariot parades around the circle one last time before disappearing into the training Center.

As soon as the door shuts we're engulfed by our prep teams who are incomprehensible as they babble our praise. I glance around and notice that some of the other tributes are shooting us dirty looks, and then Cinna and Portia are there, helping us down from the chariot and carefully removing our capes and headdresses. Portia extinguishes them with some kind of spray from a canister.

I realize that I'm still glued to Four and force my stiff fingers to open.

"Thanks for catching me out there. That would have been disastrous if it weren't for you," I say to him. He's looking out at all the tributes, mentors, and stylists talking. I notice that he doesn't have on his usual carefully guarded expression. Right now he wears a look of silent wonder, the way a new born child would look at their mother, as if they've never seen anything like it before.

Four nods a little and it's clear I don't have his attention.

"So," I start, desperately wanting him to look at me, "Tonight. On the roof." He matches my gaze. "What did you want to talk about?"

He turns away, as if he suddenly got bored of the conversation. "You'll find out when the time comes."

He is so mysterious.

XXX

The training center has a separate tower designed exclusively for the tributes and their teams. This is where we will live for the remainder of our time here. Each district has an entire floor. You simply step onto the elevator and press your district number.

On the ride up to our quarters, Effie Trinket chatters away about our performance at the opening ceremonies. She's complimentary, not just about our costumes, but also the way we conducted ourselves. According to her, she's been talking us up all day, trying to get us some sponsors.

"Everyone has their reservations, naturally," she says. "You being from the coal district, and all. But I said, and this was very clever of me, I said, 'Well, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls!'

I try to smile at Effie even though she is completely wrong. Four makes no such effort. He stares at her with open hostility. He probably thinks she's an idiot since coal doesn't turn to pearls. They grow in shellfish.

"Unfortunately, I can't seal the sponsor deals for you. Only Haymitch can do that," says Effie grimly. "But don't worry, I'll get him to the table at gunpoint if necessary."

My room is just as fancy as the train car. The shower has many options to choose regulating water temperature, pressure, soaps, shampoos, scents, oils, and massaging sponges. I must have been in there for at least an hour. When you step out on a mat, heaters come on that blow-dry your body. Instead of struggling with the knots in my wet hair, I merely place my hand on a box that sends a current through my scalp, untangling, parting, and drying my hair almost instantly. It floats down around my shoulders in a glossy curtain.

XXX

I sit at the dinner table with Four, Effie, the stylists, and Haymitch. Everyone has just finished their dinner and is now having idle chit-chat. I'm sort of anxious to get this part of the evening over with so Four and I can talk.

"Whose idea was the hand holding?" Haymitch's question snaps my attention back to the dinner table.

"Cinna's," says Portia.

"Just the perfect touch of rebellion," says Haymitch. "Very nice."

Rebellion. I remember the other tributes standing stiffly apart, never touching or acknowledging each other's existence, as if the games have already begun, I know what Haymitch means by that. But somehow it doesn't seem right to present Four and me to the audience as friends and then having us at each other's throats in the arena.

"Tomorrow morning is the first training session. Meet me for breakfast and I'll tell you exactly how I want you to play it," Haymitch says to Four and me. "Now go get some sleep while the grown-ups talk."

I take an eager glance over at Four. He meets my eyes and gives an inconspicuous nod towards the corridor leading to our rooms.

We have some of our own talking to do.

XXX

I follow Four to a flight of stairs that lead to the roof. It's windy when we step out into the night and my hair whips around my face wildly. We walk to the railing at the edge of the roof and peer out at the city.

The view is stunning from here. The Capitol looks like a utopia at night, with the tall white buildings and the twinkling lights on the trees. All of the colors are more vivid than back home. They're so lively they almost look artificial. The grass is an unnatural shade of green and the water from the fountain in the middle of the city looks flawlessly blue. It's like a dream.

I find it amazing how a beautiful place like this could be filled with such terrible things. Like how they could just round a bunch of children up, send them here to be paraded around in fancy clothing, then into an arena where they have to kill or be killed, all the while the residents sit around and watch like it's the most entertaining thing in the world. It's sick, but that's just how life is.

And I can't change a damn thing.

"What are you thinking about?" I only now realize that Four has been watching me. He's always so quiet, you can almost forget he's there.

Almost.

"Just about how something can be so _wrong_ and you can't change it no matter how hard you try," I tell him. "The world is stuck this way and it always will be."

He looks away from me then, with that far away look he gets sometimes, as if he's in an entirely different place.

I take a chance. "What are _you_ thinking about?"

He's silent for a moment. "Don't say that," he says quietly.

"What?"

"Just don't _say_ that!" He raises his voice which startles me. "You're _wrong_. Things have to change. They _can't_ stay the way that they are. Especially since I sent Kat-." He cuts off abruptly. After a pause he continues more slowly. "You can't believe that things can't get better. If you do, they won't." His gaze slowly matches mine. "Its regular people like you and I that change the world and we can't let fear stand in our way, or else nothing would improve. You _have _to believe that, okay?"

I give a slow nod. Four shows so little emotion that his passionate outburst comes as a shock. What was _that_ all about? He doesn't strike me as an optimist, either. I mean, "Regular people change the world and we can't let fear stand in our way"? What _is_ that?

For some reason, I think Four might be full of surprises.

My expression must be questioning because Four rolls his eyes and looks down at the city. "Forget it. I wouldn't expect you to understand."

He's so moody. One second he's all passionate and intense and the next he's closed off again. I've had enough. "What is it you dragged me up here for?"

He exhales. "I need your help."

"No. You're a jerk."

He narrows his eyes at me which no matter how intimidating, is still sort of cute when he does it. "You don't even know what I'm going to ask you."

"No, but I _do_ know that you're a jerk who thinks you're better than everyone else and you're always in a pissy mood and that I don't have to help you do anything," I turn and start walking towards the door but Four grabs me and spins me around to face him.

His eyes search my face for a moment and I feel like he's looking through me with his blue eyes. As though he can see all of my little secrets. "You're serious right now?" He asks.

I cross my arms. "Very."

He lets out an exaggerated sigh, touches his hand to his forehead and closes his eyes. As if _I'm_ the aggravating one.

"I'm sorry," He finally says. "Okay? I'm sorry. God, it's all been a little stressful lately. You wouldn't understand."

"_Stop saying that_! Just _stop_." He jumps a little at my forcefulness. Now it's _my_ turn to blow up. "You're acting as if I'm not in the _exact _same situation you are. You think _I'm _not stressed out? You think I _want_ to be here? I miss my family just like you do. My life may not have been the best, but do you know how much I _ache_ for it right now?"

"I do-"

"_Shut up_, _I am_ _speaking_." His mouth snaps shut. "I can _assure_ you, 'Mr. I'm-so-emotional all of a sudden', that you're _not_ the only one who is feeling things right now. I'm experiencing everything you are. I am _right_ beside you, so don't you _dare_ say I don't understand. Dumb bastard."

He has officially pissed me off.

Four looks incredulous. I know he thought that I didn't have it in me. But who does he think he is? He thinks he's the only one feeling pain right now? He's got another thought coming.

Four does the weirdest thing, then: He starts to _laugh_. I mean, full on, head tipped back, genuine laughter. I've never even seen him _smile_ before, but here he is, laughing away. It's a wonderful sound. I think I even see tears in his eyes.

He does have a strange sense of humor, though.

"You're crazy," I state matter-of-factly and turn to leave for the second time tonight.

"Zinnia, wait," he says, getting himself together. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're weird, and I'm done with this conversation."

He grabs my arm again. "Wait, please," he begs. He takes a deep breath. "It's just, I've never had anyone talk to me that way before."

I still can't see why that would be funny. "Yeah… well." Another gust of wind blows and I rub my arms to stay warm. I shouldn't have worn short sleeves.

"Are you cold?" He asks me.

"Obviously."

He unzips the jacket he's wearing and shrugs it off. He offers it to me.

I look from it to him. "Why can't we just go inside?"

"I don't want anyone listening in on our conversation. I have the strangest feeling we're being watched. Take the jacket."

I hesitate for a second and then take it and slip it on. It's way too big for me and the sleeves dangle, but God, is it warm and cozy.

"Will you listen to me now?" He asks. I realize we haven't even gotten to the point of this conversation. I nod.

"I need you to tell me everything you know about the Hunger Games."

"What?"

"Like, everything about The hunger Games in general: the events the tributes do leading up to it, tell me about past arenas and sponsors and everything like that. Please, I need to know."

I get a careful look at Four, with his short hair and inquisitive dark eyes. His body is toned and hard and he looks extremely healthy. Even healthier than the town boys in District 12. How is that possible when you're living in the poorest District in Panem. And how come I've never seen him before the reaping? He's not the type of person you would miss. He's very attractive.

I knew something was off about him from day one. I take a step closer to him. "How come you don't know anything about the Hunger Games if you live in Panem, Four?"

"And that's another thing," He says. "I need you not to ask questions."

"You're asking for a lot."

"I know. And that's why, if you do this for me, I'll help you train."

I perk up, then. "What?"

"At the dinner table they said something about training later on in the week. If you help me, I'll give you lessons in fighting."

"What makes you think I want help from you, Four?"

"Don't play dumb." He says. "You've seen what I can do. And besides, you wouldn't want to miss out on an opportunity like that. You are going to be fighting for your life, after all."

He makes a good point. But there's still one thing…

"You do realize we're supposed to be _against_ each other, right? I mean, after all, there can only be one victor."

I notice that we've unconsciously gotten closer to each other. We're about 10 inches apart and I have to look up to see him.

"Eventually, yeah," He says and smiles. "But who said we can't be allies?"

This is a bad idea. I don't want to have to end up killing him if we make it to the end –as if I could, anyway –but for some reason I'm glad he offered. Maybe it's just the fact that I need a friend now, someone to rely on. But can it be Four?

"How do I know I can count on you?"

He's closed the space between us and it's as if the air around us is electrifying. "I guess you're just going to have to trust me."


End file.
